


Breathe Me

by SoulLove



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: AU, AU twist, F/M, Loss, Romance, Shefani - Freeform, The Voice, alternative universe, fictional.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-11-17 04:06:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 67,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11267589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulLove/pseuds/SoulLove
Summary: Gwen Stefani is a senior designer in one of the most prestigious fashion companies in the world. Living in Milan, Italy, she had it all, until it was all taken away from her. She thought coming back to LA would mean a fresh start, but instead she found herself away from her family and friends, alone and mourning a tragic loss.Blake Shelton is the king of country. His success brought him friends, money and happiness, but it has failed to keep his marriage together. Now divorced, he falls head first in endless bottles of vodka.They are just trying to survive the worst time in their lives. Maybe together they will find love again, or maybe together they will destroy each other...P.s.:I upload two chapters at a time, so make sure you always start by Gwen's!- Playlist with songs I mention that I use while writing:https://open.spotify.com/user/12146200518/playlist/2Njaf1KXWD0bmMyd9iiBaP:D





	1. Gwen

_ How am I gonna survive this _ _?  _

 

This was the question I wake up to every morning since The Happening. Every single day, I open my eyes and these words are the first thing my brain thinks.  _ How am I gonna survive this?  _ I stand up, brush my teeth and go downstairs where I’m expected by four adults. I force myself to smile, to be functional and be present, but it takes almost nothing to pull me back to that rock bottom I’ve been living for the past three weeks.

 

My parents, my brother and my sister-in-law start talking around me, occasionally looking at me and trying to include me in the conversation, but I just nod and smile. I don’t know what are they talking about and can’t bring myself to care. So, eventually, I excuse myself and head to the kitchen, looking for some coffee… or vodka. Even the language reminds me of them. How do you keep living in Italy if you can’t stand hearing people speaking italian?

 

As I pour some coffee in a mug, I hear steps getting closer. I turn around and see my mom standing there, concerned look on her face, taking a safety space between us. Action similar to someone who encounter a wild animal in the jungle and doesn’t want to scare it. I sip my coffee, trying to think of something to fill the silence, but my brain comes out short. So the two of us just keep facing each other, not knowing what to say in a moment like this. Two people that had lost so much already. 

 

“I can’t do this, mom.” I finally say, in English, looking at my coffee. My voice is shaky, but I don’t cry. I don’t have tears anymore. “I don’t know how to keep living after this.”

 

She comes closer and brings my head down so she can kiss my forehead, a gesture that had cured so many injuries and fade away so many pains. But is not fading this one. I close my eyes, trying to put my thoughts together, inhaling deeply. 

 

“I don’t know it too, honey. I wish I knew… I keep praying but I still don’t know the answer.” She responds to me also in English, and thank God she doesn’t ask why are we talking in our native language even though we’ve been living in Italy for the past ten years.  

 

Italian is not my language. It’s Kingston’s language. It’s Zuma’s. But they are not here anymore.

 

After all, how do you survive when your whole world gets taken away from you?

 

 

\------------

 

“I’ve decided to come back to LA next month.” I announced to Todd, my brother, just like this. Out cold. We are alone in our parents’ porch, drinking wine after everyone went to sleep. 

 

I expected yelling, some “are you crazy?” type of speech, some shaking to knock some sense into my head. There’s no way in the world I would let him do the same if it was the other way around. Alone in a different country after everything fell apart? Some people had committed suicide for a lot less.

 

But instead, he nods his head and says. “Good. A change of pace. Something to distract you. I think it will be good for you.”

 

“You do? I thought I was crazy to even consider it.”

 

“Is it permanent or just for a couple months?”

 

“Actually, the company needs someone there to overlook the expansion of the brand… I have seniority so they offered me.” I was one of the senior designers for a clothing line called L.A.M.B. here in Milan. I absolutely loved my job, but I also desperately needed a change of subject. My life was shattered around me and this sorry excuse of a woman would never be able to pick the pieces up.

 

“So, it’s for good.” 

 

“It is.”

 

“I know you, sis. You’re gonna work till exhaustion, you’ll forget to eat, you’ll need a personal assistant just to remind you to drink water... but you’re not gonna loose yourself. Despite everything that has happened to you, you still love to live. You wouldn’t be thinking about this if you didn’t.” Todd grabbed my hand, gently pulling me to his side and putting his arm over my shoulders. He always knew my worst fears just by looking at me. “Just promise me you’re gonna call me right away if things get too ugly, okay? It doesn’t matter if it’s 3a.m. here, or you just wanna hear someone familiar. Please don’t shut me down. I’ll always answer your call.” 

 

Todd was a wedding filmmaker here in Milan, an awarded one at that. People from all over Europe want him on their weddings, because he is so freaking good at what he does. He was also living the perfect life with Jen, expecting their first child, a baby girl. He was five years younger, but we had a connection so strong that almost felt like he was my twin. 

 

“How do you think mom’s gonna react?” I asked.

 

“She’ll be sad at first, I think.. You two are very close. But she’ll understand why you need this.” He smiled. “She is also gonna buy the airline company or bring our dad into bankruptcy”. I laughed out loud, the first in a long time. It almost felt weird.

 

It was settled then… I was going back to America. 


	2. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to take my time before they meet, but let me know if this is getting boring xx

_ This is a long way from Oklahoma. _

 

How in the world some hillbilly boy from the middle of the woods ends up with a five-year contract to be a mentor for a tv show on national television? It’s hard to believe. But here I am, standing in front of my red chair on the set of The Voice, ready to begin shooting the first takes. It is our ninth season, this time with Miley Cyrus, Pharrell Williams and the moron, Adam. 

 

We like to give each other a hard time, that’s kind of our thing, but in fact Adam is one of my best friends. Another thing that is still difficult for me to comprehend. A country boy and a rocker, tattooed-lead-singer-of-a-worldwide-known-band are pretty close friends. Only in Hollywood. He may look like some diva-type, but with it wasn’t for Adam, I’ll probably be dead or in an alcoholic coma right now. 

 

Yeah, those past 10 months were rough. I gave everything into a marriage that began already crumbling, and it didn’t last more than two years. I was so in love, so ready to start a family, to share my life with her… She wasn’t. I felt so embarrassed, so guilt, so ashamed. Even though she was the one sleeping around. Still, it felt like my fault. So I drank. I drank a lot. I would come home and spend days inside a bottle of vodka, drinking myself into oblivion. I lost a bunch of weight, to the point that people would low-key ask me if “everything was okay”. I am a big guy, six-foot-five, so imagine how much I had to lose for people to be concerned for my health. 

 

Magazines were having a feast on me, saying that I went to rehab, that I was on a verge of suicide, that I was losing everything. I wasn’t, but my family, specially my mom, were worried with me nonetheless. So that’s when Adam came in and basically dragged me outside, taking me with him everywhere he went. I must have been on two thousand rock concerts so far, which was weird as hell considering that the only pair of shoes that I owned were cowboy boots. 

 

“Cowboy? Blake?” I hear someone calling me. I turned and see a festival of colors all over the place. It also attends by the name of Miley. 

 

“Huh? Sorry, I was over here with my buttons…” I said, apologizing. 

 

“Yeah, I could see the smoke coming out of your ears…” She laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “You know I’m here for you, right? I know I may seem crazy with all this outfits and jokes, but I know what is like to be lost, drifting away… So, if you need me..” She may have good intentions, but I just couldn’t see myself opening up to someone like Miley. So I just nodded.

 

“Thanks, girl. I appreciate it.” I kiss the top of her head like I always do when she comes talking to me. I like to kiss and hug, so sue me. Adam calls me marshmallow sasquatch: big on the outside, mushy on the inside.

 

At the end of shooting, Adam gather his things and comes to my chair. “Everything set for tonight?” 

 

“Yeah, about that….” I begin, scratching my head. He gives me that suspicious look. “You know, I’m better now. If I promise to stay away from the buzz, may I stay home tonight? I just don ‘t feel like going out.

 

We start walking towards the exit. Adam waits until we are safe inside the car that drives us to the Talent Compound to reply. “Yeah man, I just worry about you… I have to go to this thing, otherwise I would stay at home with you. I know you are a big boy, I just like to keep an eye on you.” 

 

And I loved him for that. There weren’t many people that I could count on like him. “I’m not saying that I’m 100%, but it’s getting better. I don’t feel like such a loser anymore.”

 

“Okay, but do you mind if Behati comes by later? Just to bring you some food or whatever.”

 

“She doesn’t have to bother with me like that.. I’ll just order some takeout.”

 

“She won’t mind. Promise.”

 

I agreed. There was no point in discussing this.

 

 

Behati came by later, bringing Italian for dinner. She was funny, sarcastic and very down-to-earth, the last thing you’d expect from a Victoria Secret model. But she and I were very good friends, and the conversation flew by.

 

After she left, I felt like writing again. I picked up the acoustic guitar and sat in front of my office table, scribbling some words on a piece of paper. I’ve been thinking about these lyrics for quite sometime, but never putting too much effort into them. Maybe now they would come to life. 

 

About an hour later, I had a whole song written. Man, that felt good. I smiled to myself, proud of that one, but then I looked around and had no one to show it to. Slowly, the darkness took over. What was the point? Is this really worth?

 

That piece of paper was now forgotten somewhere in my office, as the bottle of vodka was by my side again. 


	3. Gwen

_ LA traffic was always that bad _ _? _

 

I hate spending so much time inside a car. It brings memories I rather forget. My plane touched down three hours ago and I’m still trying to go to my new home, a place the company had rented for me, just so I could get settled in. 

 

L.A.M.B’s headquarters were based in Downtown Los Angeles, and my flat was in West Hollywood. About 10 miles apart. Not so much, right? But you bet that in this traffic I would lose a good 2 hours a day just to get to work.. I could practically see my brother scoffing and saying “I knew you were going to sleep in your office”, because I probably will. 

 

As my Uber driver did his best to arrive at our destination, I pulled my sketchbook and started doodling a few pieces, something to distract me from the present. I didn’t want to look out the window and see cars with families in them. By the time we finally got to my new address, I was shaking so much that all the drawings looked blurred.

 

I sold everything I had in Italy, so all I took with me to LA was a simple bag with my essentials, just enough to wear until I make some shopping here. I was taking the “fresh start” thing to a new level, for sure.

 

I dropped my bag at the entrance, and stood by the door looking into the apartment. It was very clean and impersonal, some practical furniture but nothing that stood out. Suddenly I felt a rush of panic. What have I done? How insane do you have to be to drop everything, your family, your friends, your job and come to this country with nothing more than a suitcase with your belongings? Was I out of my mind? 

 

Tears started pooling on the corners of my eyes as I dialed Todd’s number. He picked it up on the second tone.

 

“Hi, sis!” His cheerful self greeted me.

 

“What did I do, Todd? This is NOT going to work”. I was in a full blown panic attack. I needed someone to put some sense into me.

 

“Honey, I know it looks really scary”, on a more serious tone, Todd started trying to calm me down without using the words that I hated so much:  _ calm down _ . “I know it may seem like the worst idea ever, but you need this. You were a bright, happy person before and I miss that Gwen so much. You need to focus on your work, on your projects, and let God do the rest.. Everything happens for a reason, sis… Trust that and let life show you why are you going through this.”

 

I took a series of deep breaths, entering the apartment and bending foward to rest my elbows on the kitchen stand. 

 

“I love that even with an fucking ocean between us you are able to calm me like that in seconds”, I answered, feeling lighter. “Thanks, bro.”

 

“Okay, now that you are better, tell me about LA and your new pad!” He let out a small laugh, excited like a boy on Christmas morning.

 

“Traffic here sucks, I don’t remember being this bad when we lived here.”

 

“Gwen, when we lived there we still used horses to go places.. It was a long time ago, things change.”

 

“We are not that old, Todd!” I shook my head, and a small smile managed to get on my lips. “But you’re right. People seemed to get dumber, though. They can’t use a turn signal to save their lives.”

 

“That is still alien concept to a major part of the world population”, he laughed. “What about your place? Is it good?”

 

I looked around, really paying attention to my new home for the first time. I started wondering around, holding my phone in my ear. “Uhm… I think it is, I just got here. You know what?  Let me FaceTime you so we can see it together.”

 

We spent an hour FaceTiming, talking about the changes I could do on the decoration, and other stuff. The sun was beginning to settle down when we said our goodbyes. I really needed a glass of wine, so I googled some nearby places, and found a liquor store really close… something told me that I would become best friends with the owner. 

 

In Italy I worked really close to my home, so even after The Happening I didn’t see a lot of cars. Here in LA was a whole different situation. Every time someone flashed their lights or honked, I’d jump. The store was just a few blocks away, but still it felt like a long walk.

 

I managed to get safely to the liquor store, my heart racing fast in my chest. I closed the door behind me, heart still pounding, but no major casualties. I took a deep breath, fixed my hair and started wandering around, looking for my wine. They had a really good selection here, so my cart ended up full of bottles.

 

I was on my way to the cashier when I heard a loud laugh that startled me. I turned around and saw two guys talking. By the look of it, the owner of the laugh saw me jump and kept looking at me, piercing blue eyes and a concerned look on his face. Our eyes met for a brief second, and then I turned back my way to the cashier.

 

“Are you okay? You seem scared.” His accent was thick, and his frame was huge against my petit one. He could sweep me off my feet and over his shoulders to kidnap me in a blink of an eye. He approached me, his cowboy boots stomping the floor. By instinct, my hands grabbed the shopping cart tighter, but somehow I wasn’t as afraid as I should be. Was it a self-destruction thing? 

 

“I’m fine”, I managed to get it out, suddenly in a loss of words. “I’m just.... I was distracted and your laugh…” He got closer, extending his arm to reach me. His face showed worry, but I didn’t know if I could believe him. I shook my head, starting to feel the panic. “I should go..”

 

I abandon my cart and got out of there, not caring about the wine anymore. For a second time in less than a day I felt like coming to US was a huge, humongous, careless mistake. I was afraid of my own shadow, how in the world would I be able to live here and be a normal human being? 

 

I was about to cross the second street when I heard someone calling me. I turned around and everything went white. 


	4. Blake

_ I must be some special kind of stupid.. _

 

It was my day off, and I decided to spend it in the worst way possible: driving in this hell called LA. Why do I keep doing the dumbest shit ever? But the thing is, my friend had this really good liquor store down on West Hollywood and he was begging me to come visit him and taste the new brand of whiskey he was selling. I didn’t want the media following me, so I took my truck and went kind of undercovered. Last thing I needed was some shitty magazine saying that I was now day-drinking out in the open. 

 

I didn’t even planned on going until Miranda called me. Our divorce was finalized and ready to come out, so she called me asking about our statement to the press. I couldn’t care less about it, and she knew that. But she called either way just to mess with me. I told her my PR team would handle it and hang up. Amazing how 30 seconds talking to this witch made me crave a shot of the strongest scotch available. So I grabbed my keys and got out of the house. 

 

James was a good buddy of mine, one who was also making a fortune on my misery. I should be his business partner, because I had already invested my weight in gold buying vodka from his shop. 

 

He was one of that friends that you can’t talk about serious things, but you sure can call for a good time. James was always funny, the life of the party. No wonder why he opened a liquor store. He was telling me some crazy story about last weekend, when he hooked up with two girls who stole his money and car and left him with only his underwear right next to the Hollywood Sign when she came in.

 

She had the same look a deer has when it’s about to be ran over by a truck. Terrified. She was dead pale, and closed the door behind her with a audible sigh of relief. As if she just realized she wasn’t on her home, she shook her head, ran her hands through her platinum blond hair and went straight to the wine section. James’ sister really loves wine too, so he keeps a great wine carton. The blond was heaving a feast, by the looks of it she really needed something to drink. 

 

My attention got back to James’ story again as the blond got out of my sight.

 

“It was hard to explain to the cops why I was dumb enough to think that two beautiful brunettes were interested in me, you know? I’m a fat fuck, there’s no way in hell they wouldn’t rob me…” I laughed out loud, because James was that type of guy that always thought they were the hottest piece of ass in the room, so of course those girls would take advantage of that.

 

I didn’t realize the blond was in front of us again, pushing her shopping cart on her way to the cashier. When I laughed, she jumped like she had heard gunshots. I felt bad for scaring her like this, so I went to her.

“Are you okay? You seem scared.” I slowly approached her, not wanting her to run away, because her body language totally pointed that way. One wrong move and she would be gone….

 

“I’m fine”, She said, her voice squealed, her tone showing she was quite the opposite of  _ fine _ . She seemed to be knee-deep on some shit, and my southern-raised self instinctively went on protective mode. But she looked at me like I was some sort of psycho. “I should go..”

 

Just like that, she was out the door, her wine forgotten inside the cart. I told James to put it on my tab, put everything on a bag and went outside after her. 

 

She was not that far, but she was a quick little thing. She braced herself like she was cold, even though we were in the middle of spring, and I yelled her to stop just as she was about to cross the street.

 

The blond got distracted by my calling and were almost ran over by a jerk on a Audi. The headlights flashed our way and it blinded me for a second. When I got my sight back, I saw her passing out on the curb. Luckily, my big legs were fast enough and with two steps I was by her side. I put the wine bag carefully on the ground and kneeled beside her. 

 

“Miss? Are you hearing me?” She slowly regained her consciousness, her big brown eyes staring at me. “Thank God, you scared the living shit out of me! Are you okay to stand up?” She didn’t answer but nodded. “Okay, take it easy… Are you hurt? Do you want to go to the hospital?” 

 

I might as well have asked if she wanted to participate in a manslaughter. Her face went completely white and her eyes practically jumped out of her face, and immediately she freed herself from my hands. She looked down, shaking her head no, completely frightened. 

 

“Alright, just please let me call you a cab or escort you to your house… You look like you could die right here right now with a simple breeze..” She began refusing, but I didn’t let her speak. “I promise I won’t harm you… it’s just my southern hospitality towards a pretty lady”, I showed off my dimples, a foolproof way to get someone to do what I wanted. “I’m Blake, by the way, if you don’t know who I am.”

 

“I’m… My name is Gwen.” She answered, smoothing her clothes and suddenly looking at me. “Why should I know who you are?” 

 

“Sorry, it was a stupid thing to say, I’m just not used to people not recognizing me… I guess fame really got into me” I laughed, embarrassed. The one time I had the opportunity to not screw up… great job, Blake.

 

“I just got back from living in Europe, so don’t deflate your ego so soon. Sorry I may seem like a mess, it’s just… I’m having a tough time adjusting back to LA… I get scared easily” She smiled shyly, apologizing herself. 

“Don’t worry about it, I just came back after you because you forgot your wine, and if I learned anything from this life, it is to recognise someone who really needs a drink. You look like you could use the whole bottle.” When she laughed, a small heavenly, angel-like chuckle, my insides just turned into a pile of mush. It felt like a shot of tequila straight to my head. “Can I at least accompany you home?” 

 

She took one last look at me, deciding if she could trust me or not, before saying. “Okay.”

 


	5. Gwen

_ I must really have a death wish. _

 

Because not only I just had moved to a city I knew nothing about anymore, I didn’t know anyone here and now I was being escorted home by a stranger.

 

A very handsome, charming stranger who didn’t look dangerous at all.

 

Something in me was just like  _ maybe if you fuck him, you’ll feel something again. You’ll feel human again.  _ Perhaps that voice was right. I was tired of not feeling anything, just fear and sadness. After all, I had turned my whole life around so I could get a fresh start, right? What better way of kicking it than enjoying an one night stand?

 

“So… celebrity boy… What are you famous for? Are you in one of those  _ Bachelor- _ style competitions?” Please God, let it be something else.

 

He laughed, as if the idea were ridiculous.  _ Thank you, Jesus.  _ “No, I’m a singer. A country singer, hence the boots.” He got one of his feet up so I could see what he was talking about. “But I’m also on a tv show about music and stuff, that’s why I’m in this goddamn hell called Los Angeles.” Another fish out of the water, just like me. And now that I knew he was really famous and probably wouldn’t risk everything by murdering me, I felt a little bit safer. 

 

Country was not my favorite genre of music, that’s why I didn’t know him. 

 

“What about you, miss Europe? Why are you here?” Uh oh, red flag. How can I answer this the most generic way possible? 

 

“I, uhm… I’m a designer, I just got here from Milan, Italy.”

 

By the look on his face, he was expecting a little more information, but I wasn’t ready to give it. He nodded and we fell into a comfortable silence, walking side by side. It didn’t take long to reach my building, so I stopped on the sidewalk and faced him.

 

“So… this is me. Thank you for accompanying me”. I really meant it. Walking beside him made me calmer, I almost didn’t acknowledge the cars passing by. 

 

“You are very welcome.” He looked into my eyes for a second, as if he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. “Here’s your wine. Uhm.. I’m gonna go, welcome to LA, Gwen.” He handed me the bag, not knowing what to do next. It felt really uncomfortable, two awkward people not used to this type of situation. 

 

“Uhm, thanks…” He started making his way back, so I made up my mind pretty quickly. “Blake!” I shouted, and he turned around for me. “Do you want to come upstairs? I have this shit load of wine that some stranger just bought me” I held the bag up, trying my best to put a sexy smile on my lips.. Although it felt like some creepy smile, it had the desired effect, because Blake smiled back and nodded his head yes. 

 

“I hope you doesn’t think that I bought you this wine so I could drink it with you.”

 

“I wouldn’t judge you if you did.” 

 

 

\----------

 

 

“So, I don’t know if I have wine glasses…. Or any glasses at all”, I began, unlocking the door and getting inside the apartment, with Blake behind me. I standed on the side and let him go through and closed the door. “I have to check that.”

 

“Wow, you were not kidding when you said you just got here. You literally  _ just got  _ here.” 

 

“Yeah, like five hours ago.” And I already invited a man into my house. This must be some kind of record. 

 

I opened all the cabinets in the kitchen, looking for something we could drink from. It didn’t have wine glasses, but I found some teacups that would have to do. “That’s all I could find, but it should be fine”, I announced, holding the cups. He was standing in the middle of my living room, looking around. When I talked, he turned his head at me, letting a small laugh when he saw the teacups. It would look like an ant-sized mug on his big hands. 

 

“Tonight we’ll be drinking with class, I see”. He went for the bag and randomly chose a bottle of wine, pulling out of his pocket a Swiss knife that also had a corkscrew. I widened my eyes, surprised. “What? I’m assuming that you also doesn’t have a wine opener too.”

 

“Probably, but I’m more worried with the fact that you walk around with a knife in your pocket and I virtually don’t know you…. Should I feel concerned for my safety?”

 

“Or you could feel protected because I could use this against somebody trying to break in.” He answered, sincerely. It felt kind of weird to me, because I’m not used to someone genuinely looking after my well-being, besides my family, of course. I spent so many years fearing for my life… I guess this is just another thing that I need to overcome. 

 

He opened the wine and brought it to the living room, where I was. I holded both cups so he could fill them. After he put the bottle on the floor, I extended one of them for him. 

 

“To new beginnings…” He toasted. 

 

“And strangers.” I replied.


	6. Blake

_ Wine with an empty stomach and a gorgeous blonde taking my breath away… very bad idea.  _

 

There was a part of my brain screaming _ GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE  _ but it was a very little one. The bigger part of it (and 100% of my dick) were focused on those coffee brown eyes, shooting a rush of adrenaline in my veins. The silence between us should be awkward, but it wasn’t. None of us could look away from each other while sipping our drinks. It was electric, exiting. 

 

She looked like she was trying so hard to be this bold, adventurous new person, even though she wasn’t. I was completely fine with letting her experiment on me, if that meant I could get my hands on her. 

 

For the record: I’m still a well-raised country boy who would never take advantage of a damsel in distress. But I’m also a man, who hadn’t had sex in.. a while. That’s why I wasn’t pushing anything.

 

I wasn’t refusing either. 

 

She broke the silence, asking me something while she poured another shot for both of us. I can’t remember what it was, but I answered, and she giggled. That angel giggle again, doing things to me.

 

 

 

Two bottles later, we were sitting on the floor, laughing so hard about something that I’m sure it must have been hilarious. She had her legs spread across my lap, with her elbow leaned on the couch and her head resting on her hand. She was facing my side, while I had my back against that same furniture. 

 

The wine went straight to my head, but I was drunker on her scent. She smelled like vanilla and summer rain. One deep breath and it was more powerful than cocaine through my brain. The only thing keeping me from jumping her bones were her legs holding me in place, so I started drawing circles with my fingers over the fabric of her pants. She was pretty dizzy as well, shaking her head and almost spilling the wine we were having on those ridiculous teacups. 

 

Slowly, the laughter fade away, the affect of my light touch showing its signs. She put her cup on the floor, no longer interested in the wine, and stared at me. I stared back at her, trying to read her next move. Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. 

 

Boy, she was thirsty. Better yet, hungry. And nothing in the world could’ve had prepared me for what I felt with that kiss. It was like she was the key to release some wild beast in me, because I could not control my actions anymore. My hands were everywhere, on her back, her hips, her ass.

 

She opened her legs and sat on my lap, never breaking our contact. It was now filthy, animalistic even. I kept grabbing that cute little ass of hers, trying to cover as much ground as I could. She moved her head away, gasping for air, and then went straight for my neck, pulling my hair to the other side so she could have better access. .

 

I was getting harder by the second. The window for this to end without further consequences was closing fast. 

 

“Listen”, I tried to say, holding her shoulders so she could look at me. She looked kinda pissed by the interruption. “We don’t have to do this, I better go before we do anything that we will reg-”

 

“Shhhh, don’t speak”, Gwen shushed me, putting one hand on my lips. “I don’t wanna think, I just want to… feel”. She closed her eyes, looking overwhelmed and determined at the same time. 

 

Fine by me. 

 

I took her shirt off and layed her on the carpet, kissing every inch of skin I could. Next thing to get out of the way were her pants. She was a vision of heaven, lying there only in her white laced underwear. But her face was absolutely the definition of devil, all flustered with desire. My hands got to her bra, and she helped me take it off. I immediately started kissing her breasts, and her moan told me she liked that. My beard left red marks all over her chest, but she didn’t seem to care. In fact, she kinda liked it. 

 

I started going my way down, covering her stomach with kisses. Slowly, I pulled her panties down her legs. Just like that, she was completely naked. I kissed my way back to her center, and she inhaled deeply, predicting what I was going to do next. Gwen opened her legs to me, trembling with anticipation, and I went for it.

 

I was merciless, showering her clit with kisses and small bites. When I inserted two fingers inside her, she jolted forward, completely lost in pleasure. I kept fucking her with my fingers, with a fast but steady pace, whilst working on her clit with my mouth. Her moans and cries were getting louder and louder.

 

“Oh my….. Fuck, Blake…. oh my God…” Her voice was completely broken, and I smiled on her pussy like a fucking king. “I’m so close…. Fuck…” I kept my pace, but I could feel her holding back. 

 

I went harder on her clit, sucking it and slipping my tongue up and down. She grabbed my hair and pulled it, sending a shiver down my spine, straight to my cock. 

 

“Good.. Cum for me, darlin’.... I want to see you cum..” That was alI it took. She bursted into a million pieces, shaking and screaming my name. Hearing my name come out of her lips like that made my dick so hard I was almost fucking the floor. So I got up and took my clothes off in a blink of an eye. Somehow, I remembered the condom on my wallet and grabbed it before letting my jeans fall to the ground and scooped her off the floor. She was still coming down her high, but she locked her legs over my waist and held my neck, kissing my lips with a new found hungry. 

 

I blindly took us down the hall, opening all doors looking for a bed.  _ God, please, let it be a bed in this apartment.  _ On the last door, there it was, a giant king sized one, so I wasted no time and laid us both on it. 

 

Gwen was under me, but she had other plans. She pushed me back and turned us around, kissing my neck again and straddling my lap. Damn, if I don’t get inside her right this second, this will end in a very embarrassed way for me. I can’t hold it much longer. Thankfully, neither did she, because she snapped the condom off my hand, ripped the packing and before I realized, it was already on my dick. 

 

She lowered herself down on me, and oh my fucking God. She was so hot and wet, there was no way in hell I would last more than 30 seconds, like I was some kind of horny teenager. Her pussy was tight and perfect, and I had to make a decision quick or this would get pretty awkward. So I turned us around and started pounding on her hard. I needed her to cum again before I did, and the goosebumps on my thighs were telling me I didn’t have much time. My hand went for her clit. Two strokes on it was all she needed to start clenching my dick inside her, so I let myself go too. My sight went white and I crumbled on the bed by her side.

 

All I knew was that I found a new addiction.. And it had nothing to do with alcohol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first sex scene in English (Portuguese is my native language)... What did you guys think? Please tell me how I can improve! 
> 
> I'm loving the comments, thanks to everyone reading this fic! It's a great way to work my English and I'm loving the exercise!


	7. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm absolutely LOVING your comments! Thank you so much for the feedback! Here's a longer chapter, I hope you guys enjoy it :D

_ I was late. Very fucking late.  _

 

My first day of work as essentially the head of a company that trusted me so much, and I was running late. Wonderful. I was halfway down the bathroom when I heard a phone ringing and the corner of my eye caught a movement on the bed, then I remembered… Blake was still here. 

 

_ Shit shit shit. _

 

I locked myself in the bathroom, trying to think. The effects of the wine (and the sex - three rounds) were starting to get to me. .My head was dizzy and the bathroom lights were waaaay too bright. But my main attention was on the conversation Blake was having outside.

 

“Adam, calm the fuck down… I’m okay.... I know, I didn’t sleep at home.. Fuck off…. Hey, it’s too early for you to be yelling at me. I’ll be there in a minute.” And then, silence. 

 

I looked on the mirror and saw my reflection. My hair was a complete mess, my lips were swollen, I had bite marks all over my shoulders and chest, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret last night. A naughty smile broke through my lips. 

 

Shit, my job. I was still very much in trouble. 

 

I took a fast shower, thinking about some excuses to use when I get there, like traffic and time zone, and got out of the bathroom wrapped around a towel. 

 

“Okay. You have to go right now. I’m super late for work.” I told Blake,who was still on my bed, looking at me like I was a hurricane, while I went through my bag in a search of clothes.

 

“Uhm.. Hi, good morning, first of all.” He answered with a defiant smile and I gave him the stink eye. The son of a bitch laughed. “Don’t worry though, I need to go as well.” Blake got up and we got dressed in the most awkward silence ever. This is the way all one night stands end? No wonder I had zero experience in that. 

 

We got out of the apartment together. I got my phone up to call an Uber, also trying to avoid the strange silence between us. As we got out on the sidewalk, Blake held my arm.

 

“I want to see you again”. It caught me by surprise. This thing between us was crazy and exciting, something that I’ve never done before. But I wasn’t ready to let another man in. In fact, I wasn’t ready to let anyone in. I had a lot of thing to figure it out first. 

 

“It doesn’t work like that, Blake.” 

 

“How does it work?”

 

“What he just had was fun….”

 

“A lot of fun”, he added.

 

“....but that was it. A fun, crazy encounter. One time thing. Can’t we just leave it at that?”  _ Where was my damn Uber when I needed it _ ?

 

“Why can’t we just keep having fun?” I didn’t answer right away. I was scared. It could mean so much more than I was ready to have. But, deep down, I wanted to repeat it a lot more than those three times. He was amazing, hands down the best sex I’ve ever had, but something also told me that we just wasn’t the fun-and-no-feelings-involved kind of guy. I stood there, biting my lip, looking at him. “Can I at least have your number? We can talk about this later.” 

 

Apparently, God decided that one for me, because my Uber had just arrived. I jumped inside the car and didn’t look back. 

 

 

\------

 

 

“I’m so sorry for my delay, I’m still not used to LA Traffic”, I entered the meeting room already apologizing, but thank God I didn’t arrive that much later than expected. Some of the executives weren’t with us yet.

 

The second I entered, I recognized Lizzie, my assistant back in Milan. I didn’t know she would come too! It must have been a last second decision by the management. I had asked for her presence, but the CEO told me that it wouldn’t be possible. Thank God they changed their minds. 

 

“Don’t worry, honey. Not everyone made it on time. Some bad accident jammed everything, I believe.” Lizzie, said, opening her arms to me. I hugged her tight. “It’s so good to see you again.” 

 

“I’m so happy they sent you here too! I’d be lost without you. Why didn’t I know you would come? Are you here with me for good?”

 

“Sorry, the asked me just last week and I thought it would be a good surprise. I’ll be here as long as you need me. Come on, I’ll introduce you to some of the people that will be working here with us.” 

 

The meeting went on smoothly. Everyone seemed pretty friendly and crazy about fashion. A lot of young talent, as well. A few people from the Milan headquarters were here too, to get things started, but I was in charge of basically everything, reporting only to the office back in Italy. 

 

It was amazing and also overwhelming that they trusted me like that, specially after all I’ve been through the last couple of months. But I sure as hell wasn’t gonna ask questions, because working here was basically keeping me sane and alive. It felt good to be useful, important, active. By the time of lunch I’ve had three meetings already, talking to every section of the chain separately, feeling the vibe of the team, hearing their ideas for the brand and how L.A.M.B could stand out here in the US.  

 

The first week went by like a blur. Todd was right, if it wasn’t for Lizzie, I’d forget to have lunch every time. She already had become friends with the delivery guys around the corner, and they would send us the best dishes, in exchange, of course, for some pretty generous tips. 

 

I would come home late every night, with energy left only for a quick shower before falling asleep like a rock on my bed. But it didn’t stop my brain from dreaming with a certain cowboy. Flashbacks from our night together insisted in coming back to haunt me, and I’m not ashamed to confess that I touched myself a couple of times after some particular wet dreams. 

 

His smell, the way he hold me, how he would recover just like that for another round, almost superhuman-like, until I was pretty much passed out from pleasure. He would get me off every time before he did, like a true gentleman, until I lost count how many times I had an orgasm. 

 

By the beginning of the second week, I started wondering if I really made the right decision. The memories were fading away, and I caught myself craving him just like a drug. But that was nothing I could do about it, because I had no idea how to reach him. Him, by the other hand, knew where I live. If he really wanted to see me again, why he didn’t come at my door?

 

_ Stop that shit right now.  _ I didn’t come here to be some clingy girlfriend, daydreaming about her  _ beau _ . A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. 

 

“Excuse me, Gwen”, It was Melissa, head of Marketing. I gestured her to come in. “I just talked with Miley Cyrus’ stylist. He was really interested in seeing what we had for her.” Wow, Melissa was good. “This is a huge opportunity for us, because she is a coach on The Voice, and they are about to start the Live Shows.”

 

“Okay, what is it? A tv show?”

 

“Sorry, I forgot you used to live abroad. Yeah, it’s a NBC show, it’s about music. They have four coaches, and they help new singers develop their talent. Now they are on the live phase, every monday and tuesday. It’s like number one on audience ratings, and Miley’s fanbase is huge.” 

 

“Amazing, schedule a meeting here, or if he wants we can meet them on set or wherever, we’ll bring some samples of our new collection.”

 

“Yeah, he will probably want us to come to them, because he already told me that Miley wants to be involved in everything he chooses for her. It’s very important that she likes it too. I think we should be fine, though. Our line is totally her.” 

 

“As soon as you set everything, let me know.” 

 

The meeting ended up being scheduled for next monday morning, on set. I had to do some research. Two other artists wanted to know our work, so my weekend was booked.

 

It was almost 8p.m. and Lizzie and I were the last ones on the office. She knocked on my door, startling me. 

 

“Lizzy, get out of here! What are you still doing here? It’s Friday!” I said, taking my glasses off and rubbing my forehead.

 

“It’s Friday for you too and you are also here!” She laughed, putting her hands on her waist. “I’m old and boring, but you are hot and young.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. She was just five years older than me, and I felt anything but young and hot. “I’m on my way already, but I just wanted to let you know that some of the girls were talking about this new club downtown. Why don’t you go? Could be fun. The company has V.I.P passes…” 

 

“Thanks honey, but I rather be at home, with a good wine…” Except that wine reminded me of  _ him _ . “I don’t feel like partying.”

 

“Well, it was worth a try. If you change your mind, here’s Sarah’s phone number.” I remembered Sarah. She was one of the Junior designers. “She knows all the Victoria Secret models. It could be fun.” I grabbed the piece of paper Lizzie extended to me, just in case, but the odds of me going out were close to zero. 

 

“I’m gonna head out too. My body is screaming for some bath time”, I laughed, gathering my things. Lizzie and I walked towards the exit. 

 

I don’t know why, but part of me was expecting Blake in front of my building. Some romantic comedy movie kind of moment. I even got anxious on the ride home, looking for his frame on the sidewalk and asking the doorman if anyone had come looking for me, but of course, no sign of him. I wanted to kick myself for being so naive.

 

I entered the apartment angry with myself. That’s what I get for trying to be bold. Now I have a damn crush on my first one night stand. To make things worse, I downloaded his music while taking my bath, so now his charming southern accent was filling the room. I put my phone down on a chair next to me and closed my eyes, relaxing a bit, trying to organize my feelings and my thoughts. 

 

It was stupid of me to think that some super famous country singer would be chasing after a crazy damaged girl like me. I didn’t even want the chase. Or did I? No, it would bring me so much trouble. Right? Ugh, I was going insane alone here with this damn sweet voice singing me that we  _ didn’t have to be lonely tonight..  _

 

That was it. I was calling Sarah. I needed a night out. 


	8. Blake

_ Why in the hell did I agreed to come to Nashville _ ?

 

It was a stupid idea. Because not only I had crossed with Miranda two times, which always ruins the day, I was also away from LA and - thanks to my inability to get Gwen’s number or writing down her address - unable to reach the gorgeous blonde who was populating my thoughts these days. My mood was pretty bad by Thursday. Even Luke Bryan, a fellow singer and good friend of mine, noticed, asking me if everything was okay when we got out on Broadway for some bro time.

 

“Okay, I’ll tell you but you can’t make fun of me. Deal?” I needed to tell someone or I’d lose it. 

 

“Fine. But if you’re gonna tell me that you now  _ like boys  _ I’ll have some follow-up questions”, he joked and I punched his arm. “Just kidding. Spill it out.”

 

“I met someone.” Luke almost spilled the beer he had just sipped. “We spent one night together and now I can’t stop thinking about her.” He was about to say something, but he must have remembered this was a big deal for me. My divorce and the cheating had completely crushed me. He stopped for a second, trying to think what to say. 

 

“Wow… That’s good, I suppose? ” He was unsure. “I mean, this is the first time since... right ? Why are you acting so moody then?”

 

“The thing is, she didn’t give me her number when I asked and the next day I came to this stupid city…” 

 

“Uhhh, a player. Nice.” He commented, half surprised, half amazed. I looked at him kinda angry. I did not needed this. “Sorry, sorry. But you’ll come back tomorrow, right? Can’t you just find a way of meeting her? Flash those dimples of yours her way for one second and she is yours.”

 

I laughed. Back in the day, that move was fool-proof. Now I don’t know anymore. “I guess, but she is tough. It needed two bottles of wine to break down her walls.” Luke snapped his head, impressed.

 

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.”

 

\--------

 

As soon as my plane touched down, I turned on my phone to call Adam. He was going to pick me up here on the airport.. The sooner I get home, the sooner I can go back to Gwen’s apartment to try finding her.

 

“What’s up, moron?” Adam answered.  “I’m outside already.”

“Okay, I’m getting off the plane. Meet you on the gate?” I stood up, holding the phone with one hand and getting my bag with the other. 

 

“Yeah, I’ll be the one holding a bouquet of red roses.” We laughed and hanged up. 

 

Adam was easy to spot, with all those tattoos on his arms. He was leaned against a pillar, sunglasses on, one arm across Behati’s shoulders, who was smiling so sweetly at me. My mood got better instantly. I loved that girl. 

 

“Hey! Where are my roses? I’m disappointed!” I exclaimed, pretending to be upset. They laughed and Behati came to me, giving me a hug. “Hi, baby doll. It’s so good to see you.”

 

“Hi dear.” She replied and let me go. I went to Adam.

 

“Sorry, I found this pretty girl here and gave it to her” He hugged me too. “Everything alright?” 

 

“Yeah, just tired from the trip. Should we get going?”

 

They nodded and we made our way to the exit. “I’m so sorry to hear that, because I have a intimation for you.” Behati began, looking at me with those puppy dog eyes I was simply unable to resist. 

 

“Bee, don’t do this to me…” 

 

“It will be fun, I swear! You’ll get to hang out with all the girls, party a little… Come on…. Pleeeease?” She started jumping up and down like a little girl, and even though that directly interfered with my original plan, I couldn’t say no to her. I looked over to Adam, who was laughing at my weakness.

 

“You did this, didn’t you? You dragged your wife into this because you knew that I wouldn’t say no. You idiot!” He laughed even harder, pulling her closer and kissing the top of her head. “Fine. Where are we going?”

  

Remember when I said that Adam dragged me around a thousand rock concerts for the past 10 months? It looks like I'll be the clown with cowboy boots in another one. 

 

 

It was one of those loud clubs, and by the time we arrived, it was already packed. We went straight to the V.I.P section, where we had more privacy, and got welcomed by a waitress with a tray full of tequila shots.   _ This was not going to end well.   _ Each one of us grabbed one and toasted it, chugging it down on one sip. 

 

We started wondering around, occasionally stopping to chat with someone we knew. Pretty soon Behati found her friends and Adam followed. Their talk, although funny, were shallow and full of references I didn’t get. So I grabbed my drink and quietly moved away. 

I sipped my vodka, scanning around to find someone familiar, and my eyes caught something by the entrance.  _ Well, I’ll be damned. _

 

Gwen had just arrived. There is a God and he really loves me. 

 

Her platinum blond hair was down on long waves, and she was wearing a short sparkly silver dress combined with 5-inch black stilettos. The perfect word to describe her would be “goddess”. She turned to her side to talk to her friend accompanying her, still unaware of my presence. I took advantage of that and stayed far away, close to a wall. I wanted to observe her a little bit, see what she was like normally.

 

Her friend held her hand and walked to Behati’s group. By the look of it, she didn’t know anyone and was being introduced around, including Adam. She was talking to the whole group now, getting everyone’s full attention. She looked a pro, a professional used to giving speeches, but something told me she was nervous. Maybe was the thing with her hair.. Whenever someone asked her a question, she would grab a lock of hair, make a curl with it and let it go before answering. 

 

Suddenly, the music changed and the group decided to go to the dance floor.  _ Oh, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  _ I followed, taking a safe space between us, urging to see her dance. I took another sip of my drink and watched Gwen make her way into the crowd. She seemed a little bit embarrassed, as if she didn’t dance like that in ages. But she closed her eyes and let the music flow through her body. It was a scene worth a million dollars. According to the beat of the music, she passed her hands over her body and swayed her hips. 

 

Gwen was the definition of sexy and I wasn’t the only one noticing it. A small group of jerks was slowly forming around her, pathetic looks across their stupid faces. Befor I knew it, my feet dragged me closer. I stood on the verge of the crowd, facing her back, and I held my drink tightly. She continued dancing, turning around slowly.

 

The song changed and she opened her eyes, straight to me. 

 

For five seconds, a handful of emotions passed through her face: surprise, disbelief, lust, happiness and then, anger? Why would she be angry at me? But, ultimately, that familiar hunger took over and she marched my way. I had about half a second to prepare myself for what was about to happen.

 

She smashed her lips against mine, devouring everything I had to offer. 

 

 


	9. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music is a big part of my writing, so from now on I'll write here what song inspired me to write the chapters, so you can "set the mood" and feel a little bit more. This chapter is brought to you by: Gasoline - Halsey

_ Blake was here, Blake was here, Blake was here. _

 

I wanted so bad to be able to resist him, to show that I didn’t care and our night together didn’t really had that much affect on me. I wanted to be angry at him, for asking to see me again and then vanishing, leaving me in a pool of conflicted emotions. But I couldn’t. I wanted to feel him again, taste him, feel him inside me, feeding the beast I had underneath my skin that was craving for Blake like a drug addicted to heroin. 

 

When I opened my eyes on the dance floor and saw him right in front of me, I didn’t think. I spent so many nights trying to relive what we had that when the opportunity fell into my lap, I didn’t waste it. So I went for the kill. 

 

I should care that he probably was here with someone, maybe a date. A cowboy like him wouldn’t come to this super upscale club by himself, right? And I should remember that I was here with a bunch of coworkers that essentially worked for me. Acting like a mad woman kissing strangers on the dance floor wasn’t exactly respectful, but not a single part of my brain gave a fuck about all that. 

 

We kissed like he was a sailor about to leave, desperately, hungrily. Blake held me close to him, grabbing my hair and matching his need with mine. We were already out of breath when we separated.

 

“I don’t care if you are here with some wife, girlfriend, date.... I just need you to take me home. Right now.” He swallowed hard, surprised by my boldness. “You wanted to see me again, right? Here’s your chance.” I said near his ear, still as connected with him as our clothes let us. 

 

“Darlin, I have no fucking idea what I’m going to do to you.” Blake kept going up and down my body with his hands, as if he couldn’t believe that I really was in front of him. He kissed my neck, sending shivers through my spine. Biting my lobe with just the right amount of strength, he continued. “I hope you’re not tired because I’m not letting you sleep tonight. For all I know this could be the last time you let me get my hands on you, so I’m enjoying it as much as I can.” Not even waiting for an answer, he grabbed my hand and lead us out the club.

 

We kissed the whole ride home, only stopping when we got to his house. 

 

“Shit, wait… I have....” We got out of the Uber, panting like we had just ran a marathon. He put his arm around my waist and led me to this huge mansion I assumed was his. “Let me just send a text to my friends to tell them I went home.” He got his phone and I got mine, also notifying Sarah I wasn’t at the club anymore.

 

With that duty out of the way, we could focus back on what we were there to do. As soon as he locked the door behind us, I kissed him again, reaching for the buttons of his shirt, taking it out. He used both hands to cup my face, making me look at him.  “I was going crazy thinking that I would never see you again.” He seemed so sincere that it overwhelmed me. 

 

“Why didn’t you come looking for me, then?” The question flew out of my lips before I could stop it, ruining my nonchalantly and carefree approach to this situation. He looked amused.

 

“I thought it was an one time thing for you”, he mocked, planting kisses on my neck. “I had to go to Nashville for work. For the first time ever, I hated it.” A shy smile appeared on my face. He reached for the zipper on my dress, ending the conversation. 

 

I got out of that piece of fabric, while Blake undid his pants and took off his boots, left only with his boxes. He smashed his lips against mine, pinning me to the nearest wall. I lifted my legs, circling his waist, while he took my arms and held them up, making me unable to move as he kissed and licked my breasts.. Our touch was electric, greedy, insatiable. I rested my head on the wall, letting a moan escape when he bit my right nipple.

 

The only thing I could move to relieve that need I felt inside was my hips, so I started rolling them. That move almost send us both to the edge, because Blake groaned too. I could feel his erection under his underwear, and suddenly I felt eager to taste him. 

 

“Take me to your bed… now.” He obliged, moving his hands to my ass so he could hold me in place. With my arms free, I could do anything I wanted, so I started leaving scratch marks all over his back. I was feeling very bold, so I also sucked his neck, leaving a hickey that would be hard to explain. But I didn’t care. His low moan told me he didn’t either.

 

He walked towards the bedroom and let my feet touch the floor. I immediately dropped to my knees in front of him, pulling down his boxers. I looked up and met his surprised gaze.

 

“Darlin’, you don’t have to do this…” his accent was thick and his voice, low. My answer was opening my mouth and putting as much of his dick in as I could. He gasped, grabbing my hair hard and closing his eyes… It was a long time since I last did this, my I could tell he was enjoying. I worked my tongue up and down, giving a handjob as I licked the tip. “Gwen..  _ fuck”.  _ The hand on my hair started gently guiding me how he liked it, and I was having the time of my life seeing him so lost.

 

_ He was big. How could I forget how big he was? _

 

I focused on giving him pleasure with my mouth, and my hand travelled to my pussy, finding it already dripping wet. I pushed my panties aside and began touching myself, making that moment even hotter. 

 

“Gwen, baby… That’s enough…” He managed to say with difficulty, holding my shoulders so he could get out of my mouth. I let it go with a loud pop and smiled naughtily. He laughed and picked me up, tossing me to the bed like I weighed five pounds.

 

Blake hovered me, diving in so he could kiss my lips. I opened my mouth, inviting him in. His tongue made an appearance, making my head spin as if I was drunk. I returned the favor by biting his lower lip and he growled.

 

“You…” he shooked his head, making his way down on me. “You have no idea the effect you have in me.” Blake interchanged sweet and soft kisses with dirty filthy ones as he traveled south. I was losing my mind in anticipation. “I drank like an alcoholic just to try forgetting about you…. It didn’t work.” To torture me, he took his time pulling my panties, flashing those damn dimples at me. My hand punched the mattress and I let out a frustrated groan. He laughed. “Getting impatient, are we?” He kissed my inner thigh, getting dangerously close to my core. 

 

Finally, he decided to put me out of my misery and started eating me out. His tongue was all over the place. When his fingers came out to play, I screamed, grabbing the sheets. My thoughts were disconnected, I was so lost in the moment I was pretty sure that I was making no sense. My hips had a life of their own, meeting Blake halfway as he thrusted his fingers inside me.

 

“What do you want, Gwen?” He asked me as I could barely breathe. 

 

“Fuck.. I’m so close…”

 

“What. do. You. want. I’m not giving you if you don’t say it” he slowed down his pace and I grunted, angry.

 

“Please, Blake.. Oh my God”

 

“Tell me”

 

“Please make me cum… I’m so close…” He got what he wanted, so did that thing with my clit and I exploded into a billion pieces, shaking uncontrollably. My orgasm wasn’t finished yet when I felt him moving towards the nightstand. Before I realized, he had already put the condom on and began entering me.

 

We both moaned loudly when he got all the way in, and Blake wasted no time on moving. Slow, at first, but it quickly got faster and faster as we approached the edge. Out of breath and dripping sweat,  both of us so lost in the moment.. Nothing else mattered. 

 

He got out of me, making me grunt, and turned me around. I was now laying on my stomach.. He penetrated me again, that position making him reach spots never before reached inside of me. I arched my back, getting closer to his chest, and he took advantage of that my biting my earlobe and whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

 

“Do you like that, huh?” He said, kissing my back. “I’ll make you sore in all the right places, every time you move you’ll remember me”, now, he was biting my neck, pulling my hair so he could get better access, never stopping thrusting hard on me. 

 

“Fuck, Blake…. Faster…”

 

I was so close to an another one that my hand travelled down my clit, but he didn’t let me touch myself. “No cheating, darlin… I’ll get you off, just let it build..” He went faster and harder, my moans getting louder with it. When his mouth got my lobe again, I lost it. I jumped that cliff screaming his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bigger sex scene.. I'm still learning new words so it doens't become repetitive. Please keep your feedback, it has been amazing!!


	10. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one listening to I Don't Want This Night to End - Luke Bryan ;D

_ I can’t get enough of her.  _

 

It was already 4h30 in the morning and we were still awake. He’d fucked two times on the bed, then she got up to take a shower and I followed, taking her against my shower box underneath the water. When I thought I was done, she laid with me on my bed again and one deep breath of her scent, now mixed with my soap, was all it took to get hard as a stone. 

 

She will be walking funny for the next couple of days.

 

My room looked like it was the place of a robbery, with sheets on the floor, pillows tossed all over the place. Gwen was riding me now, with her eyes closed and her hair looking like a golden waterfall on her shoulders. Her hands were on my chest using me for support while her hips did it’s magic. I don’t think I’ve ever got so insane by this position before as I am now.

 

Where did this woman come from?  _ Why was she messing with my head that much? _

 

I stood up into a sitting position, urging to kiss her. I needed that contact. One of my hands cupped her jaw, getting her closer to me, and her tiny hand covered mine as we kissed. She pressed her forehead against mine, slowing her pace, and for a second it looked like we were making love, not just fucking. She realized that too, so she pushed me back to the mattress and her movements got faster.

 

I reached for her clit to speed things up a little, because I could feel my orgasm near. She gasped and threw her head back, getting closer to her climax too. Another roll of her hips and we were both moaning loud, exploding as we got another mind-blowing orgasm.

 

She fell on the mattress by my side not much time later, still out of breath. I rolled to my side so I could face her, and planted a kiss on her shoulder. She smiled with closed eyes, completely exhausted. I went to the bathroom to discard the condom and take a quick shower. When I came back to the bed, she was already fast asleep. 

 

I stared at her relaxed face, trying to figure this woman out. Why would someone be so willing to give her body, but completely shut down at the tiniest sign of intimacy? It was the first time I saw somebody fully detach sex and affection, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. Should I feel used? Or should I try helping and being there for her, even if it only meant sex? Well, for all I knew, she would be gone in the morning, without a trace, so there was no point on overthinking this. 

 

I reached a strand of hair that got in her face and slowly pushed it aside, enjoying the movement to stroke her cheek. She was so beautiful, so peaceful in her sleep. I caught myself grinning like a fool at her sleepy innocence.. I didn’t want to fall asleep, I wanted to stay awake so I could carve her face into my brain, but gradually, the exhaustion took over me.

 

In the morning, when I woke up, the only sign of Gwen was the mess in the room and a crumpled note, with her phone number and the words:

 

_ This doesn’t mean anything. I may not even answer your call. _

_ Gx _

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“Where the hell did you go that night, man?” This was Adam’s version of ‘Hello’ on Monday morning, as we arrived at the set. 

 

“Uhm… I went home.” I answered, which was true.  _ Sort of. _

 

“But we had arrived like two minutes before…” Suddenly, he stopped and hit his hand over my chest. “Wait….  _ Nooooo....  _ Did you got laid?” That stupid smile on his face was unbelievable. I didn’t answer, only serving as confirmation. “How you dare not tell me? I’m seriously offended! Now you’ll tell me everything!”

 

“Fine, just… Let’s go to my trailer.. I don’t want everyone finding out.” I looked around to see if anyone was listening, but the compound was still kinda empty.

 

We got inside and I told Adam everything, since our first meeting on the liquor until her note, to which he hid his mouth with his right hand, completely blown away. I only left out her name and the fact that he’d met her on the club. 

 

“Damn! That girl is savage!” I laughed, because it was true. “And did you call the number?”

 

“Yeah, I did, and sent a couple texts. She didn’t answered it, though. I went to her apartment, but she wasn’t home either. The ball is pretty much on her hands now.” And it was an awful feeling. 

 

“So how do you feel? About everything?”

 

“The thing is, am I in this because of the chase, the mystery? Just because it’s fun and exciting not knowing basically anything about her? Or am I starting to feel something and I’m headed to an another spectacular heartbreak?” This was bugging me since saturday morning, and I needed someone like Adam to help me figure that out.

 

“Blake, you have this thing that is, at the same time, a blessing and a curse: you want to help everyone. That’s why you are such a good coach here, but that’s also why women keep playing you. Try not to jump on this head first. If she can do this with no feelings involved, you can do it too. Maybe it would be fun, a change of scenery, something to blow the steam off.”

 

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” I scratched my cheek, not entirely sure I could do that.

 

“The only bad thing about you leaving early is that you didn’t get to meet this designer that was with Bee’s friends… Smokin’ hot, just got here from Europe.” I realized he was talking about Gwen and I straightened my back, paying attention. “But when I mentioned that I worked as a coach on The Voice, she told me she would come here to meet Miley today.. So maybe I can introduce you to her.” 

 

_ Gwen was coming here _ ? I just couldn’t believe my luck. I try my best to be nonchalant and hide the fact that I was very much exited to see her again. Maybe sneak her into my trailer for a couple moments… The idea alone made my dick stir in my pants. “Yeah, parade the single loser around in front of every girl you meet, like cattle in an auction” I decided to hide my feelings with sarcasm. He let out a loud laugh, so it worked. 

 

We went out for a coffee in the cafeteria, and there she was, talking to Miley and some other people, closer to some garment rack filled with clothes, They seemed to be getting quite acquainted, and for the first time I saw her laugh without being drunk. She was dressed like she had just gotten out of my porn dreams, the perfect little executive full of attitude, with a silk cream top and a pink pencil skirt. Her hair was up in a tight bun and she was wearing glasses. Fucking glasses like a naughty school teacher. 

 

Adam saw me looking at her, shook his head and started laughing and making his way to them, gesturing me to keep up. 

 

“Hi, Gwen! So nice to see you again!” She turned at him, smiling because she must have had recognized the voice, but when she saw me behind Adam, she froze in place. It took her a couple of seconds to recompose. I grinned like a psycho. It was good to see that she was as much affected by me as I was by her. 

 

“Hi, Adam!” They greeted each other with a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Good running into you, I brought something for Behati. Can you take it to her?” She was avoiding me on purpose and I couldn’t stop smiling. I must be looking so idiot right now.

 

“Yeah, absolutely. Listen, I want you to meet Blake, aka the sasquatch.. He was there at the club but had to get out earlier.” With no options left, she had to turn her eyes to me. Despite knowing full well why I left the club, she looked at me showing no signs of previously knowing me. That woman belonged in Hollywood with an Oscar in her hands. As if someone could forget the mind-blowing orgasms I’ve given her just two days ago. 

 

_ She will be the death of me. _

 

“Nice to meet you, Blake. Sorry to have missed you on Friday” She effortlessly lied her face off, batting her lashes to me.  _ Alright, two can play this game.  _

 

“Nice to meet you too… Gwen, is it?” She nodded, a flash of shock by my acting going through her face. Gwen came to greet me with a kiss on the cheek too, and I took advantage at out position to kiss right on the corner of her lips without anyone else noticing it. I felt her shiver and she moved away. “Don’t be, though. I’m no fun on nightclubs… I rather be in more private, quiet places.” I stared right into her eyes, letting her know what I meant, catching her off guard.

 

Adam and Miley were both completely unaware of what was really happening. He started talking to her about some place in Italy he wanted to visit, asking her if it was really good as he thought it was, with Miley participating as well. I knew nothing about the subject, but I was having the time of my life watching her get all hot and bothered by my presence and my eyes glued to her. 

 

We stayed there chatting for about half an hour - me occasionally throwing a couple sentences just to mess with her head and have her looking my way - until the producers called Miley and Adam to run a couple of promo shots.

 

“Okay, he have to go.. Gwen, send me the pieces that we talked about, alright? I loved everything so far, L.A.M.B is totally me”, Miley said, saying her goodbyes. Gwen smiled, proud. ”I’m gonna wear that neon dress tonight. Rob here can set the details with your team.” Her stylist behind her nodded, going over to someone I assumed it was Gwen’s assistant. 

 

She and Adam had left, leaving me alone with Gwen. She rolled her eyes, exasperated when I turned at her, unable to wipe the smile off my face. “You keep running away from me, but God keeps bringing you my way, baby girl…” I said, with a low voice, almost a whisper, because we weren’t alone. She gave me the stink eye, looking so adorable when mad. 

 

“One billion people on this damn city and I keep bumping into you everywhere I go… You gotta be fucking kidding me.” She turned around to go through the garment rack, looking for something to distract her from me. 

 

I approached her back, smoothly, and whispered in her ear. “Why are you fighting this? I’m not asking you to marry me, just to have a little fun together…” She turned her head around, closing her eyes. “You know how much fun it can be.... If I recall it correctly, you were  _ screaming of fun  _ two nights ago…” She shivered and I felt like the luckiest son of a bitch. “I know you have my number, so.. If you want more of that, you’ll have to ask like a good girl I know you are.”

 

With that, I left for my trailer. Five minutes later, my phone buzzed.

 

_ “Fine. My place, ten o'clock tonight. Gx” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm enjoying writing this mysterious Gwen, she's turning out quite captivating for me. I promise to bring something more about her background next chapter. Hope you guys like it! Let me know what did you guys think of these ones!


	11. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super long chapters (for my standards, haha) full of Gwen information that I wrote listening to Heart Like Yours - Willamette Stone.

_ Damn you, stupid cowboy. _

 

Not only the son of a bitch was  _ everywhere _ , why did he have to be so charming? I was able to resist the urge to answer his texts and phone calls, and thankfully wasn’t home both times he went there, receiving only a quick note by my doorman. I drowned myself in work, spending the whole weekend at the office. That way, I could prevent going that dark place, where sadness and despair usually take over me. 

 

It was either that or Blake’s bed. And work didn’t have dangerous blue eyes.

 

But seeing him on set, standing so close and whispering things that he knew very well would drive me insane, were too much to handle. I didn’t last five minutes on that fight before giving up and sending him a text to meet me at my place.

 

After that The Voice meeting, me and my team went back to the office. We had two other conferences like that to prepare ourselves to, so we had no time to waste. But, as soon as I got to L.A.M.B’s headquarters, Sarah came after me.

 

“Sorry boss....I just wanted to check on you, since you left so quickly on Friday. Is everything okay?”

 

I went in my office, putting the folders I was carrying over my table and making a gesture for her to close the door after her. “Yeah, so sorry to bail on you guys like that.. I was having a lot of fun. Something came up and I had to go home, but please let me know next time you go out!”

 

“Totally! Last thing before I leave you be: Behati and some of the girls asked for your number.. Do you mind if I give it to them?”

 

“No, of course not! I’d love that! I need some girlfriends here ASAP”, she laughed..

 

“Perfect, they are a lot of fun. I used to be a model too, that’s why I know them, but I prefer this side of fashion...  Less pressure to look perfect, you know?”

 

“And you are very talented, so I think you made an excellent decision.” Sarah smiled at me, thanking for the compliment, and left the room. 

 

The day went by just like that, and when I realized, it was dark outside. I was about to go home when my phone buzzed.

 

_ Hey, girl! It’s Behati. Adam just handed me your gift. Thank you so much, I loved it! B. _

 

_ Hi! Happy to hear that! You’re welcome! Whenever you need something, just let me know. Gx _

 

I went home, let the doorman know that I was expecting someone by the name of Blake Shelton and he was authorized to come up, took a shower and was about to pour me some wine to wait for Blake when my phone rang. It was Todd.

 

“Hi sweetie… are you home yet?” Todd sounded serious. 

 

“Yeah, just got out of the shower. Is everything okay? Are mom and dad okay?” I was getting worried by the second.

 

“They are as fine as they can be… Listen, honey…. There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just gonna tell you all at once, okay? I’m here and I’ll not hang up until you’re fine.”

 

“Todd, you’re scaring me. Just tell me already.”

 

“Gavin woke up.”

 

Just like that, the air got sucked out of my lungs. Before I came to LA, they’d assured me that he was in a vegetative state, and the chances of him getting out of his coma were close to zero. I curved myself and sought support on the couch so I didn’t fall. I started shaking almost uncontrollably, and it took everything I had not to cry and scream. 

 

“Gwen… sis… are you there?”

 

I inhaled deeply and sat down, putting my head between my legs so the world could stop turning around me. “It’s a good thing.... Right? Now he can pay for what he did… right?” My voice was low and struggled, but managed to come out. I still could not believe that this monster had been able to come out alive when he took everything from me. Maybe it was a good thing that I was so far away… Otherwise I would probably kill him with my bare hands.

 

“The police already went to the hospital to take his testimony, and they already asked for his prison, but sis…. That’s not the worst part.”

 

“Oh my God, there’s more?” 

 

“I need you to be really strong for this one, alright?” I didn’t answer, preparing myself for the blow. 

 

_ What could possibly be worst than that _ ? 

 

“They found….. They found evidences that Gavin used drugs to knock King and Zums down.... So… Honey, I’m so sorry…. They asked to exhume their bodies to run further tests…”

 

I went numb. This was not happening. I was having a nightmare and I would wake up any second. My babies would be with me, happy, healthy and alive, safe in my arms. I would still be in Italy, living close to my family, and Gavin would be a distant shadow in our life. I would wake up any moment now, and none of this would be true.

 

Except that I wouldn’t. This was real life. 

 

My two beautiful children still got inside Gavin’s car on that day, only to end up inside a river with no chance of getting out, because their dad wanted to hurt me beyond repair after I filed for divorce. My amazing, loving young boys who were the sun in my life never got a chance of surviving, while this murderer, this… this… monster, managed to get out alive to hunt me down. How was this any fair? How two innocent kids had their lives taken away by the man that should be protecting them, while this same man was living and breathing?

 

I didn’t realized I was crying until I heard Todd from a distance, calling me back to Earth.

 

“Wh-when is this nightmare ending, Todd? I can’t... take this anymore.” I said, sobbing with despair. “Whenever I try to forget, when I try to move on with my life, he comes back to haunt me…”

 

“Sweetie, you have to hold onto your faith in this moment. Trust that everything happens for a reason and soon enough God will show you why you had to go through something unspeakable. If there’s any tiniest bit of comfort in all of this, if Gavin really drugged them… at least they went peacefully. At least they didn’t suffer.”

 

The image of them scared and crying for help had terrified me. I would wake up screaming in the middle of the night for someone to help them, to get my babies out of the water, but nobody would come. Nobody could save them. Not even myself. 

 

“Talk to me. How are you feeling?”

 

“Scared. Infuriated. Hopeless. I miss them so much.. They were the light of my life and now the world seems so washed down, so dark....”

 

“I miss them too. Everyone does. But he will pay, Gwen. He will rot in prison, and he will live a hundred years just so he can suffer.”

 

“I pray so. How did mom and dad take it?”

 

“I didn’t tell them much...  Dad’s heart is not the strongest.. They are sad and angry too, but I avoid bringing it up not to upset them.”

 

“Good, thanks, brother. What about Jen, with the baby and all, how is she?”

“I’m trying to shield her as well.. She is on the last trimester, any stress now can induce premature labor, and Gavin has made this family suffer enough already. He doesn’t get to do it anymore.”

 

All I could think it was my fault. I was the one that brought this man that into our life. Now he shattered everyone’s hearts and souls and we had to pick up the pieces ourselves. How could I have been so blind? How could I not see that coming? How I could do this to the people I loved the most?

 

Todd stayed on line with me for a couple moments more, but I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to cry, scream and destroy everything in my path. I wanted to make someone pay for this hole in my chest, this wound that never seemed to heal. I grabbed the piece of decor lying in my coffee table and threw it across the room. It smashed itself against the wall, scattering into a million pieces. I screamed from the bottom of my chest, releasing some of the sorrow inside me. I pulled my own hair, angry with me, angry with the world, angry with a God that let the two most beautiful boys die so he could teach me some twisted lesson.

 

Slowly, I calmed myself down, still crying from time to time. But the anger was not here anymore. It was just grief left. I had no strength to keep fighting the world. I went to the kitchen for some wine when I heard a knock on my door. 

 

_ Fuck.  _ With everything that had happened, I completely forgot Blake was coming. My hands went through my hair, trying to tame them, and I wiped the tears off my face, trying to not look as much as a mess. Trying not to look so broken.

 

I opened the door, gathering everything I had left to make up a smile in my face while I come up with an excuse to reschedule our encounter. Apparently, I didn’t do a very good job, because his smile completely fade away when he looked at me. 

 

“Gwen, what happened?” His surprise was replaced with concern, something so genuine and honest that almost broke the dam of tears all over again.

 

“I’m so sorry… Can we do this another time? Something came up and I’m no-”

 

He interrupted me. “I’m absolutely not leaving you alone like this. Are you crazy? You don’t have any friends or family here, and you look completely beaten down. Please let me in.” Blake pleaded, sounding worried and slightly angry. I wanted to be alone, to dwell in my sorrow, but he seemed pretty determined. I tried objecting, but he raised a hand to shut me down. “Look. If you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that made you so upset, that’s fine. We can be in silence together. We can drink and eat and whatever. If you don’t even want to let me in, that’s fine. I’ll sit right here on this cold hard floor of your hall It looks rather comfortable.” He smiled, and his joke worked. A ghost of a smile appeared on my lips, and I gave him passage into my apartment. 

 

Blake had wine and vodka on a bag, and takeout on another. He put everything over the kitchen stand, unpacking everything so I could see what he had brought.

 

“Okay, so we have wine for you, vodka for me, and Mexican for both of us. I didn’t know if you liked Mexican, but if you don’t we can order something else.” He was trying so hard to lighten me up that I couldn’t help but stare at him, flashing those dimples and being a perfect gentleman. He noticed, giving me a questioning look. 

 

“Why are you doing all this? You don’t have to stay.. In fact, you can have whatever girl you want, I’m sure… You don’t have to endure this mess standing in front of you.”

 

He dropped his hands, taking a deep breath before answering me. “Nobody should be alone in the state you’re in. I don’t know what happened, but for someone that makes such an effort to look tough and cold, being so broken must have a hell of a reason.” He stopped to see my reaction. “I know you are doing everything in your power to stay away from me, but you don’t have to. I’m here, hell or high water.”

 

“But why? I don’t know me.”

 

“Because I want to. I like you, Gwen. I like us together. You can’t deny this thing between us. I want to know more about you. There, I said it. What are you gonna do about that?”

 

_ What was I going to do about that? _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That chapter woke me up at 4 in the morning because I kept thinking about it.. So I got up and wrote it down, haha
> 
> Hope you guys like it!


	12. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one was written as I was listening to Say You Love Me - Jessie Ware (amazing song to set the mood to this chapter, so, if you can, please listen to it as you read it :D)

_I like you, Gwen. There, I said it._

 

So much for leaving my heart out of this, huh? Adam will be so proud. But the moment Gwen opened the door, looking so hopeless, I knew I was gone. I wanted to punch and kill the responsible for making her that way, and hold her in my arms until she was fine again. If I had to break every brick on those damn walls she keeps putting up, so be it. I’ll be a freaking sledgehammer.

 

She didn’t answer right away, but looked down, resigned, and stopped resisting. Well, it was a step forward. “I love Mexican. Thank you.” On a Gwen-scale, this meant almost like an “I love you”. I nodded, grinning at my victory. She poured her wine and got a glass for my vodka, taking our food to the living room.

 

We ate in silence, as I decided not to push her to open up to me. She was sitting on the couch, pensive, probably trying to decide if she could trust me or not. I was sitting beside her, but on the floor., where I had more room for my tall figure.

 

“I’m sorry.” She began, and I put my plate down on the coffee table so I could look at her. She was playing with her food using her fork, not looking at me. “I’m.. I got some bad news and… It wasn’t fair to latch on you like that.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. You can break on me every time you need. I meant when I said I was here for you.” She put her plate aside and passed her hands through her hair looking frustrated.  I put one hand on her leg, trying to get her attention. “Look, I know we started as this crazy one time thing, but it doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. I can be a friend. I’ve been told I’m very good at that to, among other things…” I let out a naughty smirk, successfully making her laugh. My country charm came to the rescue.

 

“Have you ever been told ‘no’ in your life, having those damn cute dimples?”

 

“Not that I recall, no.” I flashed them again, and she shook her head, laughing. “I propose a little game. I want to know more about you, but we can start small. I tell you something about me, and you tell me something equally important, okay?” She looked at me with a doubted expression, but agreed anyway.  “I’ll start. I’m 38 years old and I was born in Ada, Oklahoma.”

 

“I’m 45 and I was born in Fullerton, California.”

 

 _45_??? She didn’t look a day past 30, but alright. I continued. “My favorite food is steak and drink is vodka with lime soda.

 

“Wine and pasta for me. I don’t eat meat that much.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, not sure why… I just don’t like it.”

 

“I’ll cook you my favorite recipe of butter and garlic steak, Mama Shelton’s special, and you’ll be licking your fingers asking for more.” I recreated the movement as I said it, and she threw her head back laughing. “Next one, let me see.. Mom and dad divorced, mom living in Oklahoma still, married again, dad passed away a couple years ago.”

 

“Mom and dad both alive, married to each other since high school, living in Italy.”

 

“One older brother, deceased, one little sister.”

 

“Three siblings. I’m the second oldest.”

 

“Married two times, now divorced, no kids.” She went mute. Her eyes widened and she looked as she was about to cry, pale as a piece of paper. “I’m sorry, did I say something that upset you?” Her reaction freaked the hell out of me, and I went up to sit next to her. This was going too well.

 

She didn’t answer or say anything, just stood there, mute. It looked like ages before she spilled it out, all at once.

 

“Divorced, with two dead kids.”

 

_Mind. Blown._

 

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but for certainly it wasn’t anything like this. _How does someone react at that?_ She wasn’t looking at me. It took me a moment before I carefully say. “Okay… Do you want to talk about this?”

 

She looked down, but I could see tears falling down her lap. “I had two beautiful sons, Kingston, 8 years old, and Zuma, 6. Their father didn’t take the divorce well, and got violent towards us. I filled for a restraining order and full custody of them, but he asked the judge to see them one more time. He was granted it, but instead of saying goodbye, he put them inside a car and jumped off a bridge.” She stopped to swallow and recompose, and I couldn’t move at all. I was still in shock. “Gavin, my former husband, was in a coma until now, but today, he woke up. That’s the news I got just before you arrived.”

 

I remembered the way my mom had gotten when Richie, my older brother, died in a car accident. Her screams were something I would never ever forget. She was desperate, refusing to believe that her oldest wasn’t alive anymore. She kept his room the way he’d left it for years. But she still had me and my sister, that’s what slowly got her back on her feet.

 

I could not even begin to think what was like to lose both children in such a horrific way. Suddenly, it became crystal clear why she acted that way, pushing me away and acting all tough. In fact, I grew a bigger admiration and respect for her, because I’m not sure how can someone survive something like this.

 

Before I could, respond, she continued. “I came to LA because I was losing my mind, suffocating in all the memories of them. I don’t expect you to comfort me or say you understand. In fact, I don’t want you to. That’s why I wanted something to distract me. That’s why I didn’t want to see you again, because it would lead here.”

 

In that moment, I realized that the best way I could help her was be this boy toy for her, this light and fun booty call so she could slowly pick herself up again. So she could cope.. A relationship she could control, when nothing else in her life was certain anymore. If the only way I could be useful was like this, if it meant giving her something to take her mind out of this awful tragedy that was her life, I would gladly do so. 

 

I just had to figure how to shield my heart, and fast, because I didn’t seem to have much time left before I fall in love with this woman.

 

“Okay. I can do this.” She looked at me, confuse. “I can do this no-strings-attached kinda guy. If that’s what you need, then you have it.”

 

I didn’t let her answer. My lips arrived on hers, not asking for permission. She quickly gave in, going for my hair as my hands travelled on her body, as if they could glue her back together.. I picked her up and took her to her bedroom, caressing her back as we continue to kiss the air out of each other.

 

That night, I made her feel wanted, desired, cherished. I kissed every inch of her skin, hoping that would somehow help her go through the worst time in her life. My problems, my drinking, my nasty divorce.. All seemed so futile and shallow compared to that. I was lucky to have that, compared to what she was living.

 

I made her feel in control, and she took everything from me. We kissed and fucked until our limbs gave out. And, as much as it pained me, I left her house before she woke up.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so eager to post it that I didn't even edited this chapter. So if you find any mistakes, please overlook them xD
> 
> What did you think? I'm so anxious to hear your thoughts, please don't leave me hanging!!


	13. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ohhhh I'm so excited for these ones!!! I'm overwhelmed by the love, guys. I keep making a happy dance with every comment, so pleease keep going! I'm ecstatic to see so many people from different countries, even fellow brazilians! That's so cool! Please let me know what country are you guys from :D
> 
>  
> 
> This one is inspired by Dangerously - Charlie Puth

_I am in so much trouble._

 

Why did I agree to this? Of course this is not going to work. One of us is going to end up with their heart broken beyond repair. Let’s be honest, probably him. He will curse me and tell me to go fuck myself, and another good thing in my life will be gone for good. Me and my chaotic life were no good news, leaving a trail of destruction wherever we went.

 

Still… I was on my way to his house right after work. On a Friday night. Oh, Gwen, you never learn.

 

He was awaiting for me by the door, dressed with a plaid blue shirt, black jeans and a ball cap backwards. With his short beard and boyish grin, he looked young and careless. And so damn tasty.

 

“I had only 80% sure that you were going to come, you know? I had to wait and see with my own eyes”, he greeted me when I got closer, kissing me just enough to keep me wanting more. He backed away, pulling my hand. “Come on, I’m making us dinner.”

 

Yeah, this _no-strings-attached_ was going really well _._

 

“Blake… This is not what we agreed.” I said, when we got to the kitchen. It really looked like a date. He turned around, with a dish cloth in his hands. The smell was amazing, though. I sat at the kitchen stool as he made his way to the stove.

 

“What? Don’t you eat? You’re just here to fuck me and leave, then?” I know he intended to be pissed, by his country twang made it sound so funny that I couldn’t help it but laugh. “Shut up, woman. I can’t keep screwing a bag of bones like yourself, so I’m going to put some meat in you, okay?” He’d embraced the joke, gesturing my way with his finger pointed like some sort of diva.

 

“I am NOT a bag of bones!” I answered, pretending to be shocked but failing miserably, because I couldn’t stop laughing. “You are just so giant that I look smaller by comparison!”

 

He stopped and gasped, really acting offended, putting his hand over his chest. “OH. MY. GOD. I can’t believe this! Are you calling me fat?” I lost it, laughing so hard that my belly hurt. Tears of laughter came down my cheek and I lost a good minute trying to catch my breath. He laughed too, that delicious big laugh that made him threw his head back.

 

“Fine, fine, you won. What are you making us?”

 

He turned his back at me, stirring some pot and turning the heat off. “I’m making that steak I told you about, and some pasta too, in case you didn’t like the meat.”

 

“Wow, I didn’t know you really cooked.”

 

“I may have called my mom to ask a few questions… Or beg her to fly out here to make it for us..” He turned around to face me, bringing two pans with him. “Just kidding. I just asked her to teach me over the phone. It was easier than I remembered. Shall we eat?”

 

“Yes, please. Lead the way.”

 

As it turns out, Blake was an excellent cook. The food was amazing. I even enjoyed the steak, imagine that. I couldn’t remember the like time I ate red meat. We stayed at the table and chatted for quite some time, sipping wine. Yes, it really looked like a date, but it didn’t bother me in the end.

 

It was way past 11 o’clock when we got up. I helped him loading the dishwasher and we got to the living room, where he put some music on. He turned at me, staring right into my eyes.

 

“So…” He started.

 

“So... “ _Wow, I was really bad at this_. “Thank you for tonight. The food was delicious.”

 

He got closer, holding my waist. “Anytime.”

 

“And the company was lovely.” He kissed my neck and I closed my eyes. “The wine was-” I didn’t get to finish, because his mouth took over mine. I opened my lips, giving him access, and my hands flew to his hair, tossing the ball cap across the room. My fingers intertwined his soft curls, and he let out a low moan.

 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, scaring us both. We jumped apart, kinda out of breath. “Sorry, I’ll get this and kill the bastard that dared to come over at this ungodly hour.” He went to the door and I tried to disguise myself into the dark, but listening closely.

 

“Adam? What the hell are you doing here?”.

 

“ _Sasquatch! I’m calling your phone for ages. Since you’re not picking up and I was worried about you, I came by to check with everything was okay.”_ Was it Adam Levine? Were they close friends? Apparently, yes.

 

“Thanks, but you didn’t have to.” Blake was holding the door, preventing Adam from looking inside. “Well, you saw me, now get the fuck out.”

 

_“Hey, since I’m here and Bee’s in London for work, how about we go out? We could hit the bar, or with you want there is this new-”_

 

Blake cut him out. “Adam. I’m not alone.”

 

Adam didn’t disguise his surprise. _“Wow! Nice. Is that girl from the club? The one you told me about?”_ Did he knew about me?

 

“Yes.. Now get out, you’re cockblocking me.” Blake sounded irritated. Adam laughed.

 

 _“Okay, I’ll leave you two_ lovebirds _be. Call me tomorrow.”_

 

With that, Adam left and Blake closed the door, returning to me. “I’m so sorry about that. He can be a pain in the ass sometimes.” We sat on the couch, facing each other.

 

“I didn’t know you guys were close.”

 

“Yeah, he’s a really good friend. One of my best.” He reached a strand of hair and put it behind my ear.  

 

“He really worries about you, to come down here like that.”

 

“Uhm, yes. Let’s just say that, if it wasn’t for him, I would probably have had drank myself to death.”

 

“Wow! Why?” It took me by surprise. Blake didn’t seem the depressive type.

 

“I caught my ex-wife cheating on me and filed for divorce. I hit rock bottom, lost weight like crazy, because I was only interested in drinking. Adam really helped me get back on my feet. I owe that man my life.” Well, I wasn’t the only one with a crappy life, after all. “Are we done with the interrogation? Can we get back to what we were doing, please?” He bent down to kiss me, cupping my face with both hands.

 

Slowly, he put me down on his couch, as the air around us got hotter. His hands got under my thighs, lifting them up so he could have better access to my center. I gasped and moaned as his right hand got under my dress and over my panties. He lowered himself down and took my underwear with him.

 

“It’s unreal how addicted I am to you, Gwen… I’ve been craving your taste all week, dying to have you under me again.” Before I could answer, he spread my legs and took all he wanted from me. A high pitch came out of me and I was ready to spontaneously combust with a simple touch from him. He continued biting my clit and inserted two fingers inside me, and just like that, I exploded, tugging his hair to anchor me to Earth.

 

How could I tell him I felt the same thing? How to explain that I touched myself in my bathtub thinking about him almost every single night we were apart? I had no words to describe how my stomach always got tighter with anticipation whenever he rolled me down, going inside me from behind in one single thrust like he was doing right now. He completely took my mind over, those piercing blue eyes appearing in every single dream I had.

 

It was a dangerous game we were playing, thinking that we could fool our own hearts.

 

I was getting used to his scent, which always reminded me of a rainy day in the woods, so fresh and manly. I was getting used to feel his hands pulling me closer, leaving marks right after just because he was always so urgent for contact. I needed to hear him whispering dirty little things in my ear, like how _hot I was in that position,_ or how _I didn’t even know how beautiful I was right now, so lost in pleasure like that._ Those things always strike a chord in me, bringing me just about the edge of the cliff.

 

But it was his eyes, open and staring right into my soul every time we reached climax face to face, that terrified and amazed me. We could not lie in those moments, not even to ourselves. On those seconds, we wore our heart in our sleeve and the truth was scary as hell.

 

_No-strings-attached my ass._

 


	14. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the long awaited (and asked) jealous scene! I wrote the first half listening to Unkiss Me - Maroon 5 and the last one to Suffer - Charlie Puth.
> 
> I'm writing this on Google Drive and just reached my 50th page! I have never written so much in English! I didn't even know I could do it :O 
> 
> So thank you so much for letting me practice with you guys <3

_Well, there was no point in denying: I was very much in love with this woman._

 

How dumb you have to be to offer yourself as boy toy to someone you love, just because that was the only way you could get near her? Not my brightest idea, I have to admit. But it was working. Each time we got together she would laugh more, share more about herself, tell me about her day. It almost felt normal, listening to her stories with my arms wrapped around her, still naked and glowing with that post-sex glow.

 

Talking about sex… _Holy fucking shit._ I honestly thought that eventually our hunger for each other would tone it down, and we’d become more patient and sweet together, but no. We were still be as starving as day one. One week I had to go to Nashville for some meetings and when I came back, she didn’t even say hello: went straight to the floor to suck my dick.

 

But one thing still bugged me: she never stayed the night. Whenever we were at her house, she would come up with an excuse so I didn’t sleep there too. It made me feel… _cheap,_ you know? To make matters worse, I could tell she wanted me close, but refused to give in.

 

“Blake, don’t make a scene about this. You said yourself that this thing between us was ‘no-strings-attached’, remember? Why are you acting so sour now?” She snapped, putting her clothes back on to leave my place. I got up, angry, and put my boxers too.

 

“Yeah, but I’m not a hooker in some cheap motel! ‘No-strings-attached’ doesn’t mean ‘fuck-and-get-out’, Gwen. We can be friends with benefits, if you’d like. We can talk, spend time together…” I tried to reason with her, because I wasn’t ready to let her go. “C’mon, stay. Please.”

 

I touched her arm with my fingertips, just a feather of a touch. She closed her eyes, trying to put her thoughts in order. But, sadly, when she opened them, her decision was made.

 

“Sorry, I think I’ll better go.”

 

“Gwen, stop fighting this!” I was really mad now. “Let me in, I can’t help you if you keep putting up walls on me! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with leaning in on me, I’m not asking you in marriage!”

 

“ _Help me_ ?” Oh, Lord have mercy. She understood it completely wrong. “This is some charity case to you? Some ‘let’s help the poor little broken girl’ so you can feel good about yourself and get laid in the process?” Wow, she was mad. If her eyes were shotguns, I would have more holes than a strainer by now. I tried to explain, but she didn’t let me speak, pointing her finger in my chest. “ _I. Don’t. Need. Your. Fucking. Help._ You don’t need to put your superhero cape, you idiot. _”_

 

She got her things and got out of my house, closing the door with a loud stomp.

 

_Oh, fuck._

  
Needless to say that she didn’t answer my calls or texts the whole week.. Thank God I had the Voice Finale to focus on, but my mood was terrible. No one could stand be near me, and I preferred that way.

 

_I just missed her so much._

 

Maybe she was right, maybe I was too clingy, pushing too much too fast. But my gut wasn’t wrong about this: she wanted it too. She wanted the closeness, but she was scared. And now she had run away.

 

Adam knocked on my trailer door, asking to come in and pulling me out of my thoughts.

 

“So, last one today! Are you excited?”

 

“Ready for it to be over so I can run to my ranch, for sure.”

 

“Wow, why are you so moody? Something happened?” He sat by my side on the couch. “Is it something with that girl you are seeing?”

 

“Yeah, basically. She gave me the boot. I’m just bummed, that’s all. I need to get away from LA for a while.”

 

“Sorry to hear that, man. But hey, cheer up! There’s the Voice Party right after the Finale tomorrow, so we can blow off some steam.” I scoffed. The last thing I wanted was to go to some party. “Maybe Miley or Behati can call that designer you met here a couple weeks ago, Gwen…. We saw how you guys looked at each other…” He gave me a naughty smile. Little did he know that she was the devil that was screwing with my head.

 

But maybe this was a good thing. Maybe we could talk on the party and set things straight again. I just had to play it cool for him.

 

“Yeah, whatever.”

 

“Sweet, I’ll call Bee and ask her to invite Gwen for tomorrow.”

 

I had my doubts that she was coming, because she probably knew that I was going to be there, but Behati could be pretty charming too, so I just had to wait and see.

 

The next day, I caught myself being nervous about the possibility of seeing her again. I didn’t have the gut to ask Adam, so I had to suffer in misery until lated tonight. I dressed myself _extra charming_ just in case, with deep blue suit and jeans. I even left my beard because she liked it. Talk about whipped, huh?

 

But my care had paid off, because when I got to the party, she was already there, talking to Behati and Adam. And just when I didn’t think she could be any hotter, she comes out in a fucking red dress.

 

She noticed me before anyone else, becoming stiff and straightening her back, looking the other way. Good, she wasn’t indifferent to me, just like I predicted. I went over the group and greeted everyone with a small kiss on the cheek, but taking an extra second hith her.

 

“Hi, Bee, you look lovely as always.” Turning to Gwen, I said. “Nice to see you again, Gwen.” She nodded, the sexual tension between us building up. Even Behati and Adam noticed it, coming up with some lame excuse to leave us alone.

 

“So.. I didn’t think you’d come, giving that you’ve been avoiding me.” I started.

 

“You know Behati… She’s been nagging me all week.” Straight up lie, because Adam only asked yesterday for Bee to call her. I smiled, catching her with her pants on fire. “This doesn’t mean anything, tough. I’m just here because she asked me to.” She snapped her hair back, acting all nonchalant and failing miserably.

 

“Oh, sure, sure…” I kept giving her more rope for her to tangle herself in. “Well, since we are both here, can we talk about us?”

 

“There’s no us, Blake. We are nothing.” _How dare her_? “It was turning into something so much bigger than I could handle, so it’s better if we keep our distance, you know? I don’t want you sucked into my mess.”

 

Oh, she wanted war? She would have a fucking Pearl Harbor headed her way.

 

How dare her put her little red dress and come all the way into _my_ territory just to shut me down like that? She wanted this as much as I did, it was written all over her face. Gwen kept staring at me, trying to read my mind, probably expecting me to beg her. I did the complete opposite.

 

“Cool… So I’ll leave you be and I’m not gonna bother you any longer.” I said, my words dripping honey, trying to be as charming as possible to disguise my complete exasperation. “Have a nice party, darlin.”

 

Then I walked away, leaving a very surprised Gwen behind me.

 

I stopped by the bar, asking for a double whiskey, neat. Not long after that, I felt tiny hands over my back. I thought it was Gwen, maybe regretting, but when I turned around, it wasn’t. It was Jennifer, one of the hairdressers..

 

“Hi, Blake… You alone?” _Perfect. She was all over me._

 

“Yeah, just me and my whiskey. Care to join?” I invited, flashing my dimples, and she completely melted. That was easy.

 

We spent some time chatting,  but I wasn’t paying any attention at all. Part of me felt bad to be playing this innocent girl, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret it, or stop. Specially when Gwen saw us really close by the corner. Her face turned as red as her dress with anger, and I knew she wasn’t immune to some jealousy.

 

_Target acquired._

 

“Hey, Jen… How do you feel about dancing?”

 

“Uhm, sure! I didn’t know you could dance!”

 

“Well, I can fake it pretty well.” I displayed the ‘wink-and-dimples’ combo and she let out a high pitched laugh, touching my arm. Gwen almost combusted in her place. “C’mon honey, let’s hit the dance floor.”

 

We got there, and it was crowded. I thought nobody would notice me among all the dancers, because I didn’t want this to leak to the press, but I could feel a pair of chocolate brown eyes glued on my every move.

 

Gwen was standing next to Behati, but she wasn’t paying any attention to her friend. Bee realized it too, looked at the direction Gwen was looking, saw the scene and nudged Adam, who turned at me too with a “wtf?’ face. I shrugged my shoulders and turned my head to Jennifer, ignoring them.

 

I stood pretty close to Jennifer while she danced and rubbed herself on me. She was pretty cute too, so why the hell not? Gwen said herself she didn’t want me anymore. So I pulled Jennifer closer and kissed her. Jen launched herself at me, a little too eager for my taste, but it would serve me well..

 

When I turned around again, Gwen was nowhere to be found.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you guys think? I hope it showed that, even though Blake didn't like playing other girls, he was so pissed at Gwen that it didn't matter at the moment. 
> 
> One last thing, the next chapter is already written! And it's SOOOOO GOOD!! I'm really excited for you guys to read it! If you ask me nicely in the comments, I may update later today *evil laughter* :D


	15. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO!!
> 
> Since so many of you wanted to read this as soon as possible, here it comes! I'm really proud of that one <3
> 
> Music by Lights Down Low - MAX and Silhouette - Aquilo. 
> 
> If you use Spotify, here's the link for my playlist! 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/12146200518/playlist/2Njaf1KXWD0bmMyd9iiBaP

_Well, what do you know.... The fool with a broken heart wasn’t Blake. It was me._

 

Why did I go to that stupid party? I wanted so badly to see him, but I chickened out when I actually saw him in front of me, telling him he didn’t really matter to me that much. If he believed it or not, I don’t know, but as sure as hell made me pay for my idiotic mouth.

 

Seeing with that girl all over him, kissing him the way I should be kissing him, getting to see those dimples in a way that only I should be seeing. It was too much to me. I had to get out of there. _What was I thinking?_ He didn’t belong to me, I had no right to be mad at him, because I was the one the let him go.

 

Still, I was pissed. I got home and threw my shoe across the room, angry at myself.. I changed clothes and sat in front of the tv, trying to distract myself from the fact that Blake probably was having sex with her right now. Just imagining them together, him making her feel the same things he made me feel, him in bed with her, fucking her and whispering those sweet, dirty things at her ear, eating her pussy so well like he did with me…

 

No, I couldn’t let that happen. I had to stop that. If he hated me, whatever. I was going to his house.

 

… And he wasn’t home yet. _Perfect._ 2 o’clock in the morning and he wasn’t home. I kicked his door, infuriated. Now I was alone in the middle of the night, while he was probably over the slut’s house making her scream with pleasure.

 

Just I was walking away, I heard a car getting near.

 

“Gwen?” He got out of the car. Alone. She wasn’t there with him. “What are you doing here?”

 

I marched over him, furious. “Where is she, huh? Where is that little whore jumping all over you?”

 

He turned his back at me, going inside.”You mean Jennifer? I left her at her place.” He replied, shrugging his shoulders. I followed him in, outraged.

 

“Oh, so you were there with her? Did you go inside?” I stood in front of him, keeping him from running away.

 

“What do you care if I did? You told me we were done. That we were _nothing._ Your words, not mine.”

 

I got closer and put my hands on his neck, pulling him to me and looking right into his eyes. “So, did you fuck her?” He didn’t answer. I kissed his neck, biting and leaving a mark. He didn’t smell like her, so that’s a good sign. His scent was a mix of woods, rain and soap. Totally Blake. He moaned lowly at my assault. “Did she went down on you?” I started kissing his chest, taking his suit jacket off and throwing it out. He closed his eyes but still no reply. “Did she do that thing with her teeth that only I know that you like?” I pulled his head down again and went over his ear, licking it just to feel him shiver. It worked. I whispered at his earlobe. “Did she cum screaming your name?”

 

He couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed me to the wall, lifting me up and kissing me like I was the last drop of water in the desert. I circled his waist with my legs, feeling his erection right in front of my pussy. He moved his head away from me so he could look into my eyes. “Of course not. How could I sleep with her if I only had you in my head?” I kissed him again, biting his lower lip and rolling my hip, driving him nuts. “I’m completely crazy about you, Gwen. I kissed her but I all could taste was you.” He held me under my ass, walking towards his bedroom. My core could burn a hole in his pants with the heat. I pulled his hair tighter just so I could hear him groan.

 

We fell on his bed, unable to break the kiss, while I unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside. He grabbed the hem of my shirt it took it over, only stopping the kiss to get it out over my head. His hands were everywhere feeling me up, ripping my bra off with an eagerness that I’ve never seen.

 

“How can you be so blind? How can you not see?” He whispered so low over my breasts I could barely hear it. He went lower, leaving a trail of kisses that drove me insane. “You have me on a leash, darlin.... I could easily catch a grenade for you…. And die smiling.”

 

I couldn’t wrap my head around of what those words meant, because he was taking my pants and underwear off all at once, spreading my legs and inserting two fingers on me in one single move.

 

“Fuck, Blake.. Oh my God…”

 

“There’s no one else for me, Gwen…” I was barely listening as he picked up speed fucking me with his fingers. “Not since you looked my way for the first time on that liquor store....” He sucked my clit the way he knew it would send me over the edge and all I could do was grab the sheets and hold on for dear life.

 

After my heart calmed down, I helped him unzip his pants and take them out. I needed to feel him, feel his erection to know that it was my effect on him. I needed to have him as maniac for me as I was for him, so I started giving him a handjob. He immediately curved himself over me, putting his hands both my sides for support.

 

“Gwen…”

 

“Shhh, let me do it. I want to taste you so bad.” Before he could stop me, I put him in my mouth, and he let out a loud gasp. I went for it, giving him no mercy, throwing teeth and gentle pulls on his balls in the mix. I could taste the pre-cum already, and his veins were popping out, as he did everything in his power to last longer. But It took one look in his eyes, with his dick in my mouth, for him to release himself. I swallowed everything he had to offer, and he immediately pulled me up to kiss me, feeling his taste still on my mouth. It was so hot, so filthy…

 

He threw me to the bed, going over me and kissing every inch of my skin. I tugged his hair up, impatient to get him inside me already. Blake smiled at me, understanding what I wanted and giving it to me.

 

I arched my back and he hugged me tight. It amazed me how we sensed each other’s needs already, without the need of words. I scratched his back, urging him to go faster, and again, he read me like a book.

 

“You see this?” He looked through my eyes, locking me in place. “I know you like the back of my hand. I know what you need. I dare you to find someone that makes you feel this good.” I wanted to look away, because his honesty was overwhelming, but he didn’t let me. “No, tonight you’ll cum looking at me, I want to see your eyes going foggy as you get lost.” He reached for my clit with his thumb, holding my jaw with the other hand. “I want you to remember this night next time you think about running away from me. From us. Because now you can’t deny you feel the same way about me.” He rode me harder and all I could do was look at his eyes. My sight went white and his name left my lips like a prayer.

 

I didn’t know him for more than two months, but in that short amount of time he became a vital part of me. Whether I liked it or not, Blake had sneaked inside my heart, occupying all the spaces he could get his hands on. I was still very much shattered, and for sure he was going to cut himself badly trying to pick up my pieces, but the decision was made.

 

I tried so hard to tell myself that I could do this alone, that I didn’t need him, but who was I kidding? I was not that person. I was not the type that could jump from bed to bed without leaving a piece of herself every way she went.

 

The truth is, without even realizing, having his shoulder to lean on made every difference in the world. I was wrong. I was not some charity case for him. He gladly put his heart on the line so I could rebuild mine and asked for nothing more than what I was giving. Even if that meant crushing his feelings. Who does that? Who surrenders himself so selflessly like that?

 

I didn’t want to look away anymore. When he reached his climax, I was 100% in the moment, hoping that he could read my feelings written all over my face.

 

_I couldn’t stop loving this man anymore than I couldn’t stop breathing._

 

After our breath slowed down and we stood next to each other, lying on the bed facing each other without breaking eye contact, he said: “This is the last time I’m asking. Are you gonna stay the night?”

 

And I answered yes.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super long and hot sex scene, yay! What did you guys think of jealous Gwen? haha


	16. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a filler chapter, but still good (I think)
> 
> Music by Die a Happy Man - Thomas Rhett and, of course, One Night Girl - Blake Shelton.

_She stayed._

 

I almost couldn’t believe it when I woke up and she was still here, laying with her head over my chest, carefully wrapped inside my arms. It looks like my body didn’t completely trust her, so it secured her pretty close to keep her from leaving. Her golden hair all over my chest and shoulder was the first thing I saw, and the sight of her still asleep - looking peaceful and _happy_ \- by the morning light was enough to make my heart race.

 

Last night was an eye opener for both of us. She had to see me with somebody else, had to think that she was losing me, so she could realize that she didn’t want me with no-strings-attached. I just had to pretend to be interested in another woman. The key-word here being ‘pretend’, because I was so hooked on her it was ridiculous.

 

I felt bad for using Jennifer like that, like the well-raised country boy I was, so I offered her a ride home and apologized profusely, saying that I crossed the line, completely disregarding her feelings. I used my divorce as an excuse, and she understood. She said she was still lucky to be kissed by me in front of all her friends. So that was a win-win situation, I guess.

 

But, although it was pretty mean, it worked like a charm. Because when I got home, there Gwen was, pissed and horny at the same time. _Will I ever forget how hot jealous Gwen was_ ? The answer is _never_. The memory alone made my cock twitch.

 

She stirred in my arms, slowly waking up. How could someone be so beautiful just waking up after a night of rough sex? She looked up at me, smiling shyly. “Good morning, baby girl”, her smile grew wider. She liked my accent, usually thicker by morning. “Sleep okay?”

 

“Yes”, she stretched her arms, her voice raspy from last night’s screams. A flash of that crossed my mind and I beamed like a moron. Gwen turned around to stare at me, her hands pulling her hair out of her face. “So… are you tired of me already? Waking up next to me already killed the magic?”

 

Oh, darlin _. If you only knew._ I smiled naughtily, and, instead of answering, I decided to show her.

 

\---------------------

 

We needed a good part of an hour to be able to get out of bed, and we only did it because she ran away from me, laughing and locking herself on the bathroom because she needed to work. While she took a shower, I went downstairs to make us some coffee and breakfast. At the same time she came down, my phone buzzed with a email.

 

It was my label, reminding me of some meeting and recording time down in Nashville, now that The Voice was over. I frowned. It was almost a week, and right after that I had some concerts booked.

 

Gwen came closer to get some coffee and noticed it. “Something wrong?”

 

This thing between us was new, like _since last night_ new. But even before we became sort of official, I had never been away from her more than three days. I looked at her expectant eyes, waiting for my answer, and had an idea. I took a deep breath, preparing myself in case she would hate it, but hopeful that she would say yes.

 

“Alright, I have something to ask you, but I don’t want to freak you out or pressure you, okay? You can totally say no.”

 

“Okay...?” She nodded, confused.

 

“I have to be in Nashville by next week, and after that I have some concerts all over the country… It will mean more than 10 days away from each other…. So I was thinking.. If you job allows you…”

 

“I could come with you?” She completed it, showing no reaction whatsoever. Was she mad? Was she happy? Only God knows. “What days of the month?”

 

“Uhm...September 23rd through October 3rd.”

 

She thought about it for a second before answering. “I’ll just have to adjust some details, but most of the work I can do while there. Where are your concerts?”

 

She was really coming? I smiled like a boy on Christmas morning.

 

“Ohio on the 30th, Virginia on the 1st and New Jersey on the 2nd. Are you serious about going?”

 

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. I’ve been working nonstop since I got here, weekends and all. I could even stop by New York City, since I’ll be near, and book some meetings there.” Then, she smiled mysteriously at me. “And we can celebrate my birthday.”

 

“Your birthday? Seriously? When is it?”

 

“On the 3rd.”

 

“Wow, that builds up the pressure…. I’m having second thoughts about that trip…” I joked and she playfully punched my arm. “Ouch! Alright, you can come.” I leaned in to kiss her, just a peck on her lips. When I got back and opened my eyes, she was smiling. “What is it?”

 

“Something about that now just felt so…”

 

“Weird?”

 

“Normal.”

 

\-------------

 

With her at work and the Voice tapings over, I was pretty much by myself. So I did something that I hadn’t done in months: I picked up my guitar to write a song. Thirty minutes later, I had a whole lyric and was playing with some melodies when Adam called.

 

“ _Hey moron.... I called you to see if would be interrupting anything if I stopped by your house like in the next 15 minutes.”_

 

I laughed. “No, you’ll be fine. C’mon.”

 

I greeted him by the door when I appeared, and someone from a mile away could see my smile.

 

“Wow, someone woke up on the right side of bed today! No sign of Moody Shelton, huh?”.

 

“Not anymore, man… Thank God.”

 

“Was it Jennifer? Because I saw you two together last night.”

 

“No… It was Gwen.”

 

Adam jumped this high when he heard, and I laughed so hard. “WHAT?!? But you were with-… I mean…. How? What?”

 

“Okay, ready? Gwen was the blonde I told you about, from the liquor store. I had met her before you did. We’ve been going back and forth for some time.. Remember when I said I had a fight with the girl I was seeing? It was her. But when she saw me with Jennifer, she flipped.”

 

Adam’s jaw was touching the floor. “You dog! And you let me introduce you to her and acted like you two didn’t know each other!”

 

“Sorry about that”, I said, scratching my head. “We were on weird terms. But is all good now, she will even go with me to Nash next week.”

 

“Really? Cool! I’m having a hard time picturing you two together, though.. What is a pretty lady like her doing with some fat ugly guy like you?” He mocked me.

 

“Ha ha. Believe or not, this fat ugly guy still has game, alright?” I tried to kiss his cheek exaggeratedly and he pushed me away, laughing.

 

“But seriously, if she is the responsible for that smile I saw earlier, I’m happy for you, man. You deserve it.”

 

“She is. We have a shit ton of things to work it out, she has some dark crap on her past, but I’m really enjoying this. She makes me really happy.”

 

“That’s all I want to hear.”

 

“Speaking of that.. I wrote a new song.” I said, picking up the guitar. “Do you mind if I run it by you?”

 

“Not at all. Go for it.”

 

_Sunrise slipping through the trees and it looks so pretty in your eyes_

_I guess I got carried away, kept you out here all night_

_I hope you don't mind_

_By the smile I see on your face,_

_I think you're havin' a good time, a good time_

 

_When I picked you up knew it wouldn't be enough_

_Couldn't fit it in one night_

_Shoulda told you then soon as you got in_

_I'd be taking my sweet time_

_I could show you around all over the town_

_Whatever you like, girl_

_Ain't a way I can love you the way that I want to_

_In just one night girl_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to possessive Gwen! 
> 
> And... since this one didn't end on a cliffhanger, here's one for you: enjoy normal while it lasts 
> 
> *evil laughter*  
> MUHAHAHAAHAH


	17. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, pretty people! I'm not gonna give anything away, so just enjoy it!
> 
> Chapter inspired by: There's Only One of You - Nathan Skyes
> 
> (Don't forget to check out my playlist on Spotify! Link on Summary :D)

_ Was this going too fast? Maybe. Was I scared? Absolutely. Did I regret it? Never.  _

 

Not when Blake’s grin went from ear to ear when he saw me coming his way at the airport. That boy wasn’t right in his head, getting all cheered up just because I agreed on travelling with him. But then again, why question it, right? Sure, I had to do  _ a lot  _ of adjustments, delegated a lot of tasks, Lizzie would probably quit after I get back, I would probably work my way into exhaustion every night, but that smile… That smile was worth it a thousand times. 

 

I was afraid of leaving so soon, but I was able to book some pretty important meetings in New York. When the CEO of the company heard about my  _ commitment _ , she was more than pleased. She told me to get the best hotels in the area, to make myself “at home” in NY, and to spare no expenses, all with L.A.M.B.’s credit card. 

 

Not that I would need it, tough. Because my boyfriend as loaded, apparently, since we would be flying on his private jet. 

 

Yes, I used the word “boyfriend”. To think that six months ago I had just buried my two baby boys and life was nothing more than a dark pit on which I was all the way down, and now I had a “boyfriend” may look like some sort of twisted joke from the outside, but you have to do what you can to stay alive and move on. My children would always, always be on my thoughts and prayers, guiding me, but going insane and dwelling in sorrow wouldn’t do anyone any good.

 

It took me some time to accept that.

 

Because when you lose someone you love, it seems so wrong to feel happy for whatever reason. You smile and immediately think  _ Why am I smiling? My kids just died. What kind of sick person am I, laughing like they didn’t matter?  _ You feel guilt that you are moving on. Specially when they pass away in some tragic manner, like Kings and Zums. I didn’t get to say goodbye. 

 

Grief is a permanent working progress. It comes in waves. Some days you just want to die; in others you allow yourself to feel that is okay to be happy. I would never make my peace with the fact that they were taken away from me like that, that they had been robbed the chance of growing up, go to college and have kids of their own, but I surely didn’t feel so hopeless as before. All thanks to some certain cowboy sitting right in front of me.

 

In other happy news, I was officially an aunt. Todd’s little girl, Stella, had arrived yesterday, when he called me crying so much that for a second I feared the worst. But gladly it wasn’t the case, and the Stefani household would have it’s long needed and awaited kids laughs again. 

 

As the plane was getting ready to take off, my phone buzzed with a text. Blake gave me the stink eye. “Gwen, we are about to leave.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry. I will turn it off.” I said, quickly checking the text message before putting my phone away. 

 

_ Have a safe trip, girl! Be careful bc Nash is Blakes reign. Youll see what I mean when you get there. When you come back we’ll have dinner together. Xo B. . _

 

“It’s everything okay?” Blake asked.

 

“Yeah, it was just Behati checking on us.”

 

“Good. Now come here next to me. We have four hours to make out.” I laughed out loud, unable to resist a plea like that. 

 

Since Blake told Adam about us, Behati and I got really close. She was funny and witty and cared a lot about Blake. It looks like he wasn’t kidding when he told me he had hit rock bottom. But what did she mean when Blake’s reign? Should I be on the lookout for groupies and such? 

 

I tried asking Blake, but his plans didn’t involve talking. 

 

Some time later, he woke me up just as we were about to land. We touched ground and Blake got unusually quiet. Was he having second thoughts about me here? Before I could ask him, he stood up, and as we were about to leave the plane, he stopped me. 

 

“Listen, I want you to know… Things get kind of crazy here. This is ‘country LA’, so…”

 

“Blake, I’m not following.”

 

“Uhm, just… Don’t believe anything you hear and try not to freak out.” 

 

Right, that “warning” already freaked the hell out of me, but I nodded and grabbed his hand. Nothing was out of place, from the ride home to his address there. This house was so much bigger and more like him that the house in L.A. 

 

“Yeah, the one there is just a rental, so I don’t sleep in hotels. This is really mine.” Oh, it made sense. “C’mon, I want you to meet someone.”

 

“Blake, I swear to God, if you have a wife here and are about to propose a threesome, I’ll seriously punch-” He laughed, cutting me out. 

 

“No, that’s not it. Gwen, this is Betty, the love of my life.  _ Come here, girl! _ ” At his command, the prettiest little black dog came out jumping on him and licking his face. I smiled fondly at the scene. Blake sure was a sucker for his girl. 

 

She realized that another human was standing there and came my way, sniffing me. I got down to pet her. Betty shook her tail, content with the attention we were giving her. 

 

“So, darlin…” He turned his face at me. “How do you feel about a night out in the town, Nashville-style?”

 

“I’m in…. I guess? Is that much different than the ones in LA?” 

 

“When you are with a country artist, yes, it is. Some friends are bugging me to know you and, as they put it,  _ see that you are real _ ” he mocked, looking embarrassed. 

 

I laughed. “Why they don’t think I’m real?”

 

“Because you are a successful fashion designer, drop-dead gorgeous with no other interest whatsoever in the country music world. They can’t wrap their heads around the fact that you are in this with me…. By me.” That was absurd. Blake was one of the most handsome men I’ve ever met. And I used to live in Italy, surrounded by models. 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m sure they are just playing you.”

 

“Alright… You’ve been warned.”

 

What do you wear to accompany your very famous boyfriend in a night out on his city? I decided to go for a tight black dress with spaghetti straps and a V-shape cleavage. My hair was down in soft curls and, since Blake was freaking tall and I didn’t want people to think that he was kidnapping me, I put on 7-inch red stilettos. He was totally a babe himself, with a grey shirt with rolled up sleeves, distressed blue jeans and cowboy boots.

 

Everything seemed pretty normal until we got to the bar.

 

Thousands of people were outside, waiting for him. Paparazzi were pointing huge cameras at our car, trying to snap a picture of Blake. My eyes jumped out of my head. Now I understood what Behati meant by Blake’s reign. He truly was royalty here. He looked at me and saw my reaction, getting worried. 

 

“Maybe I should have warned you or asked how you felt about it? I’m so sorry, do you want to go home? I don’t want you uncomfortable or giving up on me… Man, I’m so stupid, of course I should have told you. I just got you, now you look like you either are gonna throw up or run away… or both.” 

 

“No, I’m fine… It’s just… I didn’t realize how much famous you were, since you are so down-to-Earth, that’s all.” I tried to calm myself down, twisting my fingers on my lap.

 

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna lose you over this. Just say the word and we’ll turn around.”

 

“Are you kidding me? You are virtually my golden ticket to anywhere in this town! Now you are going to give this LA girl a complete tour!” I smiled playfully, hiding my panic well, and he visibly relaxed, giving me a sweet kiss on my lips. 

 

Inside, things were almost normal, giving that it was a kind of an exclusive bar, although it was packed. He took my hand and headed to this large group of people, like 10 of them. Someone noticed us and soon the whole conversation stopped at the table. 

 

“I’ll be damned! She exists! I just lost 100 bucks!” Some guy shouted, laughing. 

 

“Shut up, Luke. You’re scaring my girl.” He circled my waist, stopping by the end of the table. I smiled at everyone. Some faces were kind of familiar, but I couldn’t name them. “Everyone, this is Gwen Stefani, my  _ real, alive and here-by-her-free-will  _ girlfriend” He pointed those words dramatically and we all laughed. “Darlin, these are Luke and his wife, Caroline, Tim and his wife, Faith, Brandon, my manager, and his wife, Kelly, Brad and Kimberly and Karen and Jimi.” Blake pointed the people he mentioned and I greeted every single one of them. Kelly and Karen, particularly, were super excited, and I couldn’t help but smile. 

 

They made room for us between Faith and Brandon. Blake held my hand, asking the waiter for some wine for me and vodka with lime soda for him. Everyone were really welcoming, trying to make me feel at home. 

 

“You know that we are here specially to meet you, Gwen? It’s really hard to make time in our crazy schedule, but for Blake’s girl, we made it work.” Kelly pointed, and I was surprised.

 

“Seriously? Should I be honored or scared?” They all laughed. “I’m sorry to ask this because I was living abroad for quite some time, but you  _ all  _ are country singers?” Everyone, apart from Caroline, Kimberly and Brandon shook their hands yes. “Oh, wow! Now I  _ really  _ feel honored!”

 

I looked at Blake, who was smiling kinda embarrassed, kinda proud. I squeezed his hand, reassuring him everything was okay. 

 

They asked me all kinds of questions, and even those ones that hurt (kids and family) I was able to answer almost normally. Blake always held my hand and pulled me close whenever there was a particular difficult one. But, if anyone noticed my occasionally shutter, they didn’t bring it up. I ended up having a lot of fun. They were an amazing group of friends, and my heart grew so big to see how much they cared about Blake.

 

I leaned against his chest as he wrapped his arm over my shoulders, snuggling near him.

 

“Everything alright so far?” He whispered at my ear.

 

“Yeah… I’m just happy to see that you have a really good support group. I hope they like me”, I whispered back. 

 

“Baby girl, they are seeing how big is the grin in my face. They already love you.”

 

I placed a sweet smack on his cheek and turned my attention back to the conversation. 

 

It was almost 4 o’clock in the morning when we decided to call it a night. Before we left, some of the girls and I decided to go to the bathroom, but they stopped dead on their tracks right before we went in. 

 

I needed no introduction to know who was the blonde woman facing us. I had seen her face when I googled Blake. I’ve read some of the magazines after he mentioned her. She was the one that destroyed his heart, sending him into a pool of misery watered by vodka. She was the one that made him feel unworthy and probably caused an impression so bad on all of his friends that everyone had to make sure I was nothing like her.

 

I clenched my fists and prepared myself for the fight, because the woman coming out of the bathroom was Blake’s ex-wife, Miranda Lambert.

 

And she was staring at me looking for blood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TAH-DAH!
> 
> I really feel that the Country music is more like a family, so that's why I wrote them so close. I also didn't write their full names because since Blake (their friend) was introducing them, it would look weird and too formal. If someone I mentioned is on Team Miranda, please forgive me and overlook that :D


	18. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I needed to hear that disgusting voice in order to creat her character, so listen to Something Bad - Miranda Lambert feat. Carrie Underwood. 
> 
> After that, I was inspired by All About You - Birdy.

_Before I could think about the possibility of Miranda being here, she had already found Gwen._

 

It took about 30 seconds of Gwen leaving my side to someone come running to tell me that they were at some sort of staring contest, their claws ready to come out. I could not believe this. I went through hell to finally get Gwen and now everything in my life had decided to test the strength of this one-week-old relationship.

 

Just as I found them, Miranda got closer to Gwen, looking up and down at her, with a look of disgust on her face.

 

“So… This is the new whore that my husband is parading around? I’ve heard rumors that he had someone but I didn't think he would sink _this low_ ”, her words were flooded with venom, and I feared that Gwen would jump at her throat, because she was seeing red, as I struggled to make my way into the crowd to get to them.

 

And I learned from last week’s events never to mess with her.

 

“ _Ex_ -husband, dear. And I'm assuming that you are the dumb little silly girl that let him slip out of your hands? The stupid one that left sapphire at home and decided to roll with cheap jewelry, to go along your reputation?” Oh, there she was, my _feisty_   _italian girl_ defending her man. In that case, me. Miranda looked like she had been slapped hard in the face. “Don't worry, love. Now he found someone who truly can recognize exquisite treasure, that's why he's with me”, her smile was so ironic, so petulant, that offended Miranda more than if Gwen had called her a cheating slut. I hurried my pace, finally getting near my girlfriend.

 

“How _dare_ you, you little-” she saw me and stopped talking, eyes wide and face flushed with shame.

 

“C’mom, baby girl, our car is waiting”, I said to Gwen, my hands going around her waist, completely ignoring Miranda as if she wasn't even in the room. Gwen’s face relaxed and she smiled dearly at me, nodding his head yes.

 

Kelly, Caroline and Karen, who had gone with her to the ladies’ room, were completely shocked by the _finesse_ and elegance that Gwen had shot Miranda down. I was too. In fact, I bet everyone in the room was thinking: _Oh no, she didn't!_

 

I turned my back at Miranda, leading Gwen and the girls back to our table so we could head out.

 

“Oh. My. God! You were incredible, honey! She looked like she had just swallowed sour milk”, Kelly couldn't help but giggle and squirm like a little girl. She had always hated Miranda.

 

“What happened? Did Miranda find you guys?” Faith asked looking concerned as we got there.

 

“Yes, and Gwen didn't even had to _raise a hand_ to completely mop the floor with that stupid giant forehead of hers”, Caroline replied, thrilled.

 

Gwen smiled shyly, a tiny bit concerned if that had made a scene. I stroked her back, reassuring her that everything was fine, and we said our goodbyes to my friends.

 

Once inside the car, Gwen almost lost it.

 

“Oh my God, Blake, I’m so sorry! I didn't even think about media and the crowd and your reputation, I just… she stood there talking shit and feeling superior, and I knew how broke she made you feel that I just… I got so mad…” She started rambling and I smile like I was the fucking king of the world.

 

_How hot it was having your girl defending your honor?_

 

I kissed her, shushing her out. “You. Were. Amazing”, I pointed every word with a kiss and she seemed to relax a little bit. “Seriously. Those girls back there are going to worship the ground you stand on. I’m not even kidding, you just became their hero.”

 

“Really? Do you think so? Because I was afraid I had embarrassed you.”

 

“Never. If anything, I’m fucking proud of you.” She didn’t seem entirely sure, though. We got home and prepared ourselves to sleep when she turned at me.

 

“Can I just ask something that’s been bugging me?”

 

“Of course. Anything.”

 

“Why were your friends so wary of me? Don’t get me wrong, I love that they are overprotective towards you, it shows that they really care about you, but for everyone drop everything and come here…” She bit her lower lip, insecure.

 

“It’s not so much about you, as it is about the idea of me having a girlfriend.” She was even more confuse. “There is this rumor around town that Miranda didn’t marry me for love… She was just starting her career, so people have been talking that she…”

 

“Just used you for leverage? Oh my God, that’s so cruel!”

 

“That’s why my friends wanted to meet you, just to make sure that you are as invested as I am, you know? Because I really loved her and came out of that marriage with nothing left standing.” I pulled her closer into my arms, hugging her and breathing her scent.

 

“Well, I hope it showed how much I am.” She snuggled closer, kissing my chest.

 

“You have nothing to worry about, baby girl.”

 

I kissed the top of her head and fell asleep feeling the happiest man alive.

 

\--------------

 

I’ve sent the song I wrote last week for the label company and they loved it, so I was on my way to record it right now. It was obviously about Gwen, so of course she was coming along. I was a bit apprehensive, though. It was going to be the first time she would hear me sing. Not only that, but also it was going to be a song about her.

 

She seemed ecstatic, looking forward to that. I didn’t tell her what the song was about, she was just happy to see me in action. Was it weird how good that made me feel? Perhaps. But I’ve never had someone cheering me in my corner, so I wanted to enjoy this as much as I could.

 

I sat her down right in front of the studio glass, next to the sound technician. I went inside and took my place in front of the mic, putting my headphones. I closed my eyes before singing, because I was afraid of her reaction.

 

When I finished singing and opened my eyes, she had tears coming down her face, completely shocked. I flew out of the room, already looking for ways to apologize. It scared the bejeezus out of me.

 

_I cannot screw this up. Please, God, don’t let me screw this up._

 

But when I got near her, she opened the most beautiful smile amid her tears, and I understood she was crying of happiness..

 

“That was… .was that about us?” I nodded, crouching myself in front of her. She wiped her tears, trying not to smudge her makeup. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything so… I don’t even have words to describe it....”

 

“Did you really like it? You’re not just saying that?” She looked at me like _Duh! Are you not seeing my tears, you moron_? And my smile went from ear to ear.

 

“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for saving me, Blake Shelton.”

 

“Well, I don’t mind if you try”, I displayed a cocky smile and she laughed, kissing me.

 

I had a couple of meetings after my studio time, so I send her with a couple bodyguards to visit some stores downtown. She wanted to see the fashion market here, see if there was any room for her company while I did my things.

 

 I would never would have sent her if I knew what would happen.

 

Because, when I got home, there was a tabloid over the table with her picture on the cover and a very scared Gwen looking at me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told some people that came to ask me, now I'll tell everybody: You don't need to worry (much) about Miranda! She's not the bigger villain! As you can already notice, I try not to focus on people, rather than the situation, and how our favorite couple handle the problems I throw their way. I think that is not so much what a person did to you as it is about how you react to it, right? 
> 
> There's no bigger villain than life, and although the story is made up, the feelings are real.
> 
> Try not to hate me so much with that cliffhanger, I need to make sure you guys keep interested in this fic, ahahah
> 
>  
> 
> If you're on twitter, follow me @Ao3SoulLove :D


	19. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHAPTER, YAY! o// It felt so weird writing trash about our favorite OC girl, but I made it! Hope you guys like the way it turned out. 
> 
> Song by We Never Change - Coldplay

 

> **BLAKE SHELTON’S NEW LOVE?**
> 
> _ Find out who is the mysterious girl the country crooner has been seeing for  TWO MONTHS under the radar! _
> 
> Girls, you can already bag your dreams of dating the super hot king of country, Blake Shelton.  _ Nashville Life  _ has learned EXCLUSIVELY that the singer has already a new lady! And you’ll be shocked to know that she has a tragic past!
> 
>  
> 
> Gwen Stefani is a 45 years old italian-american fashion designer who is currently living in LA, commanding the expansion of the Milan-based clothing line L.A.M.B. She is one of the brand’s most prestigious designers, being credited for its success among young women, that’s why she is pretty much commanding all operations here in American soil. 
> 
>  
> 
> But, sadly, the powerful designer comes with a dark past. Both Her children died in a car crash just before she was sent to US. And, get this: her former husband and father of the kids, musician Gavin Rossdale, is under investigation, accused of getting involved in the accident ON PURPOSE! The italian police is even investigating if whether or not he drugged his sons! Poor Gwen! Can you imagine losing your family like that?
> 
>  
> 
> Isn’t this too much for our beloved country babe Blake Shelton to handle? Everyone knows Blake is the life of the party whenever he goes, always in a good mood and making jokes. His split with fellow singer Miranda Lambert was the talk of the town for months, with rumours that she CHEATED on him with several men! But even when they were together, you could tell that Blake liked his wife because she was funny and amiable. Will Blake get past his own heartbreak AND still be able to be there for his new bae?
> 
>  
> 
> Not only that, but she has NOTHING to do with country music! Did she even know who Blake was before meeting him? Our favorite male country artist usually dresses himself in a more traditional way (button-down shirts, jeans and boots). Wouldn’t that be boring for her? Not that we are complaining, of course! But we are not some big-shot fashion executives….
> 
>  
> 
> They have been spotted here in Nashville yesterday, when Blake introduced Gwen to the Country Mafia, as we like to call the group of friends that formed with country singers like Luke Bryan and Little Big Town’s Karen Fairchild and Jimi Westbrook. They were so eager to meet Blake’s new love that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill even flew in mid tour! Wonder if they approved the new relationship... Their night of drinking even had an AWKWARD RUN-IN with Blake’s ex-wife, Miranda!
> 
>  
> 
> Only time will tell, but our guess is that this relationship isn’t going to last! Stay tuned!
> 
>  

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ Oh God, oh God, oh God.  _

 

The first time that it happened, I just thought it was because of the bodyguards, two massive large men Blake insisted on accompanying me. But the second time someone looked at me funny, it was a lady that stopped me on the street and said she was sorry about my kids. _ WHAT _ ? How did some stranger know about my sons? 

 

Then I entered in a boutique and every single women there stopped what they were doing to look at me, whispering like we were at high school. Feeling chills all over my body, I got out of there. On my way to the car, something was caught in the corner of my eye: my own face in some newspaper. 

 

The world started spinning around me and I barely made it to the car before my knees gave out. I has shaking so much it took me three tries to get inside the car, heart pounding in my chest. I asked one of the gentleman with me to go buy the tabloid for me and we got home as fast as we could.

 

How these people could know so much about me in such a short matter of time? They knew about the investigation, for God’s sakes. My work, my projects. Would this be harmful for the brand? Oh my God, I didn’t even think about how my relationship with someone famous would imply into L.A.M.B’s name. How much more could they find? And once they found everything, what could they make up? 

 

But what scared me most was the way they portrayed my relationship with Blake. I was being so selfish, oh my God. Was that the way I really am? I knew my past was a burden, but I only imagined that Blake would make me  _ better _ . I never even began to think that I could make him  _ worse.  _ That I could take his joy away. That made me feel so sick that I threw up on the bathroom as soon as I got in Blake’s house. 

 

He had mention that he almost drank himself into oblivion more than once. Behati had told me that too. But he still would drink with me, almost every time. Damn, we  _ met  _ in a freaking  _ liquor store.  _ As his girlfriend, I should be concerned about that, right? I should keep an eye on that, but I was so lost in myself that I didn’t dare to look past my fucking nose.

 

It didn’t take long for Blake to get back from his meeting. Thank God, because I was losing my mind here alone. He came inside smiling, ready to ask me something, but then his eyes caught the newspaper. And he stopped breathing. 

 

It was the same thing I did to him in our relationship? Was I using him to fix my crap, without giving a second thought on what he was going through? I felt like the worst person in the world, taking a beautiful man, chewing him and spitting him out until he had nothing good left. 

 

“I can’t do this, Blake… I could never do this to you. The things they wrote here…” I was crying, desperate. He was worried sick, not knowing what to do. 

 

“Gwen, these are just lies, things they invent just to sell papers….”

 

“Are they, tough? Because everything I read here was true! My age, my job, my kids. They brought up my kids, Blake. Investigation and everything….”

 

His eyes grew wider. “Please, just… Let’s talk about it, let me read it so I can show you none of that means anything….”

 

“Don’t you see? I can’t be good to you… I’m just gonna break you, destroy you like everything else in my life.” I couldn’t keep the tears from falling. I didn’t even make sense. 

 

He got mad. “You don’t get to decide this for me! I wanted this! I fought hard for you, with everything I got!”

 

“I can’t have you 10 years from now you waking up hating me because I turned you into some bitter person with all crap, Blake.”

 

“10 years from now if I still wake up next to you I’ll be the luckiest motherfucker that ever existed.” His blunt honesty completely disarmed me. 

 

“Blake, you’re not taking this seriously.”

 

“No, I’m not! I’ll never take some shitty tabloid seriously!” He got the paper and threw it across the room, pissed at me. “You don’t get to jump out of this on the slightest sign of trouble, Gwen! Fight! Dammit, fight for me, like I did for you!” He inhaled deeply, calming down and speaking lower now. “Or you are on this 110% or you aren’t at all. I’m fine with battling your demons along your side, but don’t play with my heart like that. I stayed by my word since the first night I told you could break on me anytime.”

 

“They wrote that I would me too much of a burden for you. That I would take your happiness away....” I tried not sounding so shattered, but it didn’t work. My eyes went to the floor and he came closer to hug me. 

 

“Bullshit.” That southern accent lightened the mood a little bit and I smiled. He cupped my jaw and brought my face closer to his. “Look, I know I wasn’t aware of your past for the first time we slept together, but I was at the second time. And at the third. And every time after that. I still came back for you. I still fell in love with you.” My eyes began watering again. It was the first time he had said it out loud. “I don’t give a crap about what the world thinks about us, as long as what we have is real.” 

 

“I love you so much that I can’t bare the fact that I may make you unhappy.” He smiled so big when he heard the words that my heart melted.

 

“Well, if you love me, just say it to me a thousand times everyday and you’ll be fine.” 


	20. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music by Waiting - Aquilo. Sexy time inspired by Don't Forget About Me - CLOVES. 
> 
>  
> 
> All of them on my Spotify playlist! :D

_ She loves me.  _

 

Thank God, because it was embarrassing how much I loved that complicated, crazy, astonishing woman. It sure as hell wasn’t easy, but we were progressing. One problem at a time.

 

She was petrified by the article about her, getting to see first-hand how this industry works. It can completely crush you. After we set our situation straight, she began freaking out about the consequences it could bring to her company, since she was pretty much the face of the company. She called her PR team and sent a snap of the tabloid for them,. spending two hours with them on the phone, going over the repercussions it could mean for her fashion brand. But in the end of the day they told her that it probably would be good free press, since the media wasn’t saying anything particularly bad about the enterprise and on top of that they were involuntarily creating buzz around the name. 

 

They even included me on the conference, saying that if we wanted, they could work along with my publicist on particular cases, since I was a public figure as well. Her head of marketing, Melissa, pointed that would be interesting if I could go around on some radio shows and talk about us. 

 

“Absolutely not! Oh my God, do you want to make things worse?” She objected. 

 

“Honey, think of this way”, Melissa began, over the phone. “with Blake telling his side of the story, showing that he is happy with you, it will show that those things the press are saying about your relationship aren’t true.”

 

“Do you really think so?” She asked.

 

“I’m not saying that they will stop. You know this already, Blake, right? Once they begin, it’s impossible to -stop. They are like bullies, if you show them fear, they will feast on you.” She had a very good point.

 

“But with Blake going over on interviews to talk about me, won't that make it seem like I’m using his fame to launch L.A.M.B.?” The fact that Gwen was worried about this made me love her even more. Melissa laughed.

 

“It seems kind of a stretch use someone that has nothing to do with fashion whatsoever to advertise us, doesn't it? No offense, Blake, but I think you would pretty much be the last person on Earth to be the face of the brand.” I let out a big laugh. She was right. “And they already established that you have a place of your own in our world. You're not just some up-and-coming designer trying to get attention.” 

 

Gwen visibly relaxed. She smiled my way and touched my cheek, caressing me with her thumb. “Well, I guess… if you want to, baby…”

 

“I’ll have my team schedule some interviews while we are here.”

 

“Okay. Oh and Gwen, you should probably warn your family about everything. They can use our name to publish something in Italy too, especially now that they mentioned the investigation.”

 

_ Family.  _ That would mean coming out to our parents, something that we haven't discussed yet. We finished the conversation with Melissa and looked at each other.

 

“So.... family. How do you want to do this?” I began, carefully, afraid that would startle her.

 

“They are over the moon with my baby niece, so I think they will receive the news well…” Gwen out a hand under her chin, pensive, and I stroked her arm.

 

“Whatever you wanna do, baby girl.”

 

“Well, since you put this way.. . Right now I want some dinner” she smiled playfully and stood up. “We can talk with my parents in the morning”. I kissed her, mirroring her smile. 

 

“We can go out…” I got out of the couch too. She nodded her head no and I kissed her again, coming closer with my body, “We can order in…” Another kiss, this time longer and deeper. “Or we can stay in and whip something up….” She hummed, agreeing with the last idea and put her lips on mine. I circled her waist, pulling her near. Her hands went to my hair, tugging it. Suddenly, the mood changed, becoming more heated.

 

“Gwen…. At this pace.. I’m gonna eat something else..” I said against her lips, with double intentions, and moved my head away just enough to look at her. She had the naughtiest smile on her face.

 

“Alright, alright… She backed away, separating out bodies. “C’mon, cowboy. It’s time for you to taste some authentic italian cuisine.”

 

She went to the kitchen and I followed right behind her. Inspecting my fridge, she found the ingredients for the dish he had in mind. We started working side-by-side, but with all the occasional contact, bending over and over-the-shoulder looks, the mood was very distracting. When her arm lightly touched my, I dropped everything on the sink and attacked her mouth, suddenly hungry for her. 

 

Gwen matched my need, kissing me back just as harder. I lifted her over the kitchen counter so we could be at the same height, her hands all over me. We didn’t even have to take our clothes off; we were so desperate for each other and when I realized, her hand was already inside my boxers. I thanked my lucky stars for the dress she was wearing, which meant that I only had to lift the hem up. My hands were travelling up and down her thighs, feeling and grabbing every inch of skin available. 

 

With her tireless hand working on my dick, I was more than ready, so I had to prepare her too. But when I reached her panties, it was already drenched with her need. I grinned, the fact of her being so ready for me every time never getting old. Still, I had to treat my lady right, so I moved her underwear aside and my thumb started working its magic. 

 

She jolted forward, gasping and moaning, holding my cock harder. I sucked her neck right under her ear, somewhere I knew it was a very sensible place for her. She shivered, saying disconnected words, getting closer to her release. So I started whispering in her ear, fastening the pace on her clit. 

 

“You’re my favorite meal, you know that? I could eat you up every day of the week.” She moaned harder, loving the dirty talk. “Look at you, all lost over my kitchen top.... Looking like a damn snack…. The most beautiful girl on the planet…”

 

“Oh God, just…. Please…. Let me….”

 

“Let you what, baby girl? Do you want to cum? Do you want to fall apart under my hands?” I whispered, my voice low and rasp with need, getting crazy over her touch on my dick.

 

“Yes.. Blake… please..”

 

“Say the word, darlin... Say what you want me to do to you…”

 

“Let me cum, I beg of you…”  _ Dear Lord _ . I almost lost it. She was out of breath and I couldn’t take it any longer. I kissed her, biting her lower lip, and she came undone, moaning my name into my mouth. 

 

She was still feeling the aftershocks when I launched myself inside of her, pounding her so hard that for a moment I was worried that I could hurt her. But she seemed to be enjoying as much I as was, because her nails were making a number on my back. 

.

I knew her clit would be too sensible, but I needed to feel her orgasm one more time before I let myself go, so I went for it again and she screamed.

 

“C’mon, baby girl.. Give it to me one more time… Cum for me”

 

I felt her walls closing in and jumped that cliff with her, our food completely forgotten.

 

 

\-----------------------

 

“Joining us now here at the studio, the king of country, Blake Shelton!”

 

I had just arrived at a radio station here on Nashville, first thing on the morning, ready to talk about my new upcoming album and, of course, Gwen. I was kinda nervous, but the presenter was a good buddy of mine, that’s why I asked to come here first.

 

“Hi man, good to see you.” I answered on the mic.

 

“Good to see you too, buddy! Especially with that shiny smile on your face…” I didn’t even had to ask him to point that out, because it was so obvious. 

 

“Well, what can I say, life has been pretty good to me so far.” I answered, shrugging my shoulders and smiling bigger. 

 

“So.. it’s true! There’s a new leading lady on you life?”

 

“Yes.. It’s still kinda new, tough.”

 

“So tell me all about her! Who is she?”

 

“What is this, some nail salon? Are we here here to braid each other’s hairs?” I joked and everyone in the room laughed their asses off. 

 

“Oh, c’mon, we want to know.”

 

“I’m just kidding…. So, her name is Gwen, she is a fashion designer whom I met on set on The Voice”, we had agreed to go with the “official” story, since the real one would be too difficult to explain. 

 

“What on Earth do you guys talked about that first time? Because I’m having a hard time picturing you two talking about fabrics and sequins….” I let out a big ole laugh, throwing my head back. 

 

“She was talking to Miley when I saw her, man. I don’t understand shit about all that, but she was so beautiful I couldn’t help myself. Adam had previously met her through his wife, Behati, so he introduced me and we just... hit it off.” 

 

“For the look on your face, I’d say you guys really did.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say I'll never look at a kitchen top the same way again... ahahaahah
> 
> No cliffhanger for you this time, so enjoy my good mood :D


	21. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite you girls talking to me ALL DAY LONG on twitter, I was able to write a super long chapter today! YAY ME!
> 
> Hold on to your seats because HERE IT COMES JEALOUS BLAKE!!!!
> 
> Music for this chapter: What ifs - Kane Brown feat. Lauren Alaina and You Look Good - Lady Antebellum

_ This is ridiculous. Why am I nervous about telling my parents about Blake _ ? 

 

I felt like a tennager, even though I was 45 years old. Was I worried because they would think I’m rushing into this? Or that they wouldn’t like him? 

 

“So… mom. There is something I want to tell you.” I spent half an hour getting her to talk about my niece, dad, the weather, everything, until I mustered the courage to bring up the real reason of the call. Blake had gone to some interviews and I was alone at his couch. But as I said it, I changed my mind. “Actually, mom, I want your advice.”

 

“What is it, dear?”

 

“Do you think… do you think there is a reason why everything happened the way it did?”

 

“Without a shadow of a doubt, honey. You know, there is a lesson in every corner and every turn our life goes. We all needed that lesson, and unfortunately, we had to lose someone very close to our heart to learn it.”

 

“But what lesson, mom?”

 

“All I know, honey, is that  one day we’re going to look back at our life and think  _ oh, that’s why.”  _

 

“I miss them so much, mom.... I keep thinking that I always worked too much, my time with them wasn’t enough.”

 

“Who knows, maybe that’s the lesson. Or maybe God thought you needed a complete turnover in you life. But they didn’t come to this life just to die. They teached us to love deeper, hold stronger, give everything you got because you never know when is gonna be the last day you see someone you love. Maybe you needed that lesson for you next step in life.” 

 

My mom was a very wise and religious person, someone I turned to on every difficulty. On the worst days, I was angry with God for letting this happen, and she would talk to me, not in a resentful manner, quite the opposite. But even then, I didn’t understood. 

 

Now I was beginning to. 

 

“I met someone, mom. His name is Blake.” I said, and just a mention of his name brought a smile on my lips.

 

“Dear, I can  _ hear _ you grinning.” We both laughed. “I’m assuming he makes you happy?”

 

“Very, mom. He is the most amazing guy. He’s been helping me so much, so selflessly. I know that I’m too much to handle right now, but he didn’t give up on me once.”

 

“Well… who knows, perhaps he is your ‘lesson’.”

 

“Possibly, because old Gwen would never be interested or stick around for him. He is famous here… A country singer. I had a tough time accepting the harassment that comes with that. In Milan I was known, but I absolutely loathed this kind of fame.”

 

“The media is giving you hell?”

 

“Yes. They even mentioned the boys.... And the investigation. I don’t know if it can spread all the way to Italy, but you guys should be prepared.”

 

“Okay. I’ll talk with your father. Now I should go, Jen needs my help with Stella. Speaking of her, are you coming to meet your niece soon, dear?”

 

“I want to, mom. Milan Fashion Week is coming, maybe I’ll go and enjoy the trip to meet our little angel.”

 

“Perhaps you can bring the man responsible for making you better?” My mom threw the question in, the way only moms can do. I laughed.. Blake in Italy, with my mom shoving platters of food in his face? That’s gonna be epic. 

 

“I have to check if he doesn’t have anything scheduled, like concerts and such. But I’ll definitely ask.”

 

“Ok, let me know.  _ Ti amo, tesoro.” _

 

“ _ Ti amo, mamma.” _

 

I hang up the phone and smiled. It was the first time I said  _ I love you  _ in Italian to someone after The Happening. 

 

 

\-------------------------

 

 

The girls I met the other day with Blake invited me to a night out, no boys allowed, so we could chat and have fun before Faith had to return for her tour. They even added me in a group chat called “Country Mafia Queens”. So, I left Blake at home, looking amazed (and a bit sour) by the fact that I was going out without him, in his city, with his friends. 

 

“Well, you could call the boys and have a night of your own too.”

 

“Maybe I will, so we can keep an eye on you, specially dressed like this.” He made me spin around, the sequins in my dress flying and sparkling. “You are going to have a flock of vultures surrounding you and I’ll have to bring my shotgun.” My eyes widened and he laughed. “Just kidding, baby girl. You look your damn best, like always. And everyone will be jealous of me because only I can take it off when you come home.” Blake’s face was the definition of naughty and I laughed out loud. 

 

I arrived at the bar almost at the same time as Kelly, and we ended up walking together to the table  where the other girls were. 

 

“Hi guys! Thanks for the invite! I really need girl time.” I greeted them as I sat.

 

“This is your official welcome to our little group. This is where we run when the boys are annoying us.” Karen started, putting her hand on top of mine. “Or when we need some advice.”

 

“We saw the article, dear. How are you holding up?” Faith leaned in, showing support.

 

“I got really scared, because there were some details in my life I wasn’t ready to see resurfacing, you know?” The all nodded, understanding what I was talking about. “I was afraid for Blake too, that I could cause too much damage in his reputation or something like that.”

 

“It can’t be worse than what Miranda did, I’ll tell you that.” They all agreed. “And you’ll see that Blake doesn’t give a fuck about his reputation, honestly.. He is one of the truest guys in the business.” Kelly added. 

 

“Also, you just have to completely shut this out of your life. Seriously. Every week some magazine “leaks” that Tim is having an affair and we are splitting up. Our lawyer would have made a fortune by now if we’d be divorcing every time they say something like this. But we’ve been together for 20 years now, and still holding strong.”

 

“Wow, Faith… I really needed that. I was going crazy over it.”

 

“It isn’t worth the money you’ll have to spend in facelifts from worrying too much. Trust me, I know that now.” Faith said it with so much sass that almost cried laughing.

 

“We learn how to ignore it, eventually.” It was Caroline, whom I remember was not on the business as well. 

 

“Alright, we talked too much already. Now, we drink!” Kelly clapped her hands, changing the subject. 

 

They were the funniest group of women I’ve ever been on. I didn’t think I had laughed so much like this in my entire life. Those drinks and tequila shots surely helped, of course, but they were so cool and easygoing that I felt right at home. 

 

“Okay, okay… Now that we had put some drinks on you… We wanna know sooooo bad… How is the sex?” Karen looked at me with a curious look, a little tipsy as well, and I blushed so bad.

 

“Ewwww, Karen!! Blake is like my annoying big brother, I don’t wanna know that!” Kelly shouted, trying to sound disgusted but failing miserably.

 

“Oh my God… Really?” They eagerly nodded, waiting for my answer. “He is… oh shit, how can I say it…” I think my heart eyes had said enough, because they all laughed. “Let’s just say that he knows what he is doing.” The table exploded crying with laugher. 

 

“And he is… you know…” Kimberly tried to ask, gesting to symbolize his size.

 

“Oh of course he is! Look how tall Blake is! He looks like a bigfoot!” Kelly answered.

 

“A very well-endowed bigfoot, I may add….” They screamed and my face turned ever redder.

 

“You lucky girl! That’s why you both smile so much!” Karen shouted. 

 

“Oh my God!” I covered my face with my hands, embarrassed. “Okay, but seriously. I don’t know if he told you this, but we started as an one-night-stand kind of thing, you know? Just something to blow the steam off.. But it was so addictive….”

 

“Yeah, we feel you, girl!” Kelly said, still laughing. 

 

“We even tried no-strings-attached, but…”

 

“That never works!” Karen added. 

 

“No, it doesn’t!” I replied. “Alright, I need another glass. I’ll be right back.”

 

I went to the bar, which was on the other side of the room, ready for another margarita, the night’s sixth?  Seventh?  I lost count. I leaned in on the counter, waiting for the bartender to finish my drink, when I heard someone behind me. 

 

“Damn, girl… That ass should come with a warning!”

 

I turned around, straightening my back and trying to be as far away as possible from that creep with a cowboy hat.

 

“Uhm, thanks, I guess.” The barman called me and handed me my drink.. “So, I’m gonna go, my friends are waiting.” He may as well be a rapist, so I let him know that I wasn’t alone. 

 

But he wasn’t done yet, so he grabbed my arm. I gasped, starting to panic. “No, we are having fun, the night is only starting…”

 

“Hey, listen.... I’m sure you must be  _ super fun _ …” I said, ironically, trying not to show my fear. “.... But my friends are waiting for me here and my boyfriend is coming to pick me up anytime now.” It was a lie, but he didn’t know that. “So I don’t want to cause you any trouble....”

 

“Oh, I know who you are, sweetie. And Blake is real stupid for letting you go out alone.”

 

I was shocked. Who was this man?  Was I in danger?  I started to look around to see if any of the girls came looking for me, but I didn’t recognize nobody in the crowd. The man laughed, still holding my arm tight.. I felt my eyes prickling with tears and started to scramble my memory for possible self-defense kicks when I heard.

 

“She asked you to let her go, Chris.” 

 

There he was, my prince charming ready for the rescue. 

 

The creep, apparently named Chris, immediately let my arm go, and I inhaled deeply, stroking it to relieve the pain. But he turned around to face Blake with a sadistic smile on his face. I backed away from him, almost running to Blake. He put me under his arm, circling my waist, but still mad as hell.

 

He was standing tall, with his chest pumped forward, like he was ready to get into a fight. His fists closed, arm stiffened around me, keeping me close and safe. His scent was all man, testosterone through the roof and now that the danger had past, I could focus on one crucial thing:

 

_ Damn, possessive Blake was hot.  _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But wait! There is more! GO GO GO!!


	22. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since you asked (and begged, and threatened me), here it is, JEALOUS BLAKE!
> 
> To set the mood: Homemade Dinamite - Lorde

_I knew I was right to come here tonight._

 

Gwen wasn’t safe alone is this goddamn city, apparently, because every time she left my side something had happened to her. So I called Tim and Luke and we went to the bar where the girls were. The last one was Chris Young groping her like some sort of pervert.

 

Not some sort sort of pervert. More _like the pervert that he was._

 

Since the first time I met him, I didn’t like the way he talked, specially towards women, as if he was a fucking godsent gift from above. And then, I understood the _real_ reason why I hated him: he was screwing Miranda behind my back. At the time, I felt hurt. Now, only anger. Specially when he was messing with my girl.

 

I intended to keep my distance from her, let her have the much needed night out with the girls, so she could bond and have girl-talk. She didn't have much friends here on US and I didn't want to monopolize her. She was too independent for that.

 

I knew very well that Gwen was nothing like Miranda, that she would never fall for something so crass and cheap like his lines, but I couldn't help feeling a little jealous and territorial. So that's why, despite my vow to leave her alone, I flew in next to her right when I realized that Young was bugging her.

 

When he grabbed her arm, I saw red.

 

“I was just messing around, man… No need to go caveman on me.” He answered shrugging it off like it didn’t matter.

 

“There you go again trying to get what’s mine.. Tell me, Miranda already got sick of you?” His smile faded. “You stay the hell away from Gwen, you sick shit.” I said, pointing at him. “Find someone that is as disturbed as you.”

 

“You shouldn’t leave her alone, then... “ He said, trying to get the upperhand by winking at her. She shivered next to me, disgusted. “But alright, I’ll go, otherwise you’re gonna hurt your pretty little hands by holding your knuckles so tight. See you around, dear.”

 

As soon as he turned his back, I looked at Gwen.

 

“Are you okay, baby girl? I’m sorry to come down here and interrupt your night with the girls, I just had a feeling that something like that would happen.. Or that you would bump into Miranda again..”

 

“No, I’m glad that you did now. Who is this creep?”

 

“Chris Young, he is a fucker trying to climb his way into the spotlight. Miranda cheated on me with him, can you believe that?” Her jaw dropped and I was happy to see that reaction.

 

“No! Wow, she really is a dumb little whore, huh?” I nodded and she changed the subject, looking naughty. “So… jealous Blake really turned me on… And I’m kinda drunk on tequila and margaritas….”

 

_Oh, now we’re talking._

 

“Yes...?” I played innocent.

 

“Quit teasing me and take me home… You need to show me who this body really belongs to.”

 

“You don’t have to ask twice, baby.”

 

I was already crazy for her, with that little sparkly dress doing things to my dick. I leaded her to the door, trusting that Tim and Luke would figure out what happened and tell the girls. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to anyone.

 

I was going home to fuck my girlfriend’s brains out.

 

 

I don’t know how we got there, but as soon I as closed the front door, we were all over each other. She kissed me with that familiar hunger that I would never get tired of, and started undressing me, stumbling with the buttons of my shirt. My gentleman side wanted to be gentle on her, not to ruin her beautiful dress, but it couldn’t reason with my dick, eager to get inside her. So the piece of fabric ended up shredded on the floor.

 

She gasped, even more aroused than that she already was.

 

“So, you wanted to see jealous Blake?” I asked, sucking her neck. She grabbed my hair hard, enjoying the roughness. “Did you want me to show you who really belong to?”

 

“Oh my God, yes!” She breathed, throwing her head out, giving me full access to her breasts.

 

“You. belong. To. me” I said between kisses on her right nipple, feeling her get goosebumps all over her skin. “And nobody touches what’s mine” I bit her nipple and she screamed. “ _Nobody.”_

 

I tossed her on the couch, not bothering with turning the lights on. The dark gave us a sense of danger, mystery, and I was all in for that. Despite loving her and treasuring her like the rarest gift of all, I could tell she was in a very kinky mood, so of course I would make her fantasy come alive. I would have time to make love sweetly with her later; now, she would get rough and dirty.

 

Her panties were the next item of clothing that I ripped into pieces, so desperate to eat her out that I didn’t want to waste time with taking it off. Her eyes went black and she opened her mouth, surprised and turned on at the same time.

 

“You see this pussy right here?” I sucked her clit and she saw stars. “All mine.” I rolled my tongue all over it, kissing and sucking it. “I’m the only one who knows how to treat you well.” I fucked her with my tongue, going in and out of her like a madman.

 

“YES!” She screamed. “All yours, baby…”

 

“Only I know how to make you lose your mind, right, darlin” I switched my tongue with two fingers and felt a rush of her juices coming out, as she grabbed the nearest pillow on the couch. “Look at you, already so close to cum… I’m not even started with you, baby girl…” I kept the love assault on her core, sucking and licking her clit like a lollipop. “Only I can hear my name coming out like a prayer from your lips…”

 

She got stiff and I knew she was close to her climax. The first of many I planned on giving her that night.

 

“Yes… fuck, Blake…. I’m so close…”

 

“I know you are.” I lightly bit her and she jolted forward. “I know you better than yourself. I can tell you are almost there because you get all flushed and bothered. That’s why you’re mine.” I started rolling my wrist. “And I know that if I do this, you’ll cum for me like it’s the first time ever.” I reached that sweet spot inside her and she exploded, screaming and shaking so hard I had to pin her to the couch.

 

I didn’t even give her time to calm down her high. I took the rest of my clothes out and picked her up, turning her around. Anticipating what I was going to do, she grabbed the couch backrest and pushed her butt at me.

 

 _“_ Oh, _naughty girl,_ you really like that, huh?” In one motion, I was inside of her. Holding her hips to increase the power of my thrusts, I began with a quick pace, so desperate for her that I was going insane.

 

I was pounding her senseless, with her screams turning me on even more. I don’t know what it is with this woman. Instead of getting used to her, to this feeling, I seemed to be even more addicted. I always wanted more.. More of this, more of her, more of us. It was a rush that no cocaine in the world could possibly compare.

 

I curved myself on top of her, wanting to kiss her neck and send her over the edge once more.

 

“Nobody will get to see you so eager and desperate like this, because you’re mine. I love you, and I’m never letting you go.”

 

One more thrust and we were both jumping that cliff together.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, what did you think? Comments, please!!!


	23. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI, GUYS!! 
> 
> Sorry for skipping a day, I was on wife-duty. I have two new chapters and a list of news for you: 
> 
> 1st - as you can see, I put a number on the final chapter. I laid out all my ideas for this fic and decided to end it at 36. I don’t wanna milk this one out too much, to the point where it starts getting boring. I already have some ideas for the next ones so don’t worry. 
> 
> 2nd. - Now they enter a new phase on their relationship, and the chapters will reflect that. I will space the updates a little bit, focusing on longer chapters, on a slower pace. Their first contact was electric, hot, full of passion, but now they are going steady. That means new adventures, but also new problems. 
> 
> 3rd - I’m also gonna update now one at a time. This is the last double one. Some of your are having trouble keeping up xD I don’t wanna overwhelm you guys haha
> 
> 4th - You guys can talk to me on Twitter @Ao3SoulLove :D
> 
> Now, enjoy! Soundtrack for this one: No Regrets - Magic!

 

_ Wow, Blake’s mom is NOT happy right now.  _

 

_ “BLAKE TOLLISON SHELTON!”  _ I could hear her blasting from the speaker of his phone as they were FaceTiming. “ _ Care to explain why your mom, the woman that GAVE BIRTH to you has to find out that you’re dating through some MAGAZINE _ ?  _ Have I taught you nothing _ ?”

 

“Mom, okay…. Jeeez..” His hands went through his hair, exasperated. I was at the kitchen, giving him space to tell his mom about us, but I was so worried that I couldn’t help but peek a sneak every now and them. “I was on my way to tell you, I swear… It’s new, we had a lot to figure out before coming clean with family and friends. She just told her parents yesterday.”

 

I couldn’t stop twitching my fingers, waiting for what she was going to say about me. Would she like the idea of his son dating someone so different from him? Not only that, but someone with such a dark past? I had no clue. If she really doesn’t like me, would that mean our ending? She was seriously pissed.

 

_ “Is it true? What they printed out on that magazine?” _

 

“Some of that, yeah.” 

 

“ _ About her kids?”  _ Blake simply nodded. “ _ Oh…”  _ She paused. _ “Are you really telling the truth about breaking the news to me _ ?”

 

“ _ Y _ es, mom _. _ We decided that a couple days ago.” 

 

“ _ Okay, then. When are you bringing her to me _ ?” Blake stopped breathing, so did I. He didn’t know I was listening, so he didn’t know what to answer. “ _ Don’t you dare to say that you are not bringing her here, I swear to God-” _

 

“How about Thanksgiving?” He interrupted her, trying to calm her down. “I have to clear the schedule with Gwen, but…”

 

“ _ Thanksgiving is perfect. I could tell from the picture she is too thin for my taste. I’ll have her eat some of my best dishes and she’ll walk out of here at least 10 pounds heavier. Are you not feeding her _ ?” Blake let out a big laugh. That was a good sign, right? That she cared about my health? It’s been so long since I met parents for the first time that I couldn’t remember how to do this. 

 

“Mom, I specifically remember telling her that I would put on some meat in her bones. I even cooked her your special butter and garlic steak. Remember when I asked you the recipe? But she just eats like a bird.” They laughed again, the sound so similar that it almost seemed only one person laughing. Blake definitely got that from his mama. 

 

“ _ Well, that pretty little bird is going to have a Oklahoma-style treatment when she gets here.” _

 

“Okay mom. Talk to you later. Love you.”

 

“ _ Love you too, sweetheart.” _

 

He finished the call and got up, coming to the kitchen. So I hurried up to the sink and pretended I was busy with the dishes. 

 

“Sooo… I kinda agreed on taking you to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving. Mom really wants to meet you.” He announced, scretching his head, coming closer as I turned around, drying my hands with a dishcloth. “I hope it’s okay with you.”

 

“Yeah, sure! So, what does she think of me? Did she say anything?”

 

“Only that she will force-feed you until you are balloon with arms”, he answered, laughing, then came to hug me, sensing that I was nervous. “Which is a good thing, I promise. She likes to feed people.”

 

I breathed his scent, closing my eyes and relaxing. 

 

“So, what time is our flight?” I asked, still hugging him tight. Although I loved meeting his friends, I was  _ so ready  _ to be away from this craziness. 

 

“Uhm…” He said, looking at his watch. “We still have a couple hours to spare before going to the airport.” I looked up, interested. “And I have some pretty good ideas on how to pass the time....”

 

I smiled and let him take me to the bedroom.

 

\----------------------------------

 

We got to Cleveland a little past noon, and Blake had to go to soundcheck at the venue he was playing later that night. So I went to the hotel to work a bit. 

 

My inbox was flooded with messages from Lizzie. Something went wrong with our fabric delivery and most likely our orders from retailers would delay.  _ No, no, no, this cannot happen.  _ We would launch the new collection very soon and it had to be perfect. This would mean bad press, complaints, bad sales, terrible beginnings… It was absolutely crucial that every little thing would go down smoothly on our official arrival on American stores, and a delay like that would be our death. Just when I was away from the office.  _ Perfect.  _

 

So I spent five hours on the phone with everyone I could talk to. If the janitor guy on the harbor could help speed things along, I called him too. That’s how I discovered that our merchandise was stuck on IRS due to a simple typo on the documents. 

 

After all the taxes were paid, every paper in the history of the world were signed and delivered, I hang up with a promise that everything would be at our distribution center next week to be sorted out and sent to the retailers. This was right under our deadline, so I took a deep breath, relieved. 

 

I was so worried and focused on solving this nightmare that I completely missed Blake arriving at our room. When I finished the last call to Lizzie to let her know the details and turned around, there he was, laying on the bed, with his hands behind his head, looking at me with a foolish smile on his face. 

 

“What?” I asked, mirroring his smile. It was involuntary. 

 

He shook his head, getting up and coming closer to me. “Nothing, it’s just… I’m here for at least an hour and you didn’t notice me. I got to see you in action, all business and focus…” He hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “It was amazing. You’re so good at what you do. It baffles me.” My heart grew twice as big. “And also, it turns me on.” I laughed out loud, throwing my head back. “Can you promise you’ll use that  _ boss voice _ with me tonight?”

 

_ Dear Lord,  _ he was unbelievable. “Only if you behave badly.” He got the naughtiest boyish smile on his face.

 

“You’re like a bad Santa… I like it.” I laughed and kissed him sweetly. My giant goofball.

 

“I’ll see you in action tonight too, right? First time live…. I’m so excited!” I squeezed him, shaking, and he laughed.

 

“Yeah, and I chose a very good place for your debut. The venue is sold out.” I was shocked. “40 thousand people.”

 

“OH MY GOD, BLAKE!” I screamed. “That is amazing! I’m so proud of you already!”

 

He looked at me like he couldn’t believe it. “Really?”

 

“Of course I am! I mean, who does that? 40 THOUSAND people bought tickets to see you on a thursday! I don’t know much about music industry, but I don’t think it’s that common. Right?” 

 

He let out an embarrassed laugh. “No, it’s not.”

 

“Then why wouldn’t I be proud of you?”

 

“I don’t know, I just.... Never had that.”

 

“What?” 

 

“Someone in my corner like that.”

 

Blake was sweet, funny, a true gentleman, caring and smart. But he’s been neglected so much already. Just seeing his shy smile, almost afraid of getting excited with the fact that he would be playing for so many people, made my heart break. 

 

“I will be on your corner as long as you let me.” 

 

 

\--------------

 

 

_ Holy shit.  _ Now I was understanding what “40 thousand people” meant in terms of space. The stadium was packed. It didn’t look like it would fit in much more people, still the line on the entrance was huge. I held his hand tighter, smiling so much my cheeks could fall off. 

 

He met some of his fans before the show, and it amazed me how good he was with them, specially with kids. He would kneel on the floor, give them a bear hug and ask about their grades, their hobbies and such, genuinely interested. It made me really emotional. He would talk to their parents, whom were really startstruck, but he was so humble, so normal, that soon everybody felt right at home. 

 

And he didn’t stop smiling once. 

 

The concert itself was out of this world. He had the crowd on the palm of his hand. And it was the same thing in all three cities. Same behavior backstage meeting fans, same cool stage presence on the show. I stood by the side of the stage, recording everything on my phone and singing along, unable to take my eyes off of him. 

 

At one point, in New Jersey’s concert, a little girl stood on her father’s shoulders and put up a poster, saying that it was her 10th birthday that day and it was her dream to hug him. So Blake stopped the show and ask the security guards to bring her onstage. She cried so much that she was barely able to tell her name, Hannah. Blake got her on his arms and sang a whole song with her,  _ God Gave Me You _ , returning her safely to her father afterwards.

 

It made me really miss my boys. How Blake would be with them? How they would react to their mom’s new boyfriend? Kingston was super protective of me, going in front of me everywhere we went, looking after me, despite his young age. He would probably be wary of Blake at first, but Zuma….. Zums was pure energy, doing multiple activities at once. He would nag Blake take him hunting and fishing, asking him to teach him all kinds of things about birds, trees, rocks…

 

This would be my first birthday without them. I was surprised to see how long it took me to realize that fact. Blake’s influence, I guess.... He was doing such a good job distracting me from that fact that I only thought about it on my birthday morning. 

 

I woke up really early, despite leaving for New York right after the concert and arriving at our hotel pretty late. I had nothing better to do, as Blake was still asleep, so I just laid there, looking at the ceiling, thinking about how unbelievable my life was. 

 

Blake stirred and woke up not too long after. I gazed at him, and he smiled, mind still foggy from slumber. 

 

“Hi birthday girl.. How long are you awake?”

 

“Not too long.”

 

“Come here, I want to be the first to give you a birthday hug.” I came closer, snuggling in his open arms. He held me tight, stroking my hair. “Happy birthday, sweetheart… I can’t believe that I get to spend this day with you. Everyday I thank God for trusting that I was a good enough guy to deserve you.” I started crying silently, not wanting to ruin the moment. “You wow me with your strength, with your kindness and willpower. I’m learning so much from you... Never in my wildest dreams I thought I was going to meet you, but I can’t thank you enough for letting me love you.” 

 

The ‘silent cry’ train had gone away somewhere along his speech, because now I was sobbing. 

 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you cry! I’m so sorry, baby girl…” He kissed my forehead until I was calm enough to answer him.

 

“You are the best birthday gift I could ask for.” 

 

“Thank you, darlin.” He kissed me so sweetly on my lips. Smiling, he continued. “Now, are you ready to start your birthday celebrations?” 


	24. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm warning you: PREPARE THE TISSUES!
> 
> Music: Angel Eyes - The Jeff Healey Band

_How do you celebrate the birthday of the woman of your life? You ask her friends._

 

So I went on a quest to find out who could help me with that. I asked Behati, who asked a girl named Sarah, that worked with Gwen and had introduced Bee to her, who sent Lizzie’s contact to me, whom I talked to on my way back to our hotel in Cleveland after soundcheck.

 

Lizzie was Gwen’s assistant and a friend of hers from Milan, so the two of them knew each other a long time.

 

“Hi Lizzie, how are you? My name is Blake, I don’t know if Gwen told you about me.”

 

 _“Oww she told me alright. No need to tell me, boy. Her grin tells it all. You’re the reason that she took time off from the office for the first time since I can remember.”_ I laughed. She was great. _“How can I help you?”_

 

“It’s gonna be her birthday on Monday and she and I will be at New York for her meetings. Do you have an idea on how we can celebrate? I want to be really special, since it’s her first with me…. And without her children.”

 

 _“Wow, you’re so thoughtful! That means a lot, Blake. Before everything, Gwen really liked dancing. I don’t know if you dance, but maybe you can find some place that plays some jazz, blues… She will love that.”_ I wasn’t the best dancer in the world, but I could manage.

 

“Dancing, noted. What about gifts? What can I get her?”

 

“ _Okay, Gwen doesn’t care about expensive things, she rather receive things with meaning, something that shows how much thought the giver put into choosing that gift, you know_?”

 

“Lizzie, I love you already. You helped so much. This cowboy here is eternally in debt with you.” She let out a big laugh.

 

“ _Send me a box of chocolates and you’ll be fine.”_ We laughed, and she added, this time a little more serious. “ _Oh, and Blake_ ? _Don’t leave her kids out. As much as it is sad that they are not here anymore, she doesn’t want to forget them. So, if you could, try to include their memory on that day so she can see that you care about them too.”_

 

 _“_ Thanks for everything, Lizzie. I’ll do that.”

 

“ _Take care of my girl.”_

 _“_ I will.”

 

What could I get that represents so much? Something for her to remember her boys, her journey and, at the same time, my love for her? As the car went down the road, I looked at the window and saw the answer.

 

 

\--------------------------------

 

“Now, are you ready to start your birthday celebrations?”

 

She looked at me suspiciously. “Celebrations as in more than one? What do you have planned?”

 

I jumped out of bed, crazy excited. “First things first. Your gift.” I went over my bag, fishing for the tiny bag I had hidden when she was on the shower.

 

“Blake…” She started scolding me when I handed her the bag.

 

“I had a little help. Well, a lot of help.”

 

“From who?” She looked at me but she was more curious about the present, so she started unpacking it.

 

“Behati, Sarah and, lastly, Lizzie.” Her head snapped at me, complete surprise on her face. “I promised Lizzie the biggest box of chocolates I could find. Don’t let me forget.”

 

She smiled, her eyes filling with tears already. “Why did you go through all that trouble?”

 

“I wanted to be special.”

 

Inside the bag, it was a tiny box with a bracelet inside, from a brand called Pandora. I’ve seen my sister with that kind of jewelry once and thought that it was something that Gwen would like. Because along with the bracelet, I put these little charms, each one representing a part of her life.

 

“So, here you have a wine glass, representing how we met... Here it is a little pizza, representing Italy… they didn’t have the flag, I’m sorry, so I had to wing it…. Here is a dress, the only thing I could think of representing your job… A little cupcake because I know how much you like them... Now you see a little angel and a star, symbolizing your boys… and here I added a heart… you know, my heart. Which is yours.”

 

“Wow, Blake… That is…. Oh my God... “ She put one hand on her mouth, really struggling to find the right words.

 

“Did you like it, right?” I looked into her eyes, worried and expectant.

 

“Oh my God, yes! You remembered my children…. My work… Everything…. Even the cupcake! This is perfect, I’m never taking it off, never. Thank you so much!” She jumped at me and I held her tight. “How is it possible that I love you this much?”

 

“I’m really glad you liked it, baby girl. Want to put it on now?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

I circled her wrist with it and closed it. She took a moment to admire it, passing her fingers through the charms, smiling like crazy.

 

“Now, we have some hours to kill until our next stop. Do you feel like wandering around?”

 

“Yes!” She jumped. “I would really like to visit a couple retailers…..”

 

“No, no, no!” I interrupted her with a kiss. “You’ll work tomorrow. Today, we’ll go to the Central Park, eat bad hot dogs and switch our shirts with those _I LOVE NY_ ones. I mean it!”

 

She threw her head back laughing. “Okay, Mr. New York… Show me your ways.”

 

We did all that and more, spending all day out, visiting the main places. Her smile was as big as it could be, and I was so happy to see my girl enjoying her day. It was almost sunset when we stopped by Central Park to sit for a while. She rested her head on my shoulders as I spread my arm across hers, thinking that life couldn’t get much better than that.

 

“Thank you. For so many more things than I can count.”

 

“You’re welcome, baby.” I kissed the top of her head. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Happy. Content. Nostalgic. This day has been so perfect that I almost feel guilty for missing my boys.”

 

“It’s completely normal, Gwen. Don’t beat yourself up over that. Do you want to tell me a little bit about them?” Her smile widened and she turned her body to face me.

 

“Kings was the oldest. I remember taking the test to find out if I was pregnant. My God, I thought I’d never been happier. I wanted a baby so damn much. When he was born, he was the most amazing baby ever. Quiet, peaceful… and he continued that way. He was so much wiser than boys his age, you know? Super protective of me, too. Totally opposite from Zums. Zuma was a force of nature, uncontrollable, always doing five things at once. He was a very rowdy child, but also a kind, lovable one.” She stopped, looking into my eyes. “I think they would love you.”

 

“You do?”

 

“A real-life cowboy? They would be crazy about you, asking you to teach them all kinds of things.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about something later… If you’d like, how about we set up a foundation to help kids from abusive homes? Give them a shelter and a time to be simply kids again…. That way we can honor your boys’ memories.”

 

Her entire face lit up, eyes widen and pooling with tears.

 

“Blake, that’s so amazing! Of course I’d love that!”

 

“Perhaps we can do something for the moms too. We’ll think about it when we get back. The important is that you are in.”

 

She smiled at me, than her eyes laid down on her bracelet. She played with it for a bit, thinking about everything. We stayed in silence for a long time, until she said.

 

“Just so you know… My heart is yours too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna hear what you guys think of that one! :D


	25. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUPER LONG ASS CHAPTER to compensate the fact that this one comes alone hahaah
> 
> Music by Wings - Birdy

_Blake took me jazz dancing. How long has it been since I last did that_?

 

The entire New York experience was surreal. It started with my birthday, when I got pampered and spoiled all day long. Blake truly outdid himself, just when I thought that man couldn’t be anymore perfect. At night, he took me to a jazz club, where we slow-danced all night long. He wasn’t much of a dancer, but it was worth the intention. And I was so happy and in love that it didn’t matter one bit. We ended up making love in our hotel room until the sun came up.

 

And his idea for a foundation was something that I couldn't quite believe yet. How can someone be so invested in you to come up with and suggestion like that, without even knowing personally your kids? I realized that it was one of the things about Blake that made me break out of my shell and let myself love him: he didn't have to say the words all the time; his actions would tell me he loved me, he cared about be. And that couldn't be faked.

 

The next few days were a blurry mix of meetings, retailers visits and contract deals. Some of my team had met me there to help with the negotiations, but I did most of the talking, including visiting some NY-based magazines and chit-chatted with their editors. It was crucial that I had the best relationship possible with them.

 

I had successfully secured a spot for L.A.M.B. on the next New York Fashion Week, which still was hard to wrap my head around. That would mean not only our debut on the East Coast, but also a huge network and media buzz. I was beyond excited.

 

Blake gladly stayed behind letting me do my thing, enjoying the time off to write new music for his upcoming album. Each one better than the other. For three days, that was our routine: I would come back from meetings completely exhausted, he would give me a glass of wine to help me relax and I would listen to his work, helping whenever I could.

 

It almost felt like we were married.

 

But, sadly, we had to go back to reality. Our arrival on LAX was bittersweet, as it felt like our little NY bubble had burst. He drove me home but didn’t stay, because he had some meetings regarding the new The Voice season first thing in the morning..

 

I was so used to sleeping next to him, feeling his warmth and listening to his soft and steady breathing that I rolled on the bed all night long, unable to fall asleep. At 3:30 in the morning, I gave up and texted him.

 

_Cant sleep without you. You spoiled me. Gx._

 

He quickly replied, showing that I wasn’t the only one having trouble adjusting to real life again.

 

_Me too. Miss your scent next to me._

 

 _Remind me why we slept apart again_? Gx

 

_I thought you were sick of me already._

 

_Never! Please let’s never do that again. Gx_

 

_Deal. Now close your eyes and pretend I’m there, baby girl. See you tomorrow._

 

_Love you. Gx_

 

 

_\------------------_

 

 

On the weekend, Behati and Adam invited us for dinner at their house, our first double date as a couple. We giggled like little kids the entire way, trying to maintain composure as the adults that we were supposed to be.

 

That’s how Adam found us when he opened the door, laughing hysterically about some joke Blake told me as soon as I rang the doorbell.

 

“Well, for all I can see, all that tension between the two of you is long gone, right?” He mocked us, “Welcome, Gwen. Bee is at the kitchen finishing everything up.” He greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll only let this moron inside because he came with you.” He tried to sound irritated, but one look at Blake’s grin was all it took for him to burst into laughter too.

 

“Hi, buddy.. I’ve missed you.” Blake gave him one of his bear-kissy hugs, which was hilarious.

 

“The hell you missed me, you were with your _giiiiiirl.._ Get off of me you jerk!” Adam tried to free himself, but Blake was too huge for that.

 

They stayed at the patio and I went to the kitchen to help Behati.

 

“I’m so happy that you guys are here! We have so much to talk about, honey! How was Nashville?” She welcomed me while taking the lasagna out of the oven.

 

“I’m glad we came, girl. Thank God you warned me, because it was _crazy_. From magazine covers to ex run-ins, I had the full Nashville experience. You wouldn't believe it.”.

 

“You ran into Miranda?” She snapped her head to me, shocked.

 

“On the first night.” I confirmed.  “It was my ‘welcome to the city’ moment.”

 

“Oh God. How bad was it?”

 

“She tried to come at me but I bitch-slapped her. It was funny.” Behati laughed out loud.

 

“I would gladly chop an arm and a leg to see that live! And how are things with Blake?”

 

“Better than ever.” I made heart dreamy eyes for her and she laughed. “I honestly can't believe that it was a time that I tried to run away from this. I was really a really stupid girl before.”

 

“It’s a good thing that he didn't give up on you, then.”

 

He chatted and laughed all way through dinner, Bee and Adam telling me all kinds of stories about Blake. Until one moment, when Adam stopped and grabbed Bee’s hand.

 

“So, guys… there's another reason why we invited you here.”

 

Blake looked at their hands together and his jaw dropped. “ _Nooo_.. Are you-”

 

“YES!” Behati yelled, and I still hanging in the air, looking on each face around me in search for an answer.

 

“Bee is pregnant!” Adam said, squirming.

 

“OH MY GOD!!!” I screamed, jumping from my seat to hug her. “Congratulations, honey! How far along are you _?_ ”

 

“Just hit my 10th week.”

 

Blake got off his seat to hug Adam too. “Congrats, man. I know how much you’ve wanted this.” He hugged Bee too, caressing her _barely-there_ belly _._ “This poor little one will be raised by Adam…. Oh Lord, protect this child!”

 

“Oh shut up! You know that the baby's _uncle Blake_ is the one that's gonna do the worst damage.” Adam said, laughing. Blake couldn't stop smiling, specially after hearing the words _uncle Blake._

 

“Yes, _I’m gonna save you from your daddy, yes I am!”_ He said in a baby voice to Bee’s stomach, whom was crying with laughter.

 

  

When got back to my apartment it was pretty late. I kept quiet the entire drive, just thinking how it was when I found out I was pregnant. That glow, that anticipation… dreaming about nurseries, baby clothes, maternity clothes… seeing my belly getting bigger and bigger and simply being unable to contain all the excitement to be a mom for the rest of my life. My reality now was something so absurd back then that it didn't even appeared on my worst nightmares.

 

I never asked Blake if he wanted to have kids. He was a natural with children, anyone could see that, but I never asked whether he wanted them or not, or why he wasn't a father yet.

 

I probably couldn't get pregnant anymore, right? At 46, I'm pretty sure my insides are all rusty and malfunctioning. But we’d see older women getting pregnant everyday on the news, so maybe it was a possibility?

 

 _Wait_ , I wanted kids?

 

“I can see smoke coming out of your ears, baby girl…” Blake called me when we parked in front of my building. “What are you thinking so hard?”

 

I shook my head, but didn't answer until we got inside my place.

 

“Do think about that? Kids, I mean.”

 

“There was a time that I really wanted that, yeah.” He answered honestly, putting his hands in his pockets. “Back when Miranda and I got married. But I got tired of being shot down every time I’d ask, so I stopped asking.”

 

“What she used to say?”

 

“That's _right now_ was not the moment, that she was just starting her career… and it was _selfish of me_ nag her so much about that.”

 

“She was cruel. Well, still is.”

 

He nodded, agreeing. “Yeah. So I just figured out that kids weren't really for me.”

 

“And how do you feel about now?” I shyly asked, afraid of the answer. The question took him by surprise.

 

“Uhm.. I don't know, didn't really think much about that until this moment. Why are you bringing this up now?”

 

“It's just… you got so happy with Adam and Bee’s news, and I started wondering why you didn't have any of your own…”

 

“Darlin, right now, I’m beyond happy with the way things are. If we get pregnant one day, I’ll love it, but if we don't…”

 

“But I probably can't have babies anymore. I just turned 46. I don't want this to be another one on the list of things that you can't have now that you're with me.”

 

Instead of being serious about the subject, he laughed. “Don't worry, dear, I gave up on sanity a long time ago…” I punched his arm and it only made him laugh more. “But you don't know that. When the time comes, if you really want to know, we’ll visit some doctors, alright? As for now, I just really wanna enjoy your company.”

 

“Okay, but you promise to tell me if you ever change your mind?” I went over him, finding my sweet spot inside his arms.

 

“Don't worry. Also, if it never works out for us, we can always spoil the hell out of Adam and Bee’s baby and let the moron deal with the monster we’ll create.” I exploded in laughs and so did he.

 

We spent three whole weeks in pure bliss, living like the most normal couple ever. We would get together at night in one of our houses and tell each other about our day. It was easy, comfortable, uncomplicated. It was hard to believe that we’ve known each other for so little time, because it felt like ages.

 

But when the official memo about Milan Fashion Week came at the office, I knew I had an uphill battle coming my way.

 

Not only because I didn’t know if Blake could come too, it would also be the first time back in Italy, where I left all bad memories. On top of that, Gavin was awake. For what Todd said, he was still in the hospital, but he could not leave the facility and had a police officer with him 24/7. My mind knew I would be safe, that he couldn’t possibly come after me, but there was no way my heart would believe that too.

 

I didn’t want to remember all the nights I’ve spent holding my children for dear life, locked in my bedroom of my heavily guarded house after threats and violent episodes, crying dead quiet not to wake the boys. I would pretend to my friends and family that everything was okay, that Gavin had accepted things well and we were moving on, but when he broke in holding a gun and pointing it at me, despite having his own children playing in the next room, unaware of what was going on, I didn’t have much choice. I had to tell my parents everything, move in with them in their gated community, ask for a restraining order and file for full custody.

 

It saved me, but it didn’t save Kingston and Zuma.

 

In his plea to the judge, he said he had ‘lost his mind momentarily’ and ‘deeply regretted everything’ he did. He lied and said he was going to therapy for anger management, but I knew very well it was the last thing he would do. Gavin swore he would never do anything to harm ‘the love of his life’ that were his kids. The jury than issued a restraining order for me, but granted him one last visit to see them. But this was his plan all along. Ever since I had given birth, he knew he would never have to lay a hand on me. Better yet: he knew the fastest and most efficient way to leave the worst damage possible in me was to simply target the boys.

 

He was _that_ psychopath.

 

So, on that day, he took the boys out of the park they were at, saying they would just go for an ice cream down the road. Todd was there, supervising the visit, and when he denied, Gavin knocked my brother unconscious, forced the boys inside the car and drove off.

 

Some days ago, the investigator called me to confirm that indeed they found traces of flunitrazepam, or Rohypnol, on my boys’ tissue samples. It made me feel relieved in some way, because that meant they didn’t suffer. Also, it meant that Gavin premeditated the whole thing. His arrest warrant was immediately issued and he would probably get life sentence.

 

It would never bring Kings and Zums back, but he would pay for what he did.

 

Still, I had to go back to Milan at some point, to visit my family, the company, my old friends. I had a life there before and couldn’t let Gavin take one more thing away from me. Blake’s presence would mean the world to me, it would definitely calm me down and help me cope. But he happened to be a busy country singer with millions of projects. I didn’t have the right to ask him one more sacrifice, not only when he already did so much for me.

 

I spent all dinner that night in silence, barely touching my food, not knowing how to introduce the topic to the table. We were at his place, and he had cooked us fajitas, which I loved, but couldn’t bring myself to eat. He landed his spoon on his bowl and looked at me.

 

“You’ve been dead silent all night. What’s wrong, sweetie?”

 

“Okay.” I inhaled deeply, mustering the courage. “Here it goes. I have to come back to Italy soon for work, and my family really wants to meet you. It would also mean the world to me if you came, but I understand I can’t ask you to drop everything and just hop on a plane across the fucking ocean just because-” I started rambling, nervous. He took my hand and shushed me, gently.

 

“Gwen. Who says I’m not going? I would love to. I’ve never been to Italy. The Voice tapings don’t start till December, and the label guys will survive without me for a couple days.”

 

“Really?” I couldn’t believe it. “You can come?”

 

“Of course, dear. And you’re my girlfriend, you can ask me whatever the hell you want.”

 

“Don’t say that to me again or you’ll never hear the end of it.” I said, smiling.

 

“When do you have to go?”

 

“First week of november, for Milan Fashion Week.”

 

“Let me just check for concerts, but I think we’re good.”

 

He had just one event, but it was on the first day I had to be there. So it was settled that I would go first and he would meet me there next day.

 

He drove me to the airport on the day of my trip, and the entire time I held his hand tight, almost scared of letting go. Why the hell was I going alone? I could have waited for him. Opening day could go fuck itself.

 

When we arrived, he kissed my hand so sweetly, stroking it with his thumb.

 

“You nervous?”

 

“A bit. First time going back, you know? Kicking myself in the butt for going without you.”

 

“Nonsense.” He said and I laughed, loving the thick southern accent on that word. “I’ll be there before you realize. I’m gonna finish everything real quick and then I’ll hop on the fastest plane so you’ll won’t even notice you’re there without me. Promise.”

 

“Okay.” We kissed for the longest time and then we had to say our goodbyes.

 

Between connections, flights and time zone, it took me over 18 hours to get to Milan. When I arrived, at 12 o’clock their time on the next day, looking like something that just went through a blender, my dad was waiting for me.

 

“ _Papà!”_ I dropped my bag and ran over to him. I didn’t realize I’ve missed my dad so much.

 

 _“Ah, c'è la luce dei miei occhi!”_ He greeted me with open arms, saying that I was the light of his eyes. “You’re too far away from me, sweetie. I miss my little girl.”

 

“I miss you too, daddy.”

 

“C’mon, let’s go. Your mom is waiting with a full lunch and your niece is probably rowdy with all the anticipation.” He said, grabbing my suitcase from the floor.

 

“I’m dying to meet her!” I intertwined my arm with his, resting my head on his shoulder as we walked out the airport.

 

“You’ll love her. She reminds me of you so much.”

 

“Really? Why is that?”

 

“I don’t know, I just.. Miss the time when you were that little. When your biggest worry was the next lunch break.” We laughed. "I wish I could protect you so easily like back then.”

 

“Aw, daddy… I know I’ve been through a lot, so has everyone… But the worst has passed, I’m sure.”

 

He kissed the top of my head and we drove home.

 

Stella was indeed the most beautiful angel ever. I went straight to her crib as soon as I finished hugging and greeting everyone. And now was lying peacefully on my arms.

 

“So… Gwen… Mom told us there’s a new boyfriend coming tomorrow?” Todd wore the _big brother_ face, even though he was five years younger than me.

 

“Yes.” I tried looking serious too but failed miserably. “His name is Blake, and he’s a singer. A country singer.”

 

“But he is a struggling new artist? Does he have a steady income?” Dad asking the _dad questions_.

 

“Not at all, _papà._ He’s very established in his business and has millions of fans. One of the biggest names in country, dad.” But my father wasn’t too impressed.

 

“Still, I’ll have a quick chat with him about his investments. If you’re not careful, one day you have it all and on the next..”

 

There was no point in saying that Blake probably had a whole team just to take care of that part. It was good that my father was worried, it would give him a subject to talk about with Blake. Maybe they could bond over that and some of my fears would be uncalled for.

 

“Okay, daddy.”

 

Despite all my worries, it was so good being surrounded by my family again. Being this peaceful, with my brother’s brand new baby on my arms, casually chatting without a dark stormy cloud over our heads like those past months felt so right, so normal. But I was missing Blake already, and couldn’t wait to have him by my side again.

 

On that night, he texted me saying that he was boarding in and would be with me in no time. Well, in 20 hours. So I spent all day going from one fashion show to another, giving interviews and talking to fellow designers. But when the alarm on my phone rang, saying that it was time to pick up Blake on the airport, I dropped everything and ran out of the party I was at.

 

Blake was finally in Italy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLAKE IS IN ITALY!! How that's gonna go, huh??
> 
> Leave your bets on comments!!


	26. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm super mean leaving you all these days without an update, huh? *evil laughter*  
> But here it is, the long awaited chapter about Blake in Italy!
> 
> Music for the first half: Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur and last half: Sex and Candy - Maroon 5.

 

_ If you told me back then that going inside a liquor store would bring me all the way to Europe, I would probably take you to a mental hospital. _

 

But, here I am, waiting for my bag to arrive before meeting my italian girlfriend on her country. Across the goddamn ocean. 

 

Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful experience, one I would probably never have if it wasn't for her. 

 

But I'm a guy that likes the ground. That likes what he knows. I'm the happiest when I'm at my ranch in Oklahoma, taking care of the same animals and the same plantations I know since I can remember. I own a plane simply because I'm too big for commercial flights, and the freedom of flying at any giving time allows me to work better my schedule with concerts and stuff. 

 

I only have a passport because Luke does a festival in Mexico every year and I played there one time. But that's pretty much it. 

 

When I told my sister Endy that I was going to Italy, se laughed so hard on the phone that she fell out of her seat. I’ve just left my country, my work and the life I know to follow a girl across the globe. 

 

Any more whipped than this I’d be a cake frosting. 

 

But even the tiniest amount of regret was long gone the moment I laid eyes on the most beautiful woman on the planet, all dressed up and holding a sign that said “King of Country” at the end of the Arrival Gate, which happened to be my girlfriend.

 

“Welcome to Italy, baby”, she closed the distance between us, put the sign on top of my cart and basically jumped in my arms. “Have you ever imagined yourself hearing these words?” She kissed me so tenderly, caressing my cheek with her thumb. I would probably have swimmed all the way here just to feel that again.

 

“I’ll be honest with you… never”, she laughed, because she knew it was the truth. “But I’m glad I do now.”

 

“Me too, baby… Now let's go, there is an entire clan waiting to meet you.”

 

I didn't know what to expect of her family. Were they friendly and easygoing or more of the “Godfather” vibe? Gwen wouldn’t tell me anything, but it couldn’t be that bad, right? I wouldn’t judge if they go tough on me, given the unspeakable tragedy her ex-husband put the entire family through. I just had to show them how much I love this girl, how much I care for her, then I think I’ll be fine. 

 

When we arrived at her parents house in a wealthy gated community, I prepared myself to be extra charming, displaying my dimples in the hopes of stealing everyone’s hearts with my southern charm, just like I did with their daughter. 

 

“Blake, meet the Stefani family.  _ Mamma, papà,  _ this is Blake.” Gwen introduced us, all shaky and smiling nervously. “And this is my brother, Todd, and his wife, Jenny.”

 

“Nice to meet you, sir”, with her dad, a firm handshake, to show him I was not some wuss. “Thanks for having me at your house.”

 

“Please, call me Dennis. It’s our pleasure, son.” Although his words were friendly, I could see a hint of suspicion coming from him. I nodded and turned to greet Gwen’s mom. 

 

“Hello, Mrs. Stefani.” With the mom, an extra charm. “Now I see where Gwen get her good looks.” Everyone laughed, she looked at me blushing and my job was done. Mom was already on Team Blake. 

 

“Oh, you’re too kind. Just call me Patti, dear.”

 

I greeted Todd - who was very closed up and frowned, so he would require a different approach -, and Jenny soon after and we got inside. Gwen and I stayed behind the group. She touched my chest and whispered “Everything okay?” I nodded and kissed the top of her head. 

 

We would be having dinner on their backyard, where it was a huge table with all kinds of dishes. We all sat down and, despite my initial fears, they were willing to give me a chance of impressing them. Gwen was by my side, our hands together the entire time and, whenever she talked, I’d get lost in her, staring at her talking, forgetting for a minute that everyone were probably noticing how much of a nut case I was, like a boy crushing on his teacher or something. But she was so beautiful and so content that it was hard to care about anything else. 

 

I recomposed myself and looked at Todd, who was intensely watching us, with a puzzled expression. Like he was trying to figure me out. So I excused myself and went to the kitchen to get more wine for all of us. As I expected, Todd followed me. 

 

“You really love her, don’t you?” He asked me when we arrived at the kitchen. So I turned around to face him. “It’s hard to miss.”

 

“Yes, I do. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I put both hands on the kitchen stand between us, being completely honest. 

 

Gwen had already told me that Todd was her best friend and, even though he was younger, he was very defensive with her. He was the last one to see her children alive, and was still battling with the guilt of not being able to stop their deaths. It was not an easy burden to carry. 

 

“I’ve been wrong before… I thought Gavin was like that too… And we all know how that turned out.”

 

“I’m not gonna tell you I’m different. There’s no point. I could spend an entire day here listing all the reasons I’m nothing like that scum of a guy, but you don’t know me, how can you trust what I’m saying? So, instead, I’m gonna show you. The first thing is being here, across the goddamn world just because she asked me to. I left everything I know back home and followed your sister. That’s how much I love her.” He nodded, thankful for not having to hear the  _ I’m your sister's’ savior  _ speech.

 

“The way she came home smiling... Just saying your name just... Lights her up, man.”

 

“Don’t think she didn’t put up a fight with me. I had to be very persistent. It took her a fucking long time to let herself feel this way.” He laughed.

 

“You have to understand that Gwen’s skin is still raw… She likes to act all tough for the outside world, but inside... “ He couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence. He didn’t have to. 

 

“This is one of the things I respect most about her, to be honest. She doesn’t let what happened to her define her.” 

 

“She had a strength nobody else saw it coming. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t fragile.”

 

“You have it too.” He looked at me, intrigued. “She told me how everything happened.” Todd lowered his head, pensive. 

 

“There isn’t a single day that that moment doesn’t pop in my head. I have thought about all the different things that could have happened, how could I have stopped him..”

 

“You couldn’t. You can’t possible know that.”

 

“Perhaps. We’ll never know.” He shrugged his shoulders. “But she didn’t blame me once.”

 

“She knows it’s not your fault.” 

 

“Still, I think it’s my job to make sure she never has to go through something remotely similar to that in her life again, you know?” He look straight into my eyes, and I understood what he meant.

 

“Yeah man… I don’t know what else I can tell you except that she is the most precious thing to me, and if it’s up to me, she’ll never cry again. I still don’t know how could someone do that to her… To his own kids…”

 

“We don’t know it either. And that’s what shocked us the most.”

  
  


After that, Todd was much more open with me, which I appreciated. We went back to the rest of the family, and Gwen looked at me with curiosity, but I simply kissed her cheek briefly, signalising that I would fill her in later. 

 

“So, Blake.. Gwen told us you were in the music business, is that correct?” Dennis changed the subject.

 

“Yes, sir. I’m also at a tv show called The Voice, where I help young artists with their talent. It’s where Gwen and I met, in fact.” I looked at her, and she smiled, reassuring me. 

 

“That’s nice, but what about your investments? It’s an unpredictable business, I’m sure…” Gwen looked at me with a  _ don’t mind him _ look on his face, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Yeah, it is… But I have some properties, some business outside the music industry… Even if it all falls apart, you know, music-wise, I’d still have some other things to keep me steady.”

 

“Like what?” 

 

“I own a ranch in Oklahoma, sir. I keep some cattle and plant mostly corn and wheat. That’s what I do when Hollywood is not keeping me busy.”

 

And we went on to talk about my plans, my investments and my financial future, while the others engaged on different conversations. Dennis knew a lot about economics, and I ended up enjoying the conversation. You can’t never learn too much about your money, and it was a nice bonding theme to talk about with Gwen’s father. 

 

Everyone went to bed not long after, and although I enjoyed the time with the Stefani's, I was more than ready to spend a little alone time with one of them in particular. 

 

“So, my little italian lady… How did I go with your family?” I asked, hugging her as soon as we closed the door to the bedroom we were staying. 

 

“I think you were really good, just your typical damn charming self.” She laid her head on my chest.

 

“You think?”

 

“Yeah.. Mom is a romantic at heart, she probably is already picturing our wedding.. And I think dad really loved the talk you both had about money… You listened without being condescendent or arrogant, taking him in consideration, you know?”

 

“Are you kidding me? I learned a lot tonight, you father knows so much about these things. What about your brother?”

 

She mover her head back to look at me. “I don’t know, you tell me… What did you guys talk about in the kitchen?”

 

“Well… He asked me if I love you, saying that he thinks I do, but he was wrong once before and didn’t want to be wrong again. So I told him I was not going to try and convince him with words, I would show him.”

 

She seemed impressed. “That’s a great answer, actually.”

 

“It’s not difficult. All I have to do is look at you.” I flashed my dimples and she melted. 

 

“You know…” She passed her hands over my chest and, just like that, the mood in the room changed. “I’ve been away from you for 36 hours… and I miss you...”

 

“Yeah?” I raised an eyebrow while she kissed my neck. “But we are at your parents’...”

 

“So?” She stared into my eyes, defiant. 

 

“So…. You have to be extra quiet not to wake them…” I tossed her into the bed, falling on top of her not long after. “If you can.”

 

My plan was to make it very difficult for her to be silent, and I knew exactly how to do that.

 

I kissed her neck while my hands travelled further down, exploring her body. She grabbed my hair and tugged it when I left a hickey on her collarbone, already failing to keep the volume down. She arched her back when I started lifting the delicate fabric of her polka-dot blouse to get it out of the way, along with her bra. 

 

I sucked one nipple, gently biting it, and she hissed.  _ Oh, this is going to be so much fun.  _

 

“I have a game for you.” I whispered at her sternal bone. 

 

She swallowed hard before answering. “What game?”

 

I left a trail of kisses in her stomach, taking my time to build the anticipation. “Well, I don’t wanna leave a bad impression with you family, letting them hear us having sex… So you’ll have to be a very good girl and be quiet…” I pulled the waist of her pants and underwear down really slow, kissing the skin of her legs as it appeared. “If you behave, I’ll reward you….” When I got to her feet, I took her heels out, as well as the rest of her clothes. I bit one of her toes, playing with her. “And if you be naughty, I’ll punish you.... Deal?”

 

Her voice was nothing more than a thin thread when she answered. “Deal.”

 

She was naked under me, looking like a damn angel sent straight from heaven just for me, with her porcelain skin and rose nipples, platinum hair all sprawled across the pillow. She waited impatiently for my next move, which I purposely dragged out. She snorted, wanting me to speed things out, but I moved a finger to the sides, saying no.

 

“Patience, baby girl.. It will be worth it.”

 

I started my way up from her feet, kissing and biting her legs. She squirmed, and I waited to see if she would break the deal, but she didn’t. I resumed my climb, going up until her center. She voluntarily opened her legs to me, exposing herself to me and making my dick impossibly harder. I took a long breath on her scent, followed by a slow and profound licking all over her pussy.. She moaned loud and I immediately stopped. 

 

“You are breaking our deal, baby doll..” I whispered. “I’ll have to punish you.”

 

“Oh God… Sorry, sorry...”

 

“I’ll be good to you this time, but shush.”

 

She nodded, eagerly. I came back to her core, this time with my fingers, and it took everything she had not to scream the way she likes to do. I kept the pace mercilessly, having the time of my life watching her grab the sheets to steady herself. 

 

I was this close to embarrass myself just by looking at her, all sweaty from the effort, her skin glowing under the pale moonlight that was entering the room by the open window. I was still fully clothed, my dick painfully jailed inside my jeans. 

 

I threw my tongue into the mix, and her legs started to wiggle. She was almost exploding with pleasure. The quick pace I was fucking her with my fingers was leaving her breathless, biting the pillow not to scream. 

 

But I knew what she was missing to cum. 

 

So I turned her over, now lying on her stomach, and continued penetrating her using my fingers. But, this time, I came from behind her, really close to her ear, and started messing with her head. 

 

“You don’t know how much I love seeing like this, baby… surrendered and about to lose your damn mind…” She arched her back, hissing like a kitty. “Shh.. What we are doing is forbidden, you don’t want to upset your parents, do you?” She simply nodded her head no, with her eyes closed. “I’d travel twice around the fucking globe if that’s what it took to see you like this under me… About to cum just with my fingers…” Her hands fisted the sheets and she lifted her butt up, giving me better access, so I started using my thumb on her clit. 

 

“Blake.. Oh God.... Please just let me….” She said and I stopped. “NO!” She almost screamed.

 

“You are making too much noise, breaking our deal… Your punishment is not cumming.”

 

She reached for my hair behind her, going insane with anticipation. 

 

“Don’t do this to me… I’ll be really good, just let me cum, please…”

 

“Will you be good?” I licked her earlobe and felt the goosebumps on her skin. 

 

“Yes, _ please _ …”

 

I decided to end her misery but leaving another hickey on her neck, increasing the pace and whispering in a deep, low voice. “Then cum for me, baby girl…”

 

I loved the way how it was all it would take for her to cum and fall apart in my hands, biting the pillow not to scream. I circled her clit to make her orgasm last longer, and she was trembling under me, taking deep breaths to calm her heart rate. 

 

As soon as she recovered herself, she turned around and started unbuttoning my shirt, hanging it from my shoulders and leaving it for me to take it off, while she worked on my pants. She flipped us, sitting on my lap with open legs, but the bed was making too much noise, so I lifted her up and threw the blanket on the floor, sitting down on top of it and bringing her with me. 

 

“Now down here we can move as much as we want…” I said, and she started lowering herself onto my dick. We both gasped when she went all the way, taking her sweet time before moving. Now was her time to torture me. 

 

She started moving  _ oh so  _ slowly, up and down, using my shoulders for support. My hands travelled her entire body, feeling, grabbing and touching every inch of her. He look right into my eyes, putting our foreheads together. My arms crossed behind her back, bringing her to me, impairing her movement but increasing our contact. Her hands went to my jawline and she pulled me closer to kiss me. 

 

I grabbed her waist to speed up, bringing her down to clash her hips into mine. We quickly became breathless, letting low and small moans slip through our lips. 

 

She started cumming again, clenching her insides and milking my dick, and I had no choice but follow her, swallowing her groans with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be shorter because there are great, super awesome things planned ahead for our favorite couple <3


	27. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet and sad chapter for today! 
> 
> Enjoy it while listening to Praying - Kesha (REALLY GOOD SONG, please listen) and River of Tears - Alessia Cara

_ Is that what happiness feels like _ ? 

 

It has been so long since I last felt this content and happy that I didn’t even remember what it’s like. But waking up in Italy, on my parents’ house, surrounded by Blake’s arms…. I don’t think it gets much better than that. 

 

I snuggled further inside his embrace, and he stirred and woke up, kissing my forehead before even opening his eyes. 

 

“Morning, beautiful.”

 

“How do you know I’m beautiful right now? You didn’t even open your eyes!” I laughed and he smiled, still with his eyes closed. 

 

“I don’t have to. You’re the most beautiful girl on the planet even with messy hair, which I caused from last night,” dramatic pause to flash me a naughty-dimpled smile, finally opening his eyes. 

 

“You are spoiling me rotten. Soon I’ll start believing what you are saying…”

 

“About damn time!” He exclaimed, his accent a little thicker. I had no response other then kiss him.

 

“What do you say we go downstairs for some coffee? I have one fashion show to attend today and then I’ll be your guide through this lovely town called Milan!” I was excited to explore the city with Blake, it would be so much fun.

 

“Uhm… Are you sure we can’t stay here all day?” He hugged me tighter and I almost said yes. “Alright. I’m just gonna take a shower really quick and meet you there.

 

When I got to the kitchen, my mom was already up, sipping her morning tea and looking at the window, pensive. 

 

“Morning,  _ mamma.”  _ I greeted her with a smile, approaching the coffee maker. “What are you thinking so hard?”

 

“Oh honey, good morning.” She turned around, lowering her tea to the counter. “I was thinking about you, actually.”

 

“About me? How come?”

 

“Nothing much, just… I’ve missed your smile. It’s nice to see it again.”

 

“Oh,  _ mamma _ …” I couldn’t help but smile again. 

 

“And I have a certain  _ cowboy  _ to thank, am I correct?”

 

“Yes.” My grin was ear-to-ear. “He makes me feel really good.”

 

“I have to confess, everyone here was apprehensive about meeting Blake. You saw how Todd got. We feared that, you know, it could lead to another traumatic experience.” She got closer and took my hands on hers. “But, at least for me, I think we have nothing to worry about.”

 

“That means a lot, mom. Thank you.” We got apart and as I poured my coffee, Blake appeared by the kitchen door, smiling at me. 

 

It’s funny how life works sometimes, isn’t it? Just earlier this year, I was at this same kitchen, doing almost this exact same thing, but I couldn’t be any more different. That Gwen was crushed, broken beyond repair, asking herself every morning how could she possible survive the horrific tragedy in her life.. 

 

That Gwen was desperate, subdued, at her lowest point in life, with not a single good outcome in her horizon. Everyone around her was feeling the same, walking around with this huge sword on top of their heads. 

 

The Gwen I was before everything couldn’t possibly love so deep and so selflessly the way I do now. The old Gwen wouldn’t have learned how much everyone around her meant for her, and most importantly, she didn’t know how to show it for them. She always worked too hard, till too late, putting everything first ahead of her family. 

 

But within a tragedy, there is always a silver lining. I had to learn, the hard way, to put my priorities in order, and to speak up when I felt something for someone. I learned that life is this beautiful, fragile thing, and we can’t take a single day for granted.

 

I thought that I was done, but I couldn’t be more wrong. It was only my new beginning. 

 

Because now, on that very same spot I stood so hopeless several months ago, my reward was looking at me with his baby blue eyes and a curious look on his face. Everything in me fell into place once I realized that Blake was my lesson and my gratification. The old Gwen would never do him justice. 

 

In order to be worthy of true love, I had to first walk through an entire valley of hell. 

 

He came closer, kissing the top of my head so effortlessly and saying good morning to my mom, who looked so in awe like she just saw an angel with wings and everything in the middle of her kitchen. 

 

Blake poured some coffee in a mug and stood by my side, with one arm on my waist, unaware of how much it meant to me having him by my side on that moment. I stroked his arm and looked at my mom.

 

“Mom, do you remember our talk about lessons?”

 

“Yes, dear. Why?”

 

“I think I understood mine.”

  
  


\-----------------------

 

I had a quick appearance scheduled at the first fashion show that day, so my beauty team in Italy was summoned to the house, just like yesterday. While they dolled me up in the bedroom, Blake was there with us, laid on the bed and watching me get ready. I told him repeatedly that he didn’t need to be there, that it must be so boring for him, but he didn’t listen. 

 

“Are you crazy? This is like watching a movie. I can’t wait to see what you’re going to look like at the end.”  _ Men are weird.  _

 

I opted for a more business-chic look, with tailored high-waisted black pants and a white silk blouse with ruffles on my chest. The pop of color was on my red 7-inch stilettos and on my lips. I was feeling an Old Hollywood vibe lately, so my hair was in soft curls and my makeup was basically a little black accent on my eyeliner and bright red lipstick. When I was finished, I went to Blake and did a little spin, so he could get the whole look. The look on his face told me he absolutely loved it, staring at me with an expression that meant I would probably have my makeup ruined if I didn't get out of that room right away. 

 

As we came down the stairs, my dad asked Blake if he wanted to go see some properties he had no too far away. This would give me time to do my thing and come back. 

 

The next two hours I spent juggling my attention between the catwalk and my phone, to see if Blake had sent me something. The radio silence probably meant he was having a good time, right?  _ Or that my dad was giving him a merciless interrogation _ , but I didn’t want to think too much about the latter. 

 

I was giving an interview to some fashion website at the end of the show  when I felt my phone vibrating with a text.  _ Great, just when I can’t look _ . So I finished the talk with the journalist and went straight to the car that was waiting for me. 

 

_ Hello, is this the phone of a super mega fashion designer star named Gwen _ ?  _ Because I have to tell her that I love her. _

He was such a dork. He was playing and still loved me, so everything went out ok, right?

 

_ Yes, this is she. Who is this _ ?  _ Gx _

 

I sent, playing along. He quickly replied.

 

_ Just a humble cowboy from Oklahoma that could never deserve you. _

 

_ Don’t be silly, you’re rare and you don’t even know it. How did it go with my dad _ ?  _ Gx _

 

_ It went great, we talked a lot about you. We just got back home.  _

 

_ Okay, I’m on my way. Gx _

  
  


I could hear Blake’s big laugh all the way from the front door, even before going inside. My mom’s petit one soon followed, and I was amazed to see that they were getting along so soon, even without me in the room. 

 

When I arrived at the backyard, Blake was sitting with Stella on his arms, doing all kinds of funny faces for her to laugh. Jen was looking over his shoulder, making sure her daughter was safe, but also enjoying the moment. My mom and dad were right next to them, laughing with the cute little sounds Stella was doing.

 

“I can see that you guys don’t need me anymore, huh? Stella has replaced me.” I said, trying to keep a closed frown but laughing in the middle of the sentence. 

 

“Hi baby girl! Of course not, we still love you.” Blake said pacifying the situation, and I bent over to give him a quick smooch on his lips. On the corner of my eye, I could see my mom melting with the  _ baby girl _ and a shy smile appeared on my lips. 

 

We stayed and chatted for a couple more minutes, until it was time for Stella’s snack break. Each one went their ways, leaving Blake and I alone. I sat on his lap, crossing my arms behind his neck. 

 

“For the looks of it you are fitting in like a puzzle piece in this family.” I said, smiling, while his hands travelled all over my back. 

 

“Your father and I talked a lot today… It was good, gave me some insights on how you were before, on happier times.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Something along the same lines of the talk I had with your brother. I know their guns are pointed at me, but it makes me happy and relieved that they are so protective of you. You have been through so much already. I completely understand their concern. I’m not asking for them to love me right away, but as long as they let me show them how much you mean to me, I’m good.”

 

I kept staring into his eyes, unable to wrap my head around how much of a blessing it was having such an understanding and patient guy like Blake, and how much it meant that he had no worries about being on the spot with my family: he had nothing to hide and no other plans besides being with me. 

 

It was the most amazing four days I’ve ever spent in Milan. I had some meetings and fashion shows to attend here and there, but for the first time, my mind was elsewhere. I would finish everything up really quick and run home, to my family and my cowboy. Some of my old friends came to visit me too, to catch up on good old times. 

 

Blake and Todd ended up becoming friends, sharing a mutual love over 80’s music. They would talk for hours, not letting anyone in the conversation, which I loved (because Todd was finally accepting Blake) and also hated (because they would leave me to the side). 

 

On the last day, I took Blake to visit my kids graves. I would go alone, but he insisted in coming too. It was almost sunset time, and our plane would leave at 10pm that night. It was a beautiful and clear day.

 

We stood there in silence, holding hands, praying a little for them. Blake looked at me, probably checking to see if I was okay. But I was more than that. The time to mourn has passed, and now I would have an entire lifetime to honor their memories.

 

“I’ve been thinking about your idea for the foundation.”

 

“You have? What have you been thinking about it?”

 

“We could teach them music, sports… Have some teachers to help them with homework and all.... But mostly I want to do something with the mothers too.”

 

“I think it’s a wonderful idea, sweetie..”

 

“I want to build a safe haven, some place they can go if things at home become too hard. I want to teach them a profession, something they can use to free themselves from the abuser, you know?”

 

“We should think about giving them access to counseling, legal advice and easy access to the police, too.... A whole system so they can feel safe and protected.. What do you think about that?”

 

“Yeah, that would be perfect.” He pulled me closer and hugged me. I took a moment to breathe his scent. Blake meant the same thing for me: a rock where I could lean on, a shield where I knew nothing would get to me. If we could bring this feeling of security and shelter to other people, this tragedy wouldn’t have been for nothing. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy sweet days are gonna be over soon, so you should probably re-read this chapter one more time *angel emoji* #justsaying ;)


	28. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I struggled so much with that one... I hope it turned out alright. I fell short on music to inspire me, so if you guys have any suggestions, pleeease let them on the comments! 
> 
> I found this music almost at the end of the chapter, but it is good anyway: Angels - The XX

_ Fifteen year-old Blake would probably be passing out if he could see me now.  _

 

I was coming home in Oklahoma with a powerful businesswoman, fashion designer and  _ ridiculously hot  _ girlfriend, one that finally loved me for  _ me.  _ Someone that was caring, supportive, lovable, genuine. Someone so _ out of my fucking league  _ I still don’t understand how I get to wake up next to her. 

 

_ It must be the dimples.  _

 

After we got back from Italy, my schedule became a vortex that engulfed me. Voice promo, studio time for the next album, meetings with producers, the whole package, so finding the time to simply be with Gwen was difficult. But, on the upside, our internet companies were having a feast on how much we FaceTimed. 

 

This time, she couldn’t come with me to my concerts, which was completely understandable, given that her company was launching a clothing line pretty soon. Although I understood and knew she was very independent, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad coming to an empty tour bus instead of a hotel with a gorgeous blonde waiting on the bed for me. 

 

Before her, as soon as the concert was finished, all I wanted to do was to gather everyone and drink till sunrise, still fired up from the crowd energy. Specially after the divorce, when I didn’t have anyone waiting for me. But now, I’d drop everything on the spot and much rather go to bed so I could talk to my favorite ray of sun. 

 

“Hi, pretty girl.” I said when she picked up my FaceTime call. It was pretty late for me, almost 2 in the morning, but for her it was close to 11pm. “Wait a minute, where are you?”

 

“Everyone, shut the hell up while I talk to Blake!” She shouted to some people behind her I couldn’t see. Turning to me, she smiled. “Hi, babe! I’m at the office, finishing the last meeting of the day with the PR Team.”

 

“ _ I TOLD HER TO GO HOME, BLAKE!”  _ Lizzie appeared on the corner of the screen and Gwen tried to shush her, laughing. 

 

“Well, she is working still, so no chocolates for you!”, I answered back to her, trying to put a angry face on. “Baby, why are you there so late? It couldn’t wait till morning?”

 

“I don’t like coming back to an empty home, you know that.” She pouted and my heart stopped. “I miss you and I’m miserable, so I decided to drag everyone along with me.” 

 

“First, you’re gonna get sued for slavery,” everyone in the room laughed. “Second, you can’t work yourself till death, I need my girl alive and breathing when I come back.”

 

“I’m almost finished, I promise. Besides, Lizzie sat me down and made me eat dinner, so I’m behaving while you’re gone.” She smiled like a little girl showing a science project to her teacher and in the back I could see Lizzie extending her arm with a  _ thumbs up _ sign. 

 

“Okay Lizzie, for that I’ll put the chocolate box back in the table for you.” She laughed out loud and screamed ‘YES’. 

 

“How was the concert, baby?” She draw my attention back to her, moving away to a more private place. 

 

“Great, sold out. I got to sing with a couple of buddies that performed before me, I found some groupies on my bus, the usual…” I shrugged my shoulders, playing nonchalant.

 

She closed her face, mad. “WHAT? Are you trying to get yourself killed by telling me this, Mr. Shelton?” 

 

God, I loved  _ jealous Gwen.  _ “I’m kidding, darlin. The only groupie I want is all the way back in LA working till this ungodly hour.” She relaxed, smiling shyly. “I’m gonna let you finish your meeting, but please go home after that. You know I worry about you.”

 

“Yes, I do. I promise. All set for wednesday, right? I can’t believe I’ll finally see you again!”

 

It was Thanksgiving weekend and we would meet in Oklahoma on Wednesday night, after being apart from each other for more than a week. I’ve never wanted so hard for a day to arrive before. 

 

“All set. Are you ready to spend Thanksgiving with the Shelton’s?”

 

“Yeah, of course!” Silly girl, she thought she fooled me.  _ She was terrified.  _ “It will be fun!”

 

“Okay, then. Go finish your meeting, baby. Love you.”

 

“Love you more. See you soon.”

 

\------------------------------------------------------

  
  


“Here he is, my handsome baby! Give your momma a kiss!” That’s the way I was greeted by my mom the minute I walked in. She was wearing her apron, which meant that she was cooking a hell lot of food.

 

“Hi mom…” I left my bag at the end of the hall and went over there to give her a kiss. “I don’t know what you’re cooking, but it sure does smells amazing.”

 

“Well, I’m gonna meet my son’s girlfriend, I need to make something special.” 

 

I looked past her shoulder and  _ holy shit,  _ the kitchen was swamped in food. All sorts of cakes, pies and other dishes I couldn’t name were sprawled across the table and the stands. 

 

“Mom! You know she is only one tiny woman, right? Or did you also invited a whole army battalion to dine with us?”

 

“Oh shush.” She playfully slapped my arm and turned around to peek a cake baking on the oven. “I told you I was going to feed her. By the way, when does her plane land?”

 

“Later at night, she has to finish a couple things before leaving the office.” I sat on the kitchen stool and sliced a piece of the fruit cake standing in front of me.

 

“My son, dating some powerful city girl…. That isn’t a gold digger… Never thought I’d see the day…”

 

My mom always hated Miranda, but was polite enough to tolerate her, because she thought I was happy. But when I told her I had filed for divorce, she practically threw a party. She wasn’t pleased when she found out I was dating again, not so much because of the girl, but because I didn’t tell her right away. Once I apologized and explained the situation, she became excited. 

 

Specially when she saw how happy I was. We talked almost everyday (yes, I’m a damn  _ momma’s boy) _ and she began noticing a change in my mood.

 

“The last piece of proof everyone needed to confirm that I indeed have gone Hollywood.” 

 

“Well, you are always gonna be King of Country to me.” 

 

“Why there is a freaking big foot in the kitchen eating MY fruit cake?” I heard a voice coming down the hall and turned around to see who it was from. It was my sister, Endy.

 

“I got here first so it’s mine!” We started our little fight over a cake like the 7-year-olds that we were. 

 

“Oh stop it you two, there is plenty of food.” Mom scolded us and Endy showed me the tongue. How mature. 

 

“Where is my new  _ sis,  _ Blake? Did she already got sick of you?” 

 

“Ha ha. Her plane gets here at 8pm-ish.” 

 

“Cool, so there’s plenty of time to gather all the embarrassing pictures of you! Mom, where’s that one with the mullet?” She went over the living room jumping up and down with excitement.

 

“And those ones with him as a baby too! He was the cutest baby ever, Gwen will love those…” My mom shouted, going along with this mess. 

 

“Mom!!!” I started protesting but nobody paid attention to me. “C’mom! I like this girl, you two don’t screw this up for me!”

 

Endy came back with a pile of old photo albums and sat next to me by the kitchen stand. “We are not  _ screwing this up _ .” she said  condescending. “Think more of  _ warning her _ .”

 

“Oh my God, Gwen is never going to talk to me again. This was a terrible idea…”

 

“Nooo, she will love this one of you, all sexy with those long curls… STOP IT!!” I started tickling her and she squirmed, yelling. 

 

“Okay, fine. You two can show her the damn pictures…”

 

“Like we wouldn’t if you said no..” Endy interjected.

 

“But please, be careful about the subjects you choose to talk to her, okay? Don’t scare her away, I’m serious.”

 

“Don’t worry, bro. We’ll be perfect southern ladies.”

 

“That’s what I fear the most.”

  
  


It was around 7pm when I got tired of waiting and decided to leave the house to pick Gwen at the airport in the next city, a 30-minute drive. I was nervous, excited, missing her so much. I could stop on the way to buy her flowers and wait for her at the airport. 

 

When she finally arrived, still dressed as an executive, I was breathtaken. Gwen was so effortlessly beautiful it seemed like the whole world had stopped just for her to pass through. She didn’t notice me at first, and I could enjoy a couple minutes just watching her walking around, looking for me and biting her lip, apprehensive. Then, she noticed me, and came running towards me.

 

I took her in my arms and lifted her up, dropping the flowers on the floor in the process, but I didn’t care.  _ Gwen was here at last.  _

 

“God, I’ve missed you so much.” She said on my neck while I hugged her tight. 

 

“Me too, baby girl.” I let her go and picked the flowers up, giving it to her. “This is a welcome and apologize-in-advance gift.” 

 

She looked at me, confused. “Apologize? Why?”

 

“My mom and my sister are both going to drown you in embarrassing pictures of me.” She let out a big laugh. “So I’m already apologizing for my crazy family so you don’t leave me.”

 

She smelled the flowers and I took her bag from her hand. “I think you’re good.. It’s not that easy getting rid of me.”

 

As expected, because no one could possibly hate Gwen, mom and Endy absolutely loved her. They spent the entire dinner sharing stories and laughing so much that tears would come down their eyes. They past the whole awkwardness of the situation just like that, and soon they were all roasting me.

 

“I swear, everyone BEGGED Blake to chop the damn thing off, but he continued wearing those mullets for a whole year!” Endy was practically out of breath for laughing so much.

 

“Aw, I would have given anything to see that in person!” Gwen replied looking at me, touching my hair with her right hand.

 

“I don’t, you would never date me if you did.” 

 

“Alright, people…. I’m sure that Gwen is tired from her trip, let’s call it a night. Blake, be a dear and show her the bedroom, will you?” Mom said, getting up. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t need any help, Dorothy?” Gwen stood up too, gathering up the plates. 

 

“No dear, it’s fine. Go have some rest.”

 

After we both showered and got ready for bed, Gwen went downstairs again to drink a glass of water. She took longer than I expected her to return, so I went after her, only to find her and my mom talking in the kitchen. I didn’t want to disturb their moment, so I just took a step back and listened. 

 

“It’s an old habit of mine, I always need a glass of water before going to bed…” Gwen said.

 

“For me, it’s camomile tea, every night.”

 

“Oh, I can’t drink camomile tea anymore. During one of my pregnancies, I got so sick all I could drink was that, I drank too much and now I can’t stand the smell….” They laughed, but soon the sound was gone. 

 

“Do you miss them? Your boys?”

 

“Everyday, yeah. It doesn’t get any easier, right?”

 

“Richie has been gone for over 30 years now, and I can tell you, I miss him as much as I did the first week after he passed away. So no, it doesn’t.”

 

“So how did you do it? How did you find your way back?”

 

“Eventually you run out of tears, and decide it’s time to let go. I wouldn’t want him to stop his life if it was the other way around, you know? Then you find things to do that remind you of the moments you shared, and try to find comfort in that. Sometimes it’s easy, others it isn’t.”

 

“I was so afraid of lashing all of this at Blake, thinking that would be too much of a burden, you know? He doesn’t need all the drama.”

 

“Oh dear, that is nonsense! Don’t let your past take away from you the joys of the future. If he’s with you, he thinks it’s worth the sacrifices.”

 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to give you grandchildren, too.” 

 

“Do you think you can make Blake as happy as he will ever be?”

 

“Yeah, I hope so.”

 

“Then I’m just fine with that.” 

 

I got to our bedroom before she could see I was listening. When she came up, I was already under the covers. I wanted to talk about it, show her she was wrong to think that I couldn’t take whatever life throws our way, but, instead, I just hugged her extra tight hoping that she could realize how much I loved her. 

 

Thanksgiving morning began lazy and cold, since it was snowing outside already. I woke up clinging to her, pretty much in the same position we had fallen asleep. This was surprising to me because before Gwen, I’d kick and toss covers all night long. 

 

I guess she just gives me the kind of peace I need. 

I wanted to enjoy this tranquility for a little while longer, because it was rare when I woke up before her. I almost never could get this glimpse of a worry-free Gwen. Standing so close to her, I could see every little freckle and birthmark she had, every tiny scar I’ve grown to adore. Every part of her history that led this woman right here, into my arms. How much a simple spot could tell? How many nights bent over a table working too much a wrinkle on her forehead meant? 

 

I wish I could wash away her fears, I wish I could be sure that a life with me mean that she would never suffer again. But I couldn’t do that. Life was about risks, about jumping over a cliff not entirely sure that what was awaiting for you at the bottom was a mattress, or at least water, or some pretty hard rocks that would break every bone you had on your body. Life was about enjoying those 5 seconds of freefall, where you reach a point that you just  _ don’t care,  _ because that feeling of freedom was too good to be wasted worrying about the outcome. 

 

I could only hope that she was willing to take that jump with me and wish for the best. 

 

Thanksgiving came and went by, and before I could realize, it was time to go back to LA again. She sat in front of me on the plane, reaching my lap with her legs so she could stretch out. She was going through some texts on her phone before turning it down for takeoff. 

 

“I almost forgot to talk to you about that.. I have the launch party for my new collection next friday…. Will you go with me?”

 

“Yeah, that’s what boyfriends do, right? They go to these events and support their girlfriends….” I took one of her heels off so I could rub her foot. She smiled, grateful. “And I’ll get to be the lucky bastard going around holding a gorgeous blonde’s hand, that happens to be the CEO of the whole thing. I don’t even care that I don’t know jack shit about fashion.” She laughed, nodding and adjusting herself on her seat.

 

How much harm a party can do, right? 

  
  
  


_ Oh Lord, I had absolutely no idea.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that on the horizon?  
> Oh yeah, its a CLIFFHANGER! 
> 
>  
> 
> *evil laugher*


	29. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music by All we Do - Oh Wonder.

_You know that feeling when you just know you’re gonna get burnt, but you go ahead and stick your hand on the flames anyway_?

 

Today was the day of my new collection launch. I was so proud of that one, the first I basically did a little bit of everything, from top to bottom. I participated actively in every step of the way, including designing, marketing and market research. The executives from Milan were satisfied with the result, and I was even more.

 

All clothes were already with the retailers, and the consumers would get their hands on everything tomorrow, right after our official party. The buzz was already great, fashion critics praising our boldness and trend-setting style. We sent some samples for artists that we thought represented our brand and the social media world was going crazy. It was an inexplicable feeling seeing something you’ve put so much work into finally coming alive. It gives you a sense of purpose, of meaning.

 

I dismissed everyone at the office today, leaving only those ones that had to be prepared for possible emergencies. I wanted everyone at the party tonight, to celebrate their hard work. I went home too, where my makeup and hair team would meet me. Blake would also stop by later, after he was finished in the recording studio.

 

My dress for the night was a beautiful red one, a longer and more chic version of one of the dresses out of the clothing line we would be releasing tonight. Flower petals strategically positioned to cover the main parts, and also flowing all the way to the floor, creating a cascade visual over the sheer tulle. This was one of my creations and I couldn’t wait to see all of the reactions.

 

Especially one cowboy in particular.

 

Danilo and Gregory, my hair and makeup guys, arrived at my apartment just as I was getting out of the shower. They started their work on me while we chatted and laughed.

 

One hour later, a text message came on my phone. It was Blake.

 

 _Hey, gorgeous. I’m all done here, can I come over_?

 

_Yes, my team is still here so no funny business, mister. Gx_

 

 _Damn. I’ll have to behave now_ ? _That’s a buzzkill._

 

Laughing at his text, I annouced to the pair with me. “Hey guys, Blake is coming to hang out with us.” But the corner of my eye caught a funny expression on their faces through the mirror.. “What?”

 

“Nothing, dear.” Danilo tried to dismiss the subject, but I knew they were hiding something.

 

“Guys, what’s wrong? You don’t like Blake?”

 

“No, that’s not it.” Gregory intervened. “It’s just….”

 

“Honey, is it such a good idea that he is coming tonight?” Danilo asked and I was shocked. What they were implying?

 

“What do you mean with that question? Of course it’s a good idea, he is my boyfriend!” I answered, outraged.

 

“Yeah, but he is not from _our world_ , honey.. He will look out of place…”

 

“I would do the same for him. In fact, I did that in Nashville. I don’t know why this is such a big deal. He wants to come and support me, I can’t believe you guys are trying to segregate him or something like that.” I said, resentful. They were supposed to be my friends.

 

“Honey, we are sorry we even brought that up. We really do.” Danilo apologized.

 

“But he should at least be prepared, okay? Tons of magazines will be there and he will be asked a lot of questions, all designed to embarrass him.” Gregory warned me.

 

“He can go straight to the party, he doesn’t need to walk the red carpet.”

 

“Yeah, but you’ll have to. They are gonna aim their guns at you too.” Danilo concluded.

 

That was absurd. What’s wrong having your boyfriend supporting you at your job? Tons of couples do that everyday. It’s actually rare when they both come from the same workplace, so why this should be such a big deal? Millions of boyfriends and husbands didn’t know a thing about the fashion industry, and they still come to support their model girlfriends. Adam and Behati, for example. She is a Victoria’s Secret model and Adam goes to every fashion show. I don’t see nobody smashing him for that. Why Blake would be different, right?

 

Blake arrived not long after that, when the mood was still a little weird. He sat by the end of the bed, close to the chair I was sitting, so I reached him with my feet. I loved that position, because he would instinctively start rubbing my feet, in such a gentle and affectionate way that I melted every time, clearing the air and improving my spirit. He mouthed me _What’s wrong_? and I just nodded my head no, avoiding the subject. But he wasn’t stupid, he knew something was off, so he started making jokes to lighten the mood.

 

The power of Blake Shelton soon began to show its effects, and in no time both Gregory and Danilo were with tears in their eyes from laughing. But I was still a little hurt by their words. I stayed quiet until they finish their work with me and left.

 

“Okay, now are you going to tell me what happened before I got here?” He enlaced me with his arms, taking extra caution not to ruin my hair. I sighed. This was so ridiculous I didn’t want to spoil the moment or making him anxious over nothing.

 

“It was stupid, something they said that revolted me, but you don’t need to worry about that.” I kissed him softly on the lips, trying not to smudge my lipstick. “Did you bring your outfit for tonight, so you can change here?”

 

“ _Outfit…”_ He laughed, making fun of the word. “But yes, I did. I asked for the Voice’s stylist’s help, so I hope it gets your stamp of approval. I don’t want to embarrass my girl on her big night.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll look handsome even naked.” I smirked, playful.

 

“Yeah, but that is for your eyes only.” He kissed the top of my nose. “I’m gonna pick it up now. I’ll be right back.”

 

He left and I started changing into my outfit for the night. When he came back, I was turned to the bedroom, so he was facing my back. Without looking at him, I asked. “Can you pull up my zipper?” But I got no response. When I turned around, I saw that his mouth was open, astonished look on his face. His eyes were dark, almost pitch black, and I smiled, triumphant with his response to my outfit. “Hey, cowboy! Are you listening?”

 

It took him a couple more seconds and a lot of hard swallowing before he could nod his head yes. “Am I supposed to go a whole night with you by my side wearing THAT and not get an embarrassing boner all the time? Because I’m already failing!” I looked down and _yes, he was_ . I gave a little spin so he could see the entire dress and the poor thing almost had a heart attack. I didn’t think my smile could be bigger. “Why, _why_ do you hate me this much, woman? What did I ever do to you to deserve this torture?”

 

I laughed out loud, going his way and turning around so he could finish zipping me up. “If it serves of any consolation, you’ll be the one to take it off when we get home....”

 

He leaned in, really closer to my ear, and whispered in that way he knew that would drive me crazy. “Oh yes, I will.. And I’ll fuck your brains out because you’re being such a damn tease… Just wait and see…” _Mission accomplished._ I had goosebumps all over my body.

 

Blake left me all hot and bothered in the middle of my living room and went to take a shower. A cold one, I noticed.

 

He got out of the bathroom only with a towel around his waist, just as I was putting on my heels. It was my time to swallow hard. He got dressed in front of me, not giving a fuck if I was watching or not. I had to give the Voice stylist a compliment, because he was wearing black from head to toe and never looked hotter. He completed the look with his signature-style boots and turned around for me, to see if I had liked it.

 

I nodded, approving. “Looks like is going to be another party we’ll bail sooner than expected.”

 

When we got to the party, it was chaos. But, for me, it was good chaos, the kind that meant that everyone was interested on L.A.M.B.’s new clothing line. We agreed that Blake would only walk the red carpet with me, without stopping for interviews, and I would stay alone after, to talk to some reporters.

 

I don’t think anybody was expecting him to be there, which for me it was odd. Did they think our relationship didn’t matter that much? Like it was brief and not that meaningful? It got worse when he left and I was alone dealing with the press. Right on the first stop, _boom._

 

“Hi, Gwen! It’s an honor to meet you. I’m Amanda from Vanity Fair. Can you tell us about the new line?”

 

“Hi, thank you! Yeah, it’s something I’m proud of, because it’s the first I’ve been involved in the whole process, so it’s very personal to me, too. I think it really represents the young american spirit, it’s fun, it’s free, it’s full of color… I think everyone will be very pleased. At least I hope so.” I replied, displaying my best diplomatic smile.

 

“What were some of your inspirations?”

 

“Uhm, the music scene, especially here in LA, and the nightlife in general, I wanted to do something that real women could relate to and pull off.”

 

“So, no country?” _Ah, here it is her main point._ I hid my irritated frown pretty quickly with a smile.

 

“No, I like it personally, however, it’s not what the brand is about.”

 

“But your boyfriend, Blake Shelton, who we also know as King of Country, came with you tonight.”

 

“Yeah, to support me.” I sounded way more annoyed than I probably should. “I think it’s a sweet thing for him to do.”

 

“It didn’t bother you that he came wearing jeans and boots?” _How dare her!_

 

“Of course not! For me, fashion is all about style and staying true to yourself. I couldn’t ever imagine Blake wearing anything besides what he does now, because that’s who he is. In fact, I think he looks really hot and I praised his outfit before leaving our house. And tonight’s not about him, it’s not even about me, it’s about this amazing line that L.A.M.B is releasing.” _Did you get the shade, bitch_?

 

It was like this on every interview. All of them had judgemental and sarcastic questions about Blake, which was exasperating. But I couldn’t just tell them to fuck off, I needed to be polite and graceful, so I laughed and kindly dismissed the questions I couldn’t avoid.

 

By the time I got to the last interviewer, I was fed up. They were totally misrepresenting the point of tonight. So, when he asked “Don’t you get disappointed that your boyfriend couldn’t care less about what you do for a living?” I just laughed trying to gain time before answering to choose my words carefully.

 

But I should have answered right away, because when I turned around, Blake had come back to look for me and heard everything. He looked at me with a devastated look and disappeared.

 

I told the reporter that yes, Blake cared a lot about my job, that’s why he came with me that night. I told him it was inappropriate of him to ask me that question and fashion was so much more than dressing one way or another. After that, I called Melissa to answer the rest of the questions and went inside looking for Blake.

 

He was near the bar, with a glass of whiskey on his hand. I approached him, but his only response was “Not now, not here. I don’t want to ruin your night.” And it broke me even more.

 

The rest of the night went by like a blur. We both did our best to disguise our feelings, trying to look as happy as we could. But I could see the hurt in his eyes, and every time he looked at me, I felt powerless.

 

I would have given anything to be able to tell that damn journalist to mind his fucking business, but I couldn’t change the past. It got worse when people came over us to talk to me, and their instant reaction was to look Blake up and down with a funny look on their faces.

 

As much as it pains me to agree, Danilo and Gregory were right. Everyone was thinking that Blake didn’t belong here. There are no words to describe how sorry I was for him. I should have seen this coming, I wasn’t new at this industry… But I was so in love and so happy that I just figured it would show and everybody would be in love with us too. How could I have been so naive?

 

The worst part is, he knew every detail about the line, because he asked me all kinds of things these past few months. Every night we talked about our work, and he was genuinely interested. He just didn’t “look” into that world, but, for me, we was willing to learn.

I felt so stupid for not making his effort any justice.... I felt like I betrayed him.

 

We got home in silence, with only the occasional talk with the driver that got us there. I was afraid to even talk about anything because I just didn’t know what to say. Every time I glanced at him, he turned his head to the window, making me feel worse.

 

He entered the apartment first and went straight to the living room, putting some space between us. Without looking at me, he shot.  “How can you let those people talk about me like that?” and his voice was never that broken before.

 

“I didn’t! I answered them! I told them that was rude and inappropriate, that you were there to support your girlfriend and for me that showed a lot of your character. I told them how much I respected that, because I truly do!” I replied, desperate.

 

“Gwen, c’mom. I saw you laughing. I felt so embarrassed…. Like a ridiculous fish with a neon sign, so out of my damn water... “

 

“You didn’t hear the entire interview, Blake!”

 

“I’ve heard enough!”

 

“When I came to Nashville and had every fucking detail of my life thrown at my face, you asked me to fight for you, and I did. I stayed, despite being so damn afraid. How is that any different?”

 

“Because you just stood there, smiling yellow and letting them completely crush me!”

 

“I did not! My God, Blake, how can you say that? I can’t just tell them to fuck off, that’s not how way things work on this industry! I need those people to love L.A.M.B., and they will never do that if I’m petulant!” I stopped, looking into his eyes and took a deep breath, now calmer. “You work for yourself, you’ve created this image around you and if you tell people to mind their damn business, they will. But I can’t do that. I defended you with the weapons that I could use, but I can’t do anything about it if you think that was not enough.”

 

“I’m not used to that, Gwen. I’ve always knew where I belonged. I’m always with people similar to me.”

 

That pissed me off. He tells me all the time that I have to fight for us, that it didn’t matter that we came from different worlds, but the speech changes the minute the spotlight is on him? What happened today wasn’t at any way worse than what Miranda did, and she came from the same industry as he.

 

“Yeah, on your comfort zone! Always being played around by women you _think_ are similar to you! You were just fine pretending to be the hero, wearing your cape and proclaiming yourself as my savior. But the second it required a little bit of courage, you chicken out!”

 

Instead of getting angrier, he just… deflated, like a balloon, the fire in his eyes slowly extinguishing.

 

“Who do we think we’re fooling? This is never going to work out. Maybe the world is right and we are swimming pointless against the current.”

 

It was a punch in my stomach. The world started crumbling around me, my sight dizzy and blurry with tears. I curved forward, feeling a physical pain as the air got sucked out of my lungs. I just couldn't believe that, after all we’ve been through, after everything I’ve learned in these past few months with him, he was simply giving up. After I tore down my walls and let him in. After I showed him my darkest side, after all the promises and the plans we made. He had changed his mind. And I was not sure my heart would handle this blow.

 

He was a vital part of me. A part that kept my whole body working properly. To say that he was in my heart was a mistake. _He was my entire heart._ And now he was leaving.

 

How do you keep living without your heart?

 

“Don’t do that, Blake.” I pleaded, already feeling the tears pooling up in my eyes. _I_ _cannot lose him over this._  “You are not the kind of guy who lets the world tell him what to do.”

 

“I wasn’t the guy who lets everyone make fun of him too, but look at today.” I tried approaching him, but he backed out. “Don’t… I need.. I need some time to think.”

 

And then he left, closing the door and leaving my apartment, and my chest, completely empty.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remember that, if you guys kill me, there will be no end to this story. 
> 
> Love you,   
> Lola


	30. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ohh, my inner devil lady was so flattered by all the comments! I loved the reactions from the last chapter! I'm so glad you all liked and I definetely was inspired by your feedback, including Bea's amazing ideas and Zoe's killer song recommendations! 
> 
> Music for this chapter: Nothing Like Us - Justin Bieber (it's good, I promise) and Sorry - Halsey.

_ I'm just a fat piece of shit that doesn't belong in her world. _

 

And I proved that by walking away from her apartment straight to the nearest bar. Usually I don't let these things get to me, I’m not the one to be shaken by something hurtful that the media is saying about me, but just the sight of her laughing at that stupid question just… I finally saw that we didn't make any sense together. We were too different, too opposite. Her past had nothing on that. 

 

I didn't care that anyone was seeing me and taking pictures on their phones. Press couldn't do much more damage than it already did. I just wanted to drink, to feel it burning down my throat, everything in my brain being washed away along with the vodka. So I sat near the barman and told him to keep it coming until I passed out or until the last call, whichever comes first. 

 

It was 4 in the morning when they kicked me out. Some bastard came at me looking for a fight and I gave him one. It felt so good to punch someone, a good old right hook straight to the jaw. I didn’t even bother with the comeback jab on my eyebrow, toring a cut open and throwing me on top of a table, making a mess. The barman broke the fight and told me to get the hell out of there, unless I wanted the cops involved. 

 

I don’t know how or why, but I ended up on Adam’s door. 

 

“I’m not right for her, Adam..” I said when he found me, sat down by his porch, with my head on my hands and crying like a fucking baby. 

 

“I was about to come looking for you. Gwen called me and told me what happened.” I looked up when he said her name, and he grabbed my arm to lift me up. “Let’s get inside and take care of that cut you have there… C’mom, big guy…”

 

“Gwen... Wh-what did she say?” I went with him, barely able to walk on my own, so I was leaning on him, the whole world spinning around me. 

 

“She is just worried about you, because you’re not picking up her calls. Or mine, for that matter. But I’ll let her know that you are here.” He carried my to the shower and left me on his bathtub, fully clothed, and opened the shower. This wasn’t our first time on those same positions. Adam was a pro at taking care of drunk Blake. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

 

“Where’s Bee?”

 

“New York, for work.”

 

New York reminded me of Gwen’s birthday and the amazing day we spent together. She loved my gift so much I’ve never seen her without it since. It was right after that horrible week in Nashville, which compared to now it looked like a piece of cake, and I wanted to give her something to remember her journey, including our love. I wonder if she took it off now.

 

I didn’t mind the cold water, pouring down on me, in fact, I deserved.. So I didn’t put up a fight. I had no strength left. I was numb. 

 

“ _ Yeah, he’s with me... Drunk as a skunk, but fine. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him… But in the morning, now he probably won’t remember anything I say to him… Okay, bye girl.”  _ I heard Adam on the phone down the hall. Shortly after, he came back to the bathroom. 

 

“What did you do, huh?” He sat on the floor next to the bathtub. “Why did I get a call from a crying Gwen at 2 in the morning and after that you show up on my door so drunk you were barely standing on your feet?”

 

“I embarrass her… She thinks... Her friends think I’m just a hillbilly with no right to be by her side…”

 

“What?? I honestly doubt Gwen would say that you embarrass her.”

 

“She did… Well, she didn’t say no when someone asked.”

 

“Blake, I love you, but she would never do such a thing. She loves you. It’s true, I’ve seen it.”

 

“We are not right for each other… I thought we were, but we are so different… I’ll end up saying something stupid, as I always do… And she will hate me…” I don’t think I cried this much even when I first walked in on Miranda cheating on me. 

 

“Okay, there is no point on talking to you this drunk. C’mom, can you stand now? Take these clothes off and I’ll put you to bed.” 

 

With some difficulty, I got rid of everything but my boxers and stood up, following Adam down the hall to the guest room. 

 

“Here we go. All set?” He asked and I nodded, still kind of dizzy. “Okay, buddy.. We’ll talk in the morning.” 

 

When he turned off the light, I was already sleeping.

  
  


I woke up the next morning with a full band playing a metal concert in my head. My forehead was sore and I didn’t quite know why. It took me a moment to realize I was at Adam’s house, and a ever longer time to remember why. 

 

99% of the time, I’m this carefree and fun guy, the worst critic to my own self. The old Blake would probably the first to laugh at that stupid question, right before telling the guy some dumb joke about it. He would never, ever, let that get inside his head. 

 

But ever since the whole thing with Miranda, I was more self-conscious and startled. There’s no self esteem strong enough to handle a blow like that and stay intact. Especially when Gwen was such a powerful and influential person on a field that I knew nothing about. I didn’t fit in, and sooner or later she would be resentful by that fact. 

 

I had a nightmare once, that I went by her office to pick her up wearing my normal clothes and, the minute I walked in, everybody started laughing. Including her. That stuck with me for weeks, but I never thought it would be true. 

 

There are no words to describe how much pain that laughter caused on me, both on the nightmare and on real life. 

 

I never pretended to be anything else than I was, and from the start she knew I was a boot-wearing country singer, but we were so focused on overcoming her dark past and my problems with fame that we didn’t stop to think about the fact that we didn’t have nothing in common. 

 

When that truth hit us, it was already too late. 

 

But I didn’t expect such a mean response on her part. I thought we would at least talk like adults and go our separate ways. Why would she laugh at something she said herself hours earlier that she liked? That stung more than anything. If she was embarrassed, why ask me to come? There was no need to parade me around like a circus clown to everyone take a good laugh on my expense. 

 

I heard noise coming from Adam’s kitchen and decided to get up. I was still only wearing my boxers, but thankfully I had some change of clothes kept here because Drunk Blake always ends the night being a burden at the Levine household.

 

I found a pair of pants and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and try to look semi-presentable and less of a mess I was currently feeling. When I got to the kitchen, Adan was drinking his coffee looking at the window. On the table, a few articles from last night. 

 

“What’s this?” I asked, pointing at the papers. He turned around and  _ boy,  _ he was pissed. 

 

“Some things to show you how much of an ass you are.”

 

“What? What do you mean?”

 

“All Gwen did last night was to defend you. There are newspapers, magazines, articles on websites, videos, you name it, and she will be there praising you. Saying that she respects you, that she loves your style and, even though it’s different from hers, she wouldn’t change a thing.” Adam picked up a few pages and threw them at me. I got one of them and started reading.

  
  


> **OPPOSITES ATTRACT!**
> 
> _ How the powerful L.A.M.B CEO and designer Gwen Stefani fell in love with the Country King Blake Shelton, and how the odd couple make it work! _
> 
>  
> 
> Oh, to be in love. 
> 
>  
> 
> We are pretty sure that when the fashion mogul Gwen Stefani stepped out in Nashville accompanying her boyfriend, our favorite country crooner, Blake Shelton, everyone’s reaction was “WTF?”. Such an odd pairing, right? But looks like the opposites do attract, because they are still going strong. 
> 
>  
> 
> Blake made an appearance last night to support Gwen on her company’s launch party, and despite being on a fashion show, he dressed the same way we know and love: suit, jeans and boots, which sure draw some attention to the King of Country.. 
> 
>  
> 
> But don’t think that his girlfriend didn’t like it! Gwen simply  _ gushed  _ about her beau’s choice of outfit, saying: “Fashion is all about staying true to yourself, and Blake does it so well. He wouldn’t be who he is today if he kept following the rules.” And we agree!
> 
>  
> 
> Some of the other fashion critics suggested that the relationship could affect her creativity, but she says it couldn’t be farther from the truth. “The company trusts me and having Blake by my side has been crucial. He inspires me everyday.” 
> 
>  
> 
> However, the pressure over the couple with all of the attention seems to be taking its toll. There are some reports that the couple had an argument inside the party and the mood between them was a little stiff. 
> 
>  
> 
> Because of that, L.A.M.B issued an official pronouncement saying that here on now all notifications will be sent by the it’s PR Team and not it’s designer-in-chief here in America, in order to preserve her privacy. They reaffirm that her personal life doesn’t affect her position at the company and they are happy that she found love again following the horrific loss of her children. 
> 
>   
>    
> 
> 
> \--------------------------

  
  
  


_Shit, shit, shit._ I had screwed up. Big time. 

 

I look over to Adam, who had this  _ I told you so  _ expression on his face, still mad. I brushed my hair with my hands, not knowing what to do next. Gwen told me the truth and I didn’t believe her. I let my insecurities have the best of me and I didn’t see what was really in front of me. 

 

“Oh God, what did I do?”

 

“You fucked up. The first person ever to laugh at this bullshit is now letting the  _ media,  _ of all things, dictate who he dates or not. I expect so much more of you, man.” Adam was angry, disappointed, frustrated. 

 

“I honestly thought… I mean… Just look at us.... We’re too different…”

 

“So what? What did you gain by marrying someone like you? Cheating and divorce. Is that worth it? Miranda walked all over you before and you had to catch her red-handed to believe that she didn’t love you. Now that Gwen actually treats you the way you should be treated, with respect and decency, you let a simple out-of-context laugh get in between the two of you.”

 

He was more upset about this than I predicted. “Why are you so mad about this?”

 

“Because I care about you, you moron!” He lashed out, throwing his hands in the air. “Because I’m tired of seeing you this destroyed, this lost, getting hammered and showing at my door like last night, something that hadn’t happened since Gwen came into your life!” He took a series of deep breaths before talking again on a lower voice. “Blake… Gwen is seriously the best thing that ever happened to you. Everyone that is your friend can see that. Don’t let some bullshit from your past get in the middle of what you two have.”

 

“She will never take me back now. I was such a dick….” Just the thought of losing her forever was enough for my eyes to start prickling with tears. 

 

“For some unknown reason to me, she loves your sorry ass”, he laughed, trying to lighten the mood. I smiled, but I wasn’t too confident. “Talk to her, apologize, spend the day making it up to her in the bedroom...” He said that with a wink and I was not sure she would ever let me be anywhere near her bed. “And never do that again.”

 

I glanced at the article again, unable to believe how stupid I was. Now Gwen was probably infuriated at me, and I managed to wreck the only good thing I had in my life. 

 

It also surprised me how much physical pain I was feeling for being apart from her like this. Almost like my actual heart was sore, something I never felt before. I had felt betrayal, despair, anger, but not never this amount of pain. 

 

Oh God, I can’t live without her. I have to make this right again.

 

Will she ever forgive me?


	31. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT, SUUUUUPER LONG ASS CHAPTER AHEAD! I'm so happy with this one, I hope you like it!! 
> 
> Tay (OverAndOverAGwen) Thanks for the ideas! 
> 
> Music by Sorry Not Sorry - Demi Lovato (for badass Gwen) and Dangerously - Charlie Puth (yeah, I've used that one before, but it's soooooo good!)

_There you go, the long awaited heartbreak._

 

I was a grown woman, for God’s sakes. If that stupid cowboy wanted out, he could go to hell for all I care. I was totally fine. What was I doing crying over him? I had thousands of things to focus on. I woke up the next morning a different person, no more desperate Gwen over someone that acted so tough but bailed so quick.

 

I took extra time with my makeup to hide my puffy eyes from crying, chose a killer outfit and went on to slay the day, with no time to think about him.

 

About who? I didn’t remember his name anymore. Or stupid dimples.

 

I didn’t want to fall into temptation during the day, so I left my phone with Lizzie, saying that I would only pick up life or death calls, otherwise I wasn’t available, and jumped from a meeting to the other.

 

But the first one, of course, was about him. Melissa was swamped with calls from magazines and I told her to issue an announcement, saying that from now on I wouldn’t personally answer questions, but I didn’t say a thing about our break up (or time apart? Anyways I didn’t care). I just told her to fill in saying that the company was happy for me or whatever.

 

It was so crazy at the office with all the press and social media reactions to our launch that I didn’t stop one minute. My lunch was a salad eaten at the middle of a pitch about what social media influencers should we approach to keep the attention going.

 

The second I was left alone on my desk, Lizzie came in running with my phone on her hands and closed the door behind her. “Gwen, I know you said you wouldn’t take his call, but…”

 

“Lizzie, not now.”

 

“But-”

 

“Is he dying?” I interrupted her

 

“No, but-” She looked at my phone, and I understood he was in line.

 

“Then I will not take his call. I’m working.” I said with an angry voice, loud enough for him to hear.

 

“He says it’s important.”

 

“Then he should have told me last night, on my apartment, instead of running away like a scared little girl!” I shouted. Lizzie glanced at me, terrified, thinking I was mad at her. “Sorry, dear… I’m not angry with you.” I took a deep breath and tried to fix the situation, massaging my temple. “I’m sorry for yelling. I’m just not ready to talk to him yet, okay? Please tell him that.”

 

“Okay, boss. I’ll be at my desk with you need me.”

 

I nodded and she walked out, closing the door. I stood there, in silence, fighting with everything I had not to cry in my workplace. Damn you, Blake Shelton, for breaking into my life and making such a mess.

 

I wish it didn’t hurt so much, tough. I wish it was easy to erase him from my life, but it wasn’t. The son of a bitch had infiltrated every single part of me, and now it was impossible to get him out of my head. I did my best, drawing tons of work on top of me, going around the office asking questions I didn’t need to., but I had to, in order to keep my sanity.

 

It was around 9pm when Lizzie stopped by again, this time with Marcus, one of the market research guys.

 

“Boss, I’m gonna go… Here is your phone, don’t worry, he hasn’t called back since then.” She quickly added once she saw my wide eyes. “Now, you have to go too. It’s late and you’ve been here since 7am. Please go have some sleep. Marcus will take you home.”

 

“Thanks, but it’s not necessary.”

 

“Yes, it is. Otherwise you’re going to sleep here and I can’t allow that.” She used her mom voice with me, and I smiled, tired.

 

“Okay. You won. I’m going.”

 

“You better. If I call Marcus in fifteen minutes and he tells me you’re still here…”

 

“I won’t, I swear. I’m right behind you.”

 

“Okay. See you two tomorrow.”

 

She left and I started gathering my things. “Sorry that she put you in charge of me. She tends to do that.” I said to him.

 

“No, it’s my pleasure.” He smiled. Marcus was about half my age, eager to learn and very dedicated.. I’ve never noticed before that he was kinda of cute too, with ebony skin and a bright smile. You know, for someone that wasn’t 46 years old and in the middle of something very, very complicated.

 

“Well, I’m not gonna hold you any longer. Shall we?”

 

“After you.”

 

We made the entire drive in silence, simply because I didn’t know what to talk about with him. I was terrible at this and my mood wasn’t the best.

 

“The word around the office today is that you broke up with you boyfriend.” He said all of a sudden, and I snapped my head up, shocked. “I’m sorry, is this too personal? I didn’t mean….”

 

“I was just surprised, that’s all.” I shook my head.

 

“Well, if you guys did break up, he is a damn fool.” He winked at me, flirty. _What the hell was happening_?

 

“Uhm.. thanks?”

 

“I’m just calling like I see it.” He arrived at my building and parked in front of it, getting out of the car to open the door for me.

 

“Thank you for the ride, Marcus. It was sweet of you to bring me here.”

 

“Don’t you want me to leave you at your door?”

 

“There’s no need, I’m safe here.”

 

“Please, I insist.”

 

I made a gesture symbolizing something like _you might as well_ and we got inside, calling the elevator.

 

“Lizzie can be very persuasive when concerned for your safety. I have to make sure.” He said when we arrived at my floor.

 

I laughed, because it’s totally like her. “Now you can tell her I’m here and I’m fine.”

 

Except completely not fine, because Blake was sitting by my door.

  


\---------------

 

“What the hell are you doing here, Blake?” I asked, already getting tense.

 

“Wow… Who is this?” He got up and pointed at Marcus.

 

“It’s none of your damn business.” I replied, furious.

 

“Of course it is, you’re my girlfriend!”

 

I put one hand on my waist as the other was holding my laptop. “Well, _now_ I’m your girlfriend! That is amazing, because if I recall it correctly, you _needed some time_ yesterday. Time flies for you, huh?” Turning to Marcus, using my sweetest voice, I said. “Thank you for bringing me here. I’m fine now.”

 

He didn’t look so convinced. He glanced at Blake, who was livid, before replying to me. “Are you sure? I can call security to take him out.”

 

“How dare you, you little-” Blake began, enraged, but I put a hand in the air like a stop sign.

 

“It’s okay, he won’t cause any trouble. I can handle him. But thanks for the offer, sweetie.”

 

I didn’t mean to call him that, but I was so furious with Blake that it just came out of me. With one last look at Blake, Marcus nodded and turned his back to us, going to the elevator again.

 

On the other hand, I went straight to the door, without looking at Blake, and unlocked it. He went inside right behind me.

 

“Can we please talk? I need to apologize, I need to… Please, Gwen….” He started, but I couldn’t look at him. It hurt too much. I left my purse and laptop on the table and went over the living room, sitting on the couch and taking off my shoes. She crouched before me, putting his hands over my knees, pleading my attention.

 

“What is there to talk about?” I mustered the courage to look into his eyes. “I told you the truth, you didn’t believe me and asked for some time apart. I gave you one and still you show up here, uninvited, shredding any bit of dignity I had left.”

 

“Please, Gwen, don’t say that… I was wrong, I-...” He brushed his hair with his hands, frustrated at himself. “I was an idiot. You didn’t deserve that.”

 

“You’re right, I didn’t. I poured my heart and soul into this, into _us_ , like you asked me to, over and over again. I held nothing back, the bad, the good and the ugly, and you knew how broken I was, how damaged I still am. But that didn’t stop you from acting like a child.” He stared at me, his face twisted like he had just been slapped. “When you asked me to fight, I did. When I asked you to, you chose to run.”

 

“I thought you were playing me. I’m not used to feeling outcasted, so I panic, thinking that you were embarrassed or that you were laughing at me. But I have never been so wrong before. I love you, please forgive me.”

 

“No.”

 

“No?”

 

“No. I can’t do this if you don’t trust me. If you let the world get in between us. You wanted some time, and I’m giving you one. Better yet, I’m asking for it. I’m not sure I want to be with you right now, not when I’m giving my everything with nothing in return.”

 

His sadness quickly turned into anger as he got up. “You are wrong about this. One mistake cannot simply erase everything we’ve been through together.”

 

I got up too, furious. “I could say the same exact words to you! Because last night all I did was talk about us, and the one second I laugh instead of praise you, you show up, gets everything wrong and leaves me.”

 

“Yeah, but I'm here, at your feet, admitting I was wrong! You're the one kicking me out!”

 

“Apologies don't fix the fact that I gave you my heart and you completely trashed it over some misunderstanding.” I didn't mean to sound so broken, but that's the way my voice came out.

 

He stopped, approached me and lifted my jaw with one finger for me to look into his eyes. He was hurt too and needed me to see it.

 

“I love you more than life itself, Gwen. I'm not perfect, so yeah, of course sometimes I'll screw up. But I can't make up your mind for you, so I'm not gonna bother you. When you're ready to get past this, I'll be ready. As long as it takes.”

 

And then, he left, closing the door behind him. For a second time in two days, I was left alone, surrounded by little pieces of me completely shattered across the floor.

 

He stood by his word and I didn't see or heard from him for a week. Which was, at the same time, good and terrible for me. I was feeling like crap _all. the. freaking. time._ But I continued to bury myself in work and resisting the urge to call him.

 

On saturday, I was leaving the office to have lunch with some of the girls when my phone started blowing up. A lot of people were sending me the same article, and my heart stopped when I read it.

 

 

> **WHERE’S GWEN, BLAKE?**
> 
> _Country crooner invites fan upstage and cozies up on a slow dance with her, amid reports that he and Gwen have broken up_
> 
>  
> 
> Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?
> 
>  
> 
> Blake Shelton invited one super fan up to his stage on last night’s concert in Phoenix, Arizona, and got pretty close as they danced together to his song “My Eyes”.
> 
>  
> 
> These pictures come amid reports that him and his fashion designer and head of L.A.M.B in America, Gwen Stefani, are taking some time apart, which hasn’t been confirmed by either one of their teams.
> 
>  
> 
> If they are, in fact, still together, Blake will have some explaining to do, because things got pretty heated on that stage! What do you think?
> 
>  

\----------

 

_That bastard._

 

So he was already moving on, huh? While I was here, all broken-hearted, on the verge of calling him, and he was out there doing concerts and fooling around with groupies. Oh, but that was about to change.

 

I sent the article to Bee, with the text: _I need a fucking drink. Or 20. Are you here in LA_ ? _Gx_

 

She quickly replied.

 

 _I can’t believe him! Yes, I am!! Your place_ ? _B._

 

 _Please. See you at 8 o’clock_ ? _Gx_

 

_I’ll bring the tequila. B._

 

She showed up with a friend, whom I recognized from the pitch with the marketing team: Taylor Swift, the megastar, with tequilas in hand and orange juice for Bee, since she was pregnant.

 

“God, I love you so much. Thank you for coming.” I hugged her tight.

 

“Of course! Gwen, this is Taylor, she wanted to come to help you with these tequilas since I’m not able to.” She laughed, caressing her tiny baby bump.

 

“Yes, welcome,Taylor! Please, make yourselves at home… I’m in a terrible mood so let’s start this!”

 

One hour later, the three of us were sitting on the carpet in my living room, laughing about some story Taylor was telling.

 

“Can you believe it? He told me I was _jealous of his success_! Oh my God, I’m richer and more famous than him, why would I care?” He said, laughing so much and almost spilling her shot.

 

“Ugh, man can be such babies! Blake _needed some time_ after the first speck of critic towards him. And I had to sit and let _Nashville Life_ completely throw my privacy under the bus and _fight for him.”_ I affirmed, sarcastic.

 

“I just _hate_ when this happens. I’ve lost too many good relationships over this hell.” Taylor replied, drinking her tequila shot and raising her glass.

 

“And now, the _son of a bitch_ is out there making out with fans on concerts! Can you believe this jerk? Ughh I hate his stupid face.” I drank my tequila too, feeling my head spin.

 

“Blake is my friend, but… I also hate him right now.” Behati chipped in.

 

“And I’ll drink to that!” I poured myself another shot.

 

We were quick drinkers, so around 1am, both bottles of tequila were gone. Taylor and I were completely hammered, barely able to stand still. Bee decided to call it a night and Adam came to pick them up.

 

“Oh my God, why did you drink so much tequila?” He asked when he got to my apartment, seeing all the mess Taylor and I made.

 

“Because your _frrrriend_ is a stupid dick”, I tried to answer, but my tongue was numb. “And I _haaate hate hate_ him.”

 

“Blake?”

 

“ _Thaaaats_ the one. Him and his damn dimples, I hate him. You tell him that!” I told both Adams standing in front of me while I was lying on the couch. God, everything was spinning. Someone put a brake on Earth or I’m gonna throw up.

 

“He didn’t come here? You guys didn’t make up?” Adam sounded surprised.

 

“He did, and I told him to fuck himself. And he started fooling around with some slut groupies because that’s how much _he loves me_ ”, I mocked.

 

“Oh, that idiot! Totally not what I told him to do!” Adam helped Taylor stand up while Behati gathered her shoes. “I’ll talk to him in the morning. Are you gonna be okay by yourself?”

 

I didn’t answer, just put my thumb up. They left and closed the door, leaving me alone.

 

I just couldn’t believe Blake, dancing with some whore onstage for the world to see. Who the fuck he thought he was? At least have the decency to break up with me first before filling his bed with sluts.

 

 _Ughhhh_ I hated his guts so much.

 

I needed to tell him that, he needed to know that between us it was over, _OVER._

 

I got my phone and dialled his number. He picked up on the second beep.

 

“YOU.” I shouted. “You have NO RIGHT to do this to me. If you want to screw some whore, FINE, I hope you die in hell!!” I said, some of the words a little confused but he got the message.

 

 _“What?? Gwen, have you been drinking? Where are you?”_ He asked.

 

“NOT IMPORTANT! The main thing here is you and I are done, _DONE!_ ” My voice was loud and angry, the frustration sobering me up a bit.

 

 _“No. I won’t accept it. Not over the phone._ ” He said, calmly, which pissed me up even more.

 

“I don’t give a FUCK! Not when you’re in bed with some groupie you picked up on the road!”

 

_“I’m not, I’m at my house in LA, and if you want to break up with me, you’re gonna have to come here and tell that to my face.”_

 

“Fine, FINE! I may stab you on the process, you SON OF A BITCH!”

 

He laughed. LAUGHED. I was going to murder his stupid ass.

 

I called an Uber and got to his house, smoke coming out of my ears. _How dare him_? He didn’t even know what was about to come his way.

 

I jumped out of the car and ran straight to his door, like a fucking train. I started smashing my fists, yelling his name, without caring that it was almost 2 in the morning.

 

“Open up, you idiot! I have to break up with you, NOW!” I shouted.

 

He opened up the door, without a shirt on, smiling like a goddamn king. I saw red, completely enraged about the nerve he had to smirk triumphantly like that. He didn’t say a thing, he just stood there, laughing at my face.

 

“Why are you laughing at, you idiot?” I pushed him, immediately regretting the movement because that meant contact with his bare chest, which always does things to me. “Are you happy that I’m breaking up with you?” _Grrr,_ I wanted to slap that smile out of his face.

 

“I just love jealous Gwen so much… I was hoping that she would show up after she saw that picture.”

 

“You did that _on purpose_ ? How DARE YOU!” I punched his arm and he backed out, laughing his ass off. I followed him inside, slamming the door. “I hate you! _I. HATE. YOU!_ ”

 

“No, you don’t! You love me! You only become this possessive when you don’t want to admit that, but you do! You can’t live without me!” I hated him even more because he was right, so I punched him again, grunting.

 

“You jerk! You broke my heart! I was miserable and you were over there thinking of ways that you could make fun of me?? Oh my God, we are SO DONE!” I continued slapping him, and he continued laughing out loud, flinching with the hits. “STOP LAUGHING!”

 

“Okay, okay…” He raised his hands in a truce signal, and I stopped hitting him. I calmed down a little, out of breath. “Can you please forgive me now? Haven’t you slapped me enough?”

 

“No, NO! We are never getting back together!” Great, I was quoting Taylor now. He started laughing again and hugged me tight. “LET ME GO!” But he just laughed more and more. I tried to free myself, but he was too strong, so slowly I gave up. I let out a frustrated grunt and he tilted his head back to stare at me.

 

Our eyes met, and just like that… Fire meets gasoline. _Boom._

 

Our lips crashed and my hands flew up to his hair, pulling it harder. He moaned and picked me up, his hands going inside my shirt on my back. His tongue practically invaded my mouth without asking for permission, and I seriously thought I could melt. The anger was long gone now, replaced by this desperate need of him. I wanted more, more of his taste, of his skin touching mine, more of _everything._

 

My pussy was already dripping wet, apparently our screaming match served as a foreplay. I was this close of spontaneously combust if he didn’t touch me _there._ I was impatient, hungry for him, so I started sinking my nails on his skin, which made him growl and bite my neck.

 

“I love you so much, my crazy girl…” He whispered right before licking my neck. _Damn,_ this guy knew me too well. “I’m sorry for being an idiot.” He kissed me deeply, unhooking my bra underneath the shirt and taking it all off, leaving me naked from the waist up.

 

I didn’t even realize he was taking us to the bedroom until he got there and he put me on top of the bed, immediately diving in to suck my breasts. He focused his mouth on the left one first, arousing the nipple until it was rock hard, and then moved on to to the same thing with the right one. My head was spinning, but it had nothing to do with the tequila from earlier.

 

My hips started crashing into his already prominent erection, causing me to see stars. His mouth was still on my boob, relentlessly driving me insane.

 

“Let’s see if I can get you off just like this? You are particularly sensitive here on your breasts… maybe I can…” He said, curious, and proceed to increase speed with his tongue, adding a little hand stimulation to the other nipple. I threw my head back, out of breath. He was really good at his job, and soon enough I felt the tell-tale signs of my orgasm approaching: my legs trembling and my moans getting louder. He smiled, noticing it too, and then he bit my nipple, causing me to completely explode.

 

He gave me a few moments  to catch my breath, leaving sweet kisses all over my stomach. But, before we could pin me to the bed again, I took advantage of his distraction and turned us around, with an idea in mind.

 

“So… Do you want me to forgive you?” I sat over his stomach.

 

He swallowed before answering. “Yes… please.”

 

“Only with you behave. I’m going to tie to this bed for me to do whatever I want to you.”

 

“That sounds dangerous… I’m in.” We both smiled, and I scratched his chest with one single nail.

 

“Stay here.. And don’t move.”

 

I got up and found a tie in one of his drawers. I came back and did my best girl scout knot, which it wasn’t that good, especially drunk and horny, but it would have to do. Coming back to him, I undid his zipper and pulled his pants, along with his black boxers. He was now completely naked. I felt weird being with my pants still, so I took them off, leaving my blue panties on.

 

I took my time just looking at him, at my mercy, hard as a stone, and licked my lips. We locked eyes and he moaned.

 

I got closer to his dick, slowly, like a cat, savoring the sweet torture I was putting him through. He deserved it, after all he did to me. I reached his cock, leaving a simple kiss on it’s top and he closed his eyes, grunting. I decided to torment him a little bit more, so I went all in, putting everything I could inside my mouth all at once. He jolted forward, gasping, and I suddenly stop, clicking my tongue and nodding my head.

 

“No no no no no… This is not what we agreed. You have to be still, like a good boy.” I used my sexiest voice and, by the amount of sweat pouring on his forehead, we was going crazy over it. ”Will you behave? Or should I stop and go home?”

 

“I will. Promise.” He nodded his head yes and I smiled, satisfied, resuming my assault at his dick.

 

I licked and scratched my teeth along his length, causing him to see stars and loose speech, but he kept his promise and stayed still. I decided to be even meaner, taking him to the edge, and, just as he was about to cum, I’d stop. On the second time, he growled.

 

“Oh fuck… Gwen… I said I’m sorry! Please stop teasing!” His voice was raspy with need and he couldn’t take his eyes off of me.

 

“No… I think you deserve it… I think you have to suffer…” I whispered, licking it all the way from his balls to the tip, enjoying how his eyes went from blue to pitch black…

 

“Oh God… please, please forgive me. Please… I will- I will never do that again, I promise… _Fuck..”_ I took him on my mouth again, all the way to the base, and he threw his head on the pillow. I was feeling the queen of the world, completely satisfied with my payback.

 

I took him to the edge one more time before ending his misery and letting him cum into my mouth, which he did clenching his fists to the headboard where he was tied to and letting a loud groan as he spilled his seed for me to swallow everything.

 

He was panting when he finished, and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

 

“Hold on… I’m not finished with you yet.” I took of my underwear and got on top of him, but with my legs up front and sat down over his stomach. Then, I opened them, exposing my pussy right in front of him. He moaned. “Now, you’re gonna watch as I pleasure myself and you can do _nothing_ about.”

 

“Oh my God, Gwen… Just wait until I get out of this, I’m gonna fuck you so hard….you’re gonna be walking funny for a week…” He said with a low voice, and I laughed, starting to rub my clit slowly.

 

“Oh, silly Blake… Who says I’m gonna let you out?” I displayed my naughtiest smile, and then closed my eyes, letting the sensations run over me. Of course my fingers were nowhere near as good as his, but just seeing his reaction, his misery of being unable to help me orgasm, was enough to make me cum, loud and messy. After I finished, I put my fingers in front of his mouth, which he licked and close his eyes with pleasure.

 

“Please, please, get over here and ride me, baby doll. Stop being such a tease, I’ve suffered enough…” I pretended I was thinking about it, hitting my finger in my jaw, playing hard to get, but in the end I obliged, climbing over the bed and lowering myself on top of him. I started with a slow pace, going forward to kiss him, biting his lower lip. “Jesus, Gwen.. You’re driving me insane… Let me free so I can feel you..” I stalled a little bit, but eventually I undid the knot. His arms immediately went over me, stopping by my waist and helping me speed things along.

 

I couldn’t take the wait any longer, so I rolled my hips pretty fast and soon I was about to cum. I launched myself forward, clashing into his chest, and he moved his hips to meet mine, driving us both insane.

 

We were covered in sweat, completely out of breath and feeling _oh-so_ good. As he thrusted one long and last time, we both reached our climax together. I collapsed on top of him, exhausted, and he crossed his arms on my back.

 

He was right, I couldn’t live without him.

 

“Don’t ever do that again, okay?” My voice was soft, vulnerable, still a little shaken by the rough sex.

 

He kissed the top of my head, tightening the grip on me and inhaling deeply. “I was stupid once… I ain’t gonna be stupid twice.” I smiled, content. “I love you so damn much, baby… I can’t imagine my life without you, I just don’t know what got into me." He grabbed my shoulders, urging me to look at him. “Do you think you’ll be able to trust me again?”

 

I took a couple seconds before answering., but in the end, I smiled. “It will cost you a few more nights tied to the bed, but it’s definitely possible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I deserve some comments, right?? *angel emoji*


	32. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, first I want to answer some of the comments I received. We, as a fandom and as fanfic readers, have the bad habit of thinking that our idols are perfect and that they never make mistakes. In a lot of fics, Blake is the knight in shining armor who comes to save donzel Gwen in distress and never does anything wrong. I didn't want to write that. Like I said in an end note a couple chapters before, I'm interested in the human part, the interaction and the problem resolution of things. Besides, even though this is fiction, I want to make it believable. Because we humans screw up, say things we didn't mean, understand the situation all wrong and overreact. God knows I've done that a thousand times. 
> 
> But, I think that this next chapter will help you guys understand Blake a little bit more. 
> 
> Music for this one: The Other Side - Ruelle / Certain Things - James Arthur

 

**ONE YEAR LATER**

 

_ I can’t believe we’ve made it this far.  _

 

Not because I don’t love her, or because I think she doesn’t love me, it’s just because it’s been a hell of a year. So much has happened.... But through it all, Gwen has been my rock, my main source of inspiration, and our love was written all over our faces on every photo they took of us. 

 

I’m so glad she didn’t give up on us. Neither has she let me bail out. 

 

And to think I almost did it... I almost threw in the trash the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me. It took me some time to realize, better yet, to let myself  _ believe _ that Gwen was not Miranda, and that history would not repeat itself. 

 

That fight shortly after her company’s launch changed everything for us. But I still remember as if it happened yesterday. That week we spent apart, on a break, was something I didn’t wish on my worst enemy. I couldn’t sleep or think straight. I cried that week more times than I’ve cried my whole adult life, but I just couldn’t give in and come back begging. 

 

I was being childish, yes, but so was she. The only thing is, can you blame us? After being abused and neglected for so long, we simply didn’t know how to behave when we found someone who actually treated us right. We both had to push each other apart and set up a storm to realize that this time was different. We were testing the water. 

 

After one week, we had enough.  I had enough. So I did the one thing I remembered it would break her walls: I had to make her jealous. I couldn’t just call her and tell her that I’d met someone, she had to see it. So I invited a fan onstage and danced with her. 

 

It went down just the way I wanted, but it could have gone seriously wrong. 

 

I admit it wasn’t the smartest move. She could have left me, right then and there, and I would simply die from sorrow. Most days I can even picture a scenario where Gwen is not with me; it just hurts too much. To think that it could have been my reality is just unbearable. 

 

Our first reaction was, of course, the explosion, because even though our minds were angry, our bodies missed each other like a limb. She came to my house like a freaking tornado, seeking blood, but at the end, we fell into my bed where she made me regret (and thank God at the same time) for every mistake I’ve made. 

 

But after the high was over, it was time to talk. We had a lot to put behind us and I didn’t want a single thing get in our way again. I’ve been stupid enough.

 

“I thought…. I thought I had screwed it up for good.” My right arm went under her, pulling her closer to me. She nestled herself comfortably on my chest and turned her head to look at me. “I would never forgive myself.”

 

“Can I ask something?” I nodded yes. “Can you explain to me what went through you head that night? Because I keep replaying it in my brain and I… I want to understand you better.” 

 

I sighed before answering, trying to gain some time. I looked up, too embarrassed to look at her. “I thought you were making fun of me. I know, it’s stupid, but I just kept thinking that I’ve been on that position before and it was awful…”

 

“You mean with Miranda? When you found out about the cheating?”

 

“Yeah. I know you couldn’t be more different from her, but still… On that moment, all I could think was that I was being made a fool of myself again.” When I look back at her, she had these huge tears in her eyes. Gwen was just looking at me, her chin resting on top of my chest. She closed her eyes and nodded her head, trying not to cry, I think. She swallowed and inhaled deeply before glancing at me again. 

 

“Oh, Blake… I had absolutely no idea… You think I would have asked you to come if I was embarrassed by you? Of course not. It breaks my heart that you think you are below me on any matter. Others may think that, I’m not going to lie, but only we know what we’ve been through, all the issues we had to figure out in order to be together. I would never ever think less of you just because you dress differently than me.”

 

I reached forward to kiss her, cupping her jaw with my hands. It was a long peck on the lips, and when I backed my head, tears had fallen on her face. 

 

“Please, don’t cry over this.. It’s over now…” I said, wiping it away with my thumb. She nodded shyly. “It was stupid… All I ask is that you don’t give up on me… I know I was wrong to think that and, believe me, you made me regret every single word that came out of my mouth.” I smiled naughtily, referring to that torture session she had just made me endure, and she lifted her head, proudly. 

 

“It’s us against the world, baby… We can let that get in between us. I know things on that area are not going to get any easier.” She slowly caressed my chest, drawing circles with her index finger. “We don’t even have to respond those idiots, we just have to let our love show. Anyone that doesn’t see that is either blind or stupid.”

 

I smiled. “Or both.” 

 

And we did just that. Every time we’d go on a date or stepped outside, magazines would go crazy, betting to see when we would split up. But we never did. In fact, it was pretty much the opposite: she was my muse, and sooner than I expected, I had a whole new album ready to be released. 

 

She refused to acknowledge her title, saying that it was all me and my talent, but the truth was I could never do this without her. She gave me the confidence to start putting love songs on paper and they ended up being the best ones I’ve ever written. 

 

The proof? We were getting ready to go to the Grammys, where I was nominated for best country album and best country song, with “One Night Girl”. 

 

“Hey baby”, she put her head inside the room, opening the door just enough so she could sneak a peek inside. “Are you ready?” 

 

I checked my reflection on the mirror one last time before nodding her to come inside. She opened the rest of the door and flaunted her figure on her way to me. My breath got caught up in throat, because I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful before. Her hair was up on an intricate bun, her makeup was light with clear lip gloss, but her dress... All golden and tight in the right places, it was like I had my own personal trophy right in front of me. 

 

“What?” She asked. “Did you like it?” She did a little spin and I barely could find the words.

 

“If there’s a prize for most beautiful date, I got it in the bag.” I answered and she laughed, coming near me. She reached and adjusted my tie, smoothing the fabric of my gray suit. I had a vest on today, one that she picked up for me. 

 

“I don’t know if I say this enough, but I’m so proud of you, baby.” She stopped with her hands on my chest and glanced at me, showing pure love in her eyes. My heart grew three times it’s size. I covered her hands with mine. “This is huge for you, and even if you don’t win, I’m still gonna be super proud.” 

 

“I got my award already, it’s right in front of me.” I said, caressing her hand with my thumb. She scoffed. Even after after one year and a half with me, she is still not used to receiving compliments. At this point, I don’t think she ever will, but I give them anyway. 

 

“C'mon, we’re are going to be late. And you, Mr. Grammy Nominated, has to give a shit ton of interviews on that red carpet tonight.” 

 

It was our first red carpet after that fight, but things were so much different now.  _ We  _ were different, stronger, more mature. Also, people started to realize that this wasn't going anywhere. We were meant to be, and no evil comments were going to change that. 

 

She stood by my side the entire time while I spoke to the reporters, smiling and being a perfect match for me. Everyone swooned over us, because we were basically the definition of two people in love. 

 

We found Luke and his wife there, along with the Little Big Town crew. It was a little “Country Mafia” reunion. My arm stayed carefully wrapped around Gwen’s waist or shoulders (depends whether we were standing or sitting) the entire time. 

 

I didn't want to admit, but of course I was nervous. Although it wasn't my first Grammy nomination ever, it was the first for a song I wrote, and the woman I had wrote it to was sitting right next to me. 

 

Besides, I had other plans for tonight and a Grammy Award would really help my case. 

 

They announced my category next and we both sat straight on our chairs. She grabbed my hand to ease my nerves. I nodded the audience when they said my name as one of the contestants, aware that cameras on me and my face was being displayed on big ass screens all over the room, not to mention that this ceremony was being broadcasted all over the world.

 

“And the Grammy for best country song goes to…”

 

I kept my eyes on Gwen, because she was the only thing keeping me from dying with anxiety. Her eyes met mine, those big warm chocolate eyes that I’ve grown to adore. She tells so much just with her eyes, and I learned every single expression they had. My favorite hobby was making her mad, or surprised, just so I could see the changes on her face. It was an amazing and delicious thing to watch. 

 

I was bound to become just another country singer, one that just had songs about drinking and fishing. A standard guy, who would occasionally release one song or two just to pay the bills and keep the label happy. I was short on inspiration, on something that would start the fire within all over again. 

 

I wasn't living, I was just going by, breathing and functioning, but there wasn't any joy in that at all. 

 

Until I met her. Gwen, with all she's been through, showed me that life was worth living, that everyday was a blessing to wake up to. So I caught myself thinking of ways that we could spend the weekend, or do something fun, anything that I could think of that she would like. She was a breath of fresh air in my life, truly a reason to live. I wanted to win this award so I could show her how much she changed my life.

 

“...ONE NIGHT GIRL, BY BLAKE SHELTON!”

 

I didn’t even flinch. Gwen opened the most beautiful smile, not a surprised one, but a “I knew it already” smile, which it made me even happier. I got closer to kiss her, and stood up, she quickly following. Luke, who was by my side, pulled me for a hug and afterwards I made my way to the stage. 

 

My first Grammy win. The presenter handed my the award and I shook my head in disbelief. 

 

“Wow, I… I don’t even know how that happened..” Everybody in the audience laughed. “But I have a pretty good guess, and that guess came with me tonight on the most beautiful golden dress I’ve ever seen.” I said, referring to Gwen, who blushed and giggled. “I know I have a ton of people to thank, my label, my producers, my family, but first, I wanna thank this incredible lady whom is the reason I wrote this song.” I looked straight to her, and even from a distance I could see her eyes filling with water. “Gwen, baby, a thousand songs wouldn’t be enough to show you how much you saved my life. I could never thank you enough. You are the light of my life, and this Grammy is for you. I love you.” She was full on crying and smiling at the same time, and with the corner of my eye, I could see she was not the only one with that reaction. A lot of people were sporting that  _ awww  _ expression. Even I was choking up. 

 

After I quickly thanked some of the people that I had to thank., I went backstage, to wait for the commercial break to return to my seat and leave the Grammy, so they could engrave my name on the award. Gwen came running into my arms, traces of tears still on her face.

 

“Oh my God, baby! Congratulations!” Her arms went behind my neck and I crossed mine behind her back, hugging her tight and letting her scent calm me down. She was my personal brand of tranquilizer. “I’m so, so, so proud of you.” She backed a little so she could look into my eyes. “And that speech… My God, you didn’t have to make me cry that much!”

 

“I only said what I was feeling.. And I meant every single word, sweetie. You are my everything.” Her eyes softened and she cupped my jaw with her right hand, fondling my cheek with her thumb. 

 

I didn’t care we were in the middle of a hall on the backstage of the Grammys, surrounded by people working and going everywhere. I didn’t care that probably photographers were taking pictures of us and tomorrow our little private moment would be out for the world to see. When she looked me with such pride, such love on her eyes, I had to kiss her. 

 

I ended up not winning Country Album of the Year, but it didn’t really bothered me.

 

“Are you ready to go? Everyone is waiting for us.” She asked, shortly after the category ended.

 

We had a party going on at my house, in honor of my Grammy nomination. Well, now it was for my win. At least that was the excuse I used to gather everyone at one place. I invited everyone, from my friends and family to Gwen’s, even her parents were here, because tonight wasn’t only about my award. 

 

I was going to ask Gwen to marry me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'mon, you can't get mad at me with that happy cliffhanger!
> 
> Besides, the next ones are gonna be double chapters! Both points of view for your reading delight :D


	33. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So.... I'm not really sure about this one. There is a lot of things that I wanted to write here, but at the same time, I didn't want to rush anything, so this chapter kinda stood in the middle. I was going to do a double chapter but I took too long to write this one and also I realized that there is only 3 left, so I'm gonna stall a little bit ahaha
> 
> Music inspired by Holy Ground - Banners and Livewire - Oh Wonder

_Crazy, crazy week._

 

Not only it was Grammy weekend, Blake’s first as a runner-up with one of the songs he wrote by himself (one that is, as he claims, about me) along with a nomination for his album as Country Album of the Year, it was also the week we would open our foundation, Little Angels, for children coming from abusive homes, and it’s branch for the mothers, called Helping Hands.

 

Both projects were our heart and soul for this past year. We found a great area, close to large neighbourhoods with high rates on domestic violence. We wanted to create a safe haven, so the LAPD would designate a couple officers to be available at all times, ready to provide care for the victims. A legal attorney would also help with advice on divorce, child support and other questions the victims might have, and a therapist would talk to anyone who needed it. It was important for me that everyone that needed help would be taken care of, so we would offer temporary shelter with clean beds and good food, until they could get back on their feet.

 

Blake was more involved with Little Angels, focusing in building a safe and fun environment for kids to simply be kids. We would offer instruments and singing lessons, along with help with homework, some extra classes, but not forgetting sports time. Something to occupy their time and their minds when everything else was uncertain.

 

But my pride and joy was the Helping Hands. As we all know, a great part of the abuse happens because the victim can’t free herself from the husband, usually the one controlling the money. Using coercion and terroristic mind games, the abuser gets the victim to drop her job to stay home, or the woman doesn’t even get the chance to graduate or find work in the first place. It’s estimated that 25% - 50% of victims of abuse from a partner have lost their job due to domestic violence. So, even if she runs away, how is she gonna be able to provide for her and her children? If someone is telling you over and over that you’re good for nothing, that you can’t do even the simple jobs and without him, you’re gonna starve to death, you believe it. That’s why so many women end up staying on an abusive home, even after seeking help from the police.

 

With L.A.M.B’s help, we were going to change that. The company had agreed to offering courses on pretty much every department on the fashion world, since the seamstress to the designer, along with an internship for six months on it’s headquarters. The best ones would be hired definitely. This would mean a whole new life for those who had suffered too much. Of course, financial violence was not the only issue to be fought. There is so much more, so many feelings involved, so many ties that were hard to break. This was only the first step towards freedom.

 

With time, we would have our own clothing line as well, and all profits would come to the foundation and the attended families.

 

After so much work, it was finally time to start running. A lot of people, from our family and friends, was willing to help. Even my parents, Todd and Jen (with Stella) had flew in from Italy to join for the first few days. They said they wanted to help, and I was more than happy to have them here. With Blake’s Grammy nominations, it seemed only fair to gather everything into one hectic week, so everybody could be there for us on both celebrations.

 

Some of Blake's friends also helped, financially and putting their time into this project as well, which, for me, was priceless.

 

Tonight, it was Grammy night. I was a little bit nervous before going, giving that our last red carpet almost broke us off, but things were different now. We were already living together, stronger and tighter than ever. Little by little, people started to realize that our love was real.

 

Not that we needed any validation.

 

But it was nice to see everyone finally understand what we meant to each other. When he won Best Country Song and thanked me on his speech, it was like something clicked inside their heads, like _oh, they are really going to last._ I didn’t have enough words to describe how proud I was of him. Despite him being all shy and saying that I was the one who brought this up on him, I disagree. His talent was there all along, but was being neglected by his past relationships. When he felt comfortable, loved and cherished, it was only a matter of time for those feelings show on his lyrics. I was simply doing my job as his girlfriend.

 

We were now on our way back to our house where the party on Blake’s behalf was probably already in full swing. Blake was by my side in the back of the limo, fidgeting and holding my hand tight over his lap.

 

“Hey…” I called, flashing a smile, and he looked at me. “You already won, there’s no need to be nervous.”

 

He stopped and took my hand to his lips, placing a sweet kiss on top of it. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I just can’t believe it.”

 

Something on the way he said it was a bit off. So I narrowed my eyes, glancing at him suspiciously. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Huh?” He seemed distracted, looking at the window. When I called his attention for the second time, he looked at me, embarrassed. “Sorry…. But yeah, I’m just a bit nervous about this whole night… It didn’t quite settle down in my mind that now I am a Grammy winner.”

 

“Is that all?”

 

“Don’t worry about me, baby girl…” He touched my face with the back of his hand.. “It’s just an overwhelming week, that’s all.. But I’m glad you’re by my side.”

 

“Will you tell me if there’s anything wrong?” After all we’ve been through, communication was the key and I didn’t want to lose that.

 

“Of course, darlin. But enough about this, I want you to enjoy this night.”

 

“Okay… Are your friends going to be there?”

 

“They better be. I want everyone there.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Well.. It’s my goddamn party, right? If they like me, they should come.”

 

We arrived and, as expected, everyone we knew was there. All the people that meant anything for us was there. My heart barely fit in my chest, so big with love and pride for this amazing man. Seeing everyone cheering for him, congratulating him, saying that they knew this award was his all along made me emotional. I had tears coming down my face even before we reached the end of the room.

 

My brother came to us, congratulating Blake first and then came to me, but stopped when he saw the tears.

 

“Wait, are you crying already?”

 

“Already?” I was confused. “What do you mean?”

 

But before he could answer, my mom interrupted our chat, passing through in between us to hug Blake. You know, for someone who had only met Blake once, they were pretty tight and intimate. All of them. Even my dad, who ran downstairs as soon as he heard us coming and pulled Blake on the side to talk to him.

 

This night was weirder than I thought it would be.

 

However, I didn’t have time to think into it, because Behati was waving at me from a distance.

 

“Oh you’re here! How did you manage to leave Dusty at home?” Dusty Rose Levine was the most precious baby ever, the perfect combination between a rockstar dad and a supermodel mom. Bee proved to be a doting mom, rarely seen without her baby. But can you blame her? Dusty was such a darling that everyone fell instantly in love with her. It was rare when she was crying, and she would go with anybody that smiled at her.

She was definitely going to be a heartbreaker.

 

“Tonight is date night for us! Our first time out without her. I thought it would be liberating, but I find myself calling my mom to check up on them every five minutes.”

 

“That happens with every new mom and dad ever.” I laughed.

 

“So… We watched the ceremony here too.. How cute was that? Blake dedicating his Grammy to you.. We almost died!” She directed her angel eyes to me, batting her eyelashes.

 

“Don’t tell me about it! I almost died too! He is so dumb…” I told her, not able to stop smiling “But there is something up, he was super nervous coming here…. He tried to shrug it off saying that he didn’t believe he was a Grammy winner now, but still…”

 

Behati straightened her back for a second, but masked the movement by waving her hand at me, dismissing the subject. “You shouldn’t worry about it, this night has been a emotional rollercoaster so far for both of you… I’m sure everything is fine.”

 

“Yeah, I guess…” But I wasn’t too sure.

 

“Now, go mingle at your party, there’s plenty of people wanting to talk to you.”

 

I saluted her with a military wave, since she was bossing me around, and she laughed. I grabbed a glass of wine and started walking among the guests, occasionally talking to someone.

 

Blake was nowhere to be found.

 

Kelly suddenly jumped in front of me, crazy excited. “OH MY GOD, Gwen! I’m so happy for you and Blake!” She hugged me, and I was infected by her bliss. “It’s finally happening, right?”

 

“Yes!! After so long, he finally had the recognition he deserves. I couldn’t be more proud of him.” I said, gushing about my man. She looked at me funny, and after one second she understood was I was saying.

 

“Oh, you’re talking about the Grammy. Yes, that too!” She slapped her forehead, as if she just remembered what the party was about.

 

“Okay, what’s going on? Everyone is acting weird today.” I put one hand on my waist, exasperated with all the secrecy.

 

“Uhm… I shouldn’t say-”

 

“Hello, everyone, and thank you for coming to this party tonight.” Blake’s deep voice blasted through the speakers. I looked over the stage we had set up for a couple bands, as well as some of our guests to get up and sing. He had taken off his suit, remaining only with her vest on top of his shirt.

 

I remember when he asked me to choose his outfit for the night. He was so nervous, it was so cute.. He probably thought I was going to dress him in some bedazzled shirt and neon pants. But I would never dare to pick anything different than his style, manly, traditional and super, super sexy. So I selected a dark-gray vest, a graphite button-down shirt and black suit. The overlay of similar colors really brought up his blue eyes, and he was more handsome than ever.

 

“Y’all know I’m not a big fan of grand gestures of parties, but I realized this night deserved something special. So thank you for being here, it means so much to me.”

 

Everyone turned his way and raised their glasses, and I did the same.

 

“Now, Gwen, where are you? You should come here and say hello to our guests too.” He said with a smile and I raised my hand to let him know where I was. I walked to the stage and he helped me get up, placing a kiss on top of my head and handing me a microphone.

 

“Uhm, hi, everybody… I’m not as familiar with a mic as Blake is, but....” The guests laughed of my awkwardness. “But I just wanted to say thank you for helping me celebrate this incredible guy that is Blake. Seeing you all here congratulating him, seeing how loved he is makes my heart beat faster.” I turned to him, reaching a hand to fondle his hair. “So... welcome to our house and please enjoy the party!”

 

Everyone clapped, and I handed the mic back to Blake.

 

“Well, before y’all get shit drunk, I’m gonna do something. I’m about to steal my own thunder, but fuck it.” I turned to him, facing him completely, and watched as he ran his fingers through his hair, nervous.

 

“What are you doing, baby?” I whispered, suddenly nervous.

 

“Okay, so…” He started, looking at me. “Since you came into my life, I’m someone else. You’ve taught me so much about love, life, about taking risks… Everyone can see how much better you make me, everyday.” _Oh my God. Is that what I think it is??_ He continued. “This party is not really about me, baby girl.. I invited everyone here, including your family, using the Grammy and the foundation as an excuse so you don’t find out before time what the _real_ reason is.”

 

My voice was nowhere to be found, so big was my shock.. I looked over our audience, and they were all grinning and swooning over us.

 

“The real reason is... I cannot imagine my life without you in it. So I’m gonna ask something I’ve been wanting to ask since the day I met you.” He pulled a small red box from his pocket and knelled in front of me. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands. “Gwen Stefani, love of my life… Do you marry me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's not even a cliffhanger, don't @ me!


	34. Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT!!
> 
> Music by When it Comes to Us - Frances

_“Yes”. The greatest word in the English language just came out of Gwen’s mouth._

 

I was the lucky son of a bitch that got the chance to ask her hand in marriage, and now she said yes. She was going to be my wife. Suddenly, everything fell into place. It was all worth it, all the pain, the sorrow, the sleepless nights I had spent inside a bottle of vodka, because my reward was now standing next to me with her hand extended as I put a diamond ring on her finger.

 

She cupped my jaw and brought me closer, grinning from ear to ear among the tears of happiness rolling down her face. I kissed her and crossed my arms at her back, sweeping her off her feet. Everyone around us clapped and shouted, cheering for us.

 

“I hope you realize the only way out of this is when God decides that our time on Earth is over.” I said in a whisper to her.

 

“Bring it on, cowboy!” She replied with the biggest grin.

 

After a couple seconds, I put her down again, planting sweet kisses over and over on her lips. She laughed and began drying her tears with the back of her hand. I pulled her closer to my body with one arm and kissed the top of her head.

 

“Okay, you can all go home now”, I said on the mic, only partially kidding. A greedy and hungry part of me wanted to throw Gwen over my shoulder, lock our bedroom door and only come out of there three days later. All the guests laughed but continued drinking and chatting, not taking me seriously. I sighed and put the mic back on it’s stand. Our private celebration would have to wait.

 

“So how many people knew your original plans?”

 

“Uhm.. Pretty much everyone.” I scratched my head, displaying my dimples in a boyish grin.

 

“Wow.. Even my parents?”

 

“Yeah… I had Todd’s number from our visit to Italy. I had to ask them their blessing.” Her eyes melted. “It’s the right thing to do. It was actually your mom’s idea to come, so I put everything together. The Grammys made a perfect excuse.”

 

Adam and Behati were the first people to congratulate us as we came down the stage.

 

“I’m so happy for you both!” Bee shouted, hugging Gwen. “I almost spilled the beans earlier, thank God you didn’t take too long to propose!”

 

“You and everybody else! I’m amazed to see that nobody ruined the surprise!” Gwen laughed. My idiot friends couldn’t keep their mouths shut around her, but luckily it all worked out.

 

Honestly, I didn’t care about the rest of the party. I just wanted Gwen all to myself. The way she moved around the house, talking to our friends, gesticulating when telling a story or something like that… I caught myself admiring and craving that woman like it was the first time I was seeing her.

 

My mom, that managed to keep her distance until now, finally sat down by my side on the couch, putting her hand on my knee. She followed my gaze to meet Gwen at a distance, talking to Kelly and Faith, and turned to the side to smile at me.

 

“You know… I knew you were going to marry her the second you told me about her on the phone.”

 

“Really, mom? How come?” I was surprised. At the time, in the middle of hell that was Nashville that week when I told my mom about Gwen, we didn’t even know that we were going to last another day, let alone get married. I guess it’s a mom thing.

 

“Your face just… lights up whenever you say her name.” She smoothed my hair, smiling proudly at me. “That still hasn’t changed. Eventually, life takes that away from us, but not with you two. I’ve never seen you do that, even with Miranda.”

 

“It makes sense because I’ve never felt this way.” On that moment, Gwen smiled at me and I took a deep breath, not even realizing it, as if she was a breeze of fresh air that had just entered the room. I felt mom laughing at my teenage reaction. “She is really special, isn’t she?”

 

“Yes dear… But she better take care of my baby boy. No more Mrs. Nice from me!” She said with a sass and I couldn’t help my let out a big belly laugh. Gwen gazed at me again, involuntarily biting her lip and smiling while Faith was telling some story to the group. I grinned back at her, on a staring contest that could’ve lit the room on fire. My mom caught the moment and shook her head. “Alright, you two lovebirds get out of here.” She tapped my knee, motioning me to get up. “It’s just some few friends left, they will understand you guys need to, uhn... _celebrate._ Patti and I will take care of the rest.”

 

I kissed my mom on her forehead and got out of the couch, before letting the embarrassment of the fact that my mom was bailing me out of my own party so I could have sex with my fiancé sink in. I approached Gwen and hugged her from behind, holding her by her waist. I pretended to pay attention to the conversation while I reached her ear, whispering on a low voice that I knew it would drive her out of her mind.

 

“Meet me on the driveway in five minutes.” Her only response was her breath trapped in her throat. She nodded almost imperceptibly. I excused myself and went outside to wait for her.

 

I stopped dead on my tracks the minute I saw Todd leaned against the garage wall, sipping a beer and gazing at the dark. He noticed me and tilted his head, inviting me over. Well, that wasn’t on the plans.

 

“Hey, Todd… Everything alright?” I said, placing my hands on my pockets as I walked near him.

 

“Yeah, just… .thinking.” He took another sip of his beer and looked at me. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For finding my sister.”

 

I scratched the back of my head, suddenly sheepish with his blunt honesty. The truth is, I wasn’t any more of Gwen’s savior as she was mine. We found each other. We both had our share of demons to kill, and we did it together.

 

“It wasn’t on purpose, but I’m happy with the way things turned out.”

 

“When she told me she was coming to America, I was scared, you know? I couldn’t let it show because her mind was pretty set up, but it terrified me. The thought of her being alone here, without anyone to fish her out of her misery used to give me nightmares. I feared the worst so many times. But you didn’t let her succumb, not even once.”

 

“I’m not some prince charming on shining armor, Todd. I had my quota of bad decisions. Sometimes I wonder if I’m right for her, that I should let her be with someone more like her, but I’m too selfish to do that. I want her by my side. The only thing I can promise is that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to do right by her.”

 

“When she told me about you, the first thing I felt was relief. But not because she was with someone, it was because her attention was now somewhere else and not on the fact that I let her kids slip out of my fingers.” He shook his head. “I kept living in fear that one day she would wake up and blame me. I think that’s why I encouraged her to come, despite fearing for her well-being. That’s why I was glad when you appeared without even knowing if you were good for her or not. How selfish is that? It’s so messed up.”

 

“Have you ever imagined how she would have felt if it was her there that day?” It was something that stuck with me ever since she told me about the day her ex-husband killed both of their sons. “Can you imagine the amount of guilt she would carry with she was the one that couldn’t do anything to stop Gavin? I don’t think she would ever recover.” I lowered my head to the ground and crushed a couple pebbles with my boot. “I don’t know, man… This will sound weird, but in some ways I’m glad that it was you there that day instead of her.”

 

“Yeah… I guess you have a point.”

 

“She may not say this, but I’m sure she feels the same way. And she never, ever thought of blaming you. She knows you did everything you could.”

 

Before Todd could answer, we heard footsteps behind us. I turned around to find a wary Gwen, uncertain if she could come over or not, now that our little sneaking out under the radar was compromised. Her brother understood our plans and laughed, getting away from the wall and heading back to the house.

 

“Sneaking out of your own party… Nice.” He lifted his beer at us, waving goodbye. “Have fun, you two.”

 

“What you guys were talking about?” She came closer and circled my waist.

 

“Nothing, just guy stuff.” She rolled her eyes at my vague answer. “Ready to get out of here?”

 

She looked at me with naughty eyes. “Yes.. but where do we go?”

 

“I was thinking about some hotel room..” I brought her face closer so I could kiss her lips. “Somewhere we don’t have any guests….” I kissed her again, this time deeper, brushing her tongue with mine. “And we can be as loud as we want it.”

 

“What are we waiting for, then?”

 

We got out of there giggling like little kids. I just couldn’t believe that this amazing woman by my side was going to be my wife. It was a refreshing feeling be able to be silly, adventurous, dumb and free with someone that wasn’t judging your every move. I didn’t realize how much I missed this closeness, an intimacy so pure and strong that even a simple touch could make us both spontaneously combust.

 

Just like now.

 

We got to some discrete hotel nearby and the elevator ride was enough to awake that all-too familiar hunger in her eyes. The last smart decision my brain made was to ask the honeymoon suite, on the last floor and without close neighbours, because from the minute we stepped outside the elevator to the hall, my dick took over.

 

This night was a hell of a night. In a good way, of course, but it seemed to last ages. It didn’t seem like just a few hours back I was accepting the Grammy for Best Country Song and a little while later I was down on one knee holding an engagement ring in front of Gwen.

 

The only thing I wanted now was to make love to my future wife without anything or anyone interrupting us.

 

I barely registered the low beep the door made when she slipped the keycard. I was more focused on leaving bite marks on the nape of her neck to feel her shiver. She let out a slow moan going inside our room, and I quickly followed, never getting more than a breath’s distance from her.

 

By the end of the night, it would be nearly impossible to tell us apart.

 

I closed the door with my foot and emptied my pockets in a hurry, leaving it’s contents over a table on the living room, while still kissing and nibling her neck and earlobe. I didn’t even turned on the light. We could see the room tomorrow morning. Tonight, I only had eyes for my gorgeous fiancé.

 

Her soft moans turned into small gasps when I unbuttoned her dress and let it slip out to become a pile of fabric on the floor. I spun her on her feet to stare at those deep brown eyes. The same ones that brought me peace and tranquility at the Grammys now were making my blood boil in my veins. She bit her lip, insecure with my sudden lack of movement. I shook my head and dove in to kiss her, marching inside her mouth without taking any hostages.

 

I was told so many times that eventually routine and life would dial down this need of her. I certainly felt that with Miranda, that was probably why she jumped on somebody else’s bed. But not with Gwen. We were living together for over six months now, seeing each other everyday, acting like a married couple in every way that mattered, but still.... All it takes is one hungry look of those chocolate eyes to make me want rip out all her damn clothes.

 

I pray everyday that this never goes away.


	35. Gwen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music by Dance me to the end of love - The Civil Wars.

_ It feels good to make a difference.  _

 

I will never forget the first woman we helped. It was a couple days after we first opened the foundation. We had partnered up with some schools around the district, bringing the students after theirs classes to have some extracurricular activities, in hopes that their families would also come and get to know how we could help them. It was so rewarding seeing those kids playing like never before, without worries, learning guitar and other instruments, or simply having a quiet space to do their homework. 

 

Blake and I had made our top priority to be there at least every Wednesday. Unless we couldn’t help it, we never scheduled anything on those days, because actively participating and being a part of the volunteer team was crucial to us. It was our “day off” from work and “day on” for charity. 

 

And it was precisely on a Wednesday, at the end of the day, that a small, fragile woman appeared on the corner, with wary eyes, holding her purse for dear life. Although she was young, on her thirties probably, something on the way she moved told me that she had suffered too much already.

 

I landed the book I was reading to a couple kids that were waiting for their brothers and sisters to come out of Blake’s guitar lessons and excused myself from the group, approaching the woman carefully. 

 

“Hi… I’m Gwen. How can I help you ?”

 

She looked at me with fear in her eyes and her voice was barely a whisper when she answered. “I was wondering… I saw on the news that you guys offered shelter for a couple days.... I’m… Can I stay?”

 

“Yeah, of course! Come with me, I’ll get you settled.” I motioned her to follow me, but she stood at the same spot, still uncertain.

 

“I can pay. I used to be a seamstress and I know that here you’ll have a clothing atelier… I can work.”

 

“Don’t worry about that now. What’s your name?”

 

“Selina. I want to pay, because… I’m a lot of work right now, I just found out that I’m pregnant. I don’t want to be a burden.”

 

.”Okay…” All the volunteers had a couple of weeks of training on how to deal with sensitive topics, and this is one of them. We had to make sure the person knew that she could count on us, without pressuring him or her to open up and tell everything. “Do you need anything ? Have you been to a doctor since you discovered your status?”

 

“No, it was today. I got into a fight with my boyfriend and.. He doesn’t want any kids right now...” She teared up, holding her purse tighter over her stomach. “He told me that  _ it _ was a liability and he would take  _ it  _ out of me.” She lowered her eyes, shedding a few painful tears.

 

I will never understand why there is such cruel people on this world.

 

I reached her and put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. “Hey, Selina... Look at me. A baby is  _ always  _ a blessing, never a liability. So congratulations on your pregnancy!” I smiled, reassuringly. She smiled too, a little bit shy, and nodded.

 

“This is my first, you know? I was so happy until…”

 

“That man doesn’t know what he is missing. C’mon, let’s get you a comfy bed where you can rest for the night. Tomorrow we’ll arrange you a doctor and talk about what do you want to do while you’re here. You can use the time before the baby arrives to get back on your feet.”

 

For the first time since she entered here, I saw her eyes soften with relief. 

 

“Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for this place.” 

 

I grinned, proud and honored at the same time. “I’m happy that we can help.” 

  
  


\---------------------

  
  


“So, now that I have I ring on this finger… I think it’s time to visit that clinic we talked about.” I started the subject, trying to be funny but, inside, I was apprehensive. 

 

“Okay…” Blake put down the paper he was reading to look at me. “Are you sure about this? I’m up for whatever you want to do.” 

 

“Yeah.... I’m ready.” I sat on his lap and he started to run his hands over my back. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but it’s hard not to imagine a little girl with your dimples….”

 

“Or a boy with your eyes…” He completed, smiling. 

 

“My doctor back in Italy recommended me a specialist on fertility issues here in LA. I scheduled an appointment this Friday morning.”

 

“Okay, baby Whatever happens, I’m happy either way.”

 

I smiled back at him, but I didn’t answer. I really wanted to get pregnant. Blake deserved to be a father. Just seeing him teach those kids back at the foundation melts my heart everytime. He is such a natural dad that people often are impressed that he doesn’t have any kids. I didn’t want him to miss out on having children just because of me, it wasn’t fair. 

 

Me, on the other hand… At the same time, I was anxious and scared about the idea of having a baby again. I really enjoyed my time as a mother, having someone that looks up to you and depends on you for pretty much everything. I miss the connection, the discoveries that babies do. Normal things for us turn on big adventures for them. Most of all, I miss the house always alive and full of noises. 

 

I was sure that Blake would be a completely different father than Gavin was. Blake liked to participate in everything, and probably would take upon himself a lot of chores. Gavin never did anything. He used to play with the boys when they were a bit older, but the second they started crying...  _ Go find your mamma. _

 

The appointment on Friday was pretty much standard. The physician,  Dr. Rosenman, asked a couple questions for both of us and requested some exams, to assess our health condition. She was kind and funny, but professional at the same time. So I felt comfortable enough to ask the question that was bugging me all this time. 

 

“Doctor.. It it possible ? I mean… Is it worth trying?”

 

“There are a lot of risks involved, but we will only know for sure once we have all the tests results.”

 

Two weeks later, we returned, this time with all our exams. I was a nerve wreck. I barely ate on breakfast, and fidgeted all the way to the clinic. Blake didn’t say anything, but I could tell he was kinda nervous too. He held my hand the entire drive, occasionally kissing it unconsciously. Dr. Rosenman had analised all our documents before because the lab sent them directly over to her and right now she was looking a little bit concerned.

 

“I’m not gonna sugar coat anything for you both.” She said once we settled, looking straight at us.. “Chances are you’ll be disappointed. Gwen, you are on the verge of menopause, your eggs are becoming unusable…” I could feel my face drop with sadness, and I felt Blake’s hand squeeze mine a little tighter. “I just wanted to make sure you both know this is going to be a long and difficult road, with a strong chance of no happy ending. ” She concluded. 

 

“I don’t want to try anything that is going to harm Gwen”, Blake said, adjusting himself in the chair, looking serious. “It’s not worth it. If you say this is going to be hard on her system, then I don’t want to”, looking at me, he added, “Baby, yes I want to have a child with you, but I don’t want you taking a lot of drugs just to make this happen.”

 

I wanted to object, but he was right. What would happen to me with so much chemicals taking over my body ?

 

“I have a suggestion..” Dr. Rosenman intervened. “I’ll give you both some folders about some of the options you have. You’ll read it, consider every option, and then come back here with your decision.. That sounds fair?” We nodded.

 

That night, we spent hours reading everything, searching online, investigating… But everything sound so dangerous and with a lot of side effects, and not even guaranteed to work. 

 

“No, Gwen.. We can’t do that.” Blake shot, pushing the papers away from him. “I can’t ask you to go through all that.”

 

My heart sank on my chest. “Don’t you think it’s worth it ?”

 

“Of course not! Look at all the risks you’ll be exposed to! Miscarriage, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, bleeding… You can even die giving birth, Gwen! And the baby could have physical problems too…”

 

“A lot of women on their late 40s give birth just fine to normal babies.” I tried to argue, but those things scared me too. 

 

“Did you see the percentage of success on each procedure ? 30% at best. But the side effects are real and way more common.”

 

“Won’t we even gonna try ?” My eyes were filled with tears. “We are simply dismissing this dream like it’s not worth it the trouble?”

 

“Baby… We’ve been trying without knowing for quite some time, don’t you think ? We’ve been having unprotected sex since the beginning… and Lord knows we give faith plenty of chances to give us a baby.” He tried to lighten the mood, my my head was heavy with everything. I let him hug me, but inside I was shattered. We couldn’t have a baby, and it was all my fault. “I’ll tell you what. If you really want to do this, we’ll give six months. I don’t want you taking these drugs for too long. If nothing happens, we’ll try adopting. Deal?”

 

“Deal!” I agreed, hugging him tighter and resting my head on his chest. 

 

“And if you see the tiniest side effect, you’ll tell the doctor and we’ll stop. Okay?” I want to have a baby as much as you, but I’m not gonna risk your life to do so. You are my world and not even a pretty little blond girl that calls you mommy is worth the risk of losing you.”

  
It was all going to be okay, I knew that in my heart. God wouldn’t put this with on our hearts if He didn’t have the intention of granting it, right ? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter coming... I'm sad already =(


	36. Gwen & Blake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There it is, the last chapter of this amazing journey. I can't thank you enough for reading it and giving me the feedback I needed to improve my writing and the story itself. Never in my wildest dreams I thought I had the talent or the knowledge necessary to write over 170 pages and almost 68 THOUSAND words in English and it is all thanks to this incredible supportive fandom. I love you guys beyond words! 
> 
> Music for this last chapter: Gwen part: Wasteland - Daniel Gidlund | Blake part: Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur

**Part 1 - Gwen**

 

_Sixth pregnancy test, sixth negative._

 

I tried not to feel such a failure, but it was impossible. I knew this was a possibility, we’ve been warned, still… Deep down, I thought we could make it. I thought my fairytale love could have the perfect ending, but I was wrong. Apparently, my insides didn’t think the same way. I wiped my tears away, threw the test on the trash and got out of the bathroom.

 

We’ve been taking the medication religiously like the doctor advised us to do it, and practicing _a lot_. On my fertile week, we would have sex like bunnies. I did everything by the book, searched every weird little trick, we tried every position and every aphrodisiac, but even then… no baby.

 

Blake was waiting for me on the other side of the door, and he tried so hard to disguise the look of disappointment on his face when he saw my red nose and puffy eyes, but I caught a glimpse of it. He pulled me inside his arms to a hug and I closed my eyes, breathing his scent. He kissed my forehead and stroke my back, comforting me.

 

“We knew this could happen, sweetheart. Let’s move on to another option.”

 

“I know, I just…. I thought I could do it.”

 

“It’s not up to us, you know that, right? Maybe God is cooking us something even better.” He backed his head to look into my eyes and flashed his dimples at me, caressing my arm. “Now cheer up, we have a day full of kids ahead of us.” He gently shook me to lighten the mood, and I smiled at his playfulness.

 

It was a Wednesday, which means… Foundation day. My side of the program, Helping Hands, already had twenty women enrolled on the classes. Twenty lives slowly getting back on their tracks.

 

“Yeah, I have a lot to do today, hopefully Sel will be back from her doctor appointment when we get there.”

 

“Was she able to find out the gender?”

 

I laughed. Her baby was giving her a hard time to reveal whether it was a boy or a girl. She did three scans so far and in all of them her baby was with it’s legs closed. “Hopefully she discovers it today. She’s been impatient all week.”

 

In the past six months, Selina and I became inseparable. She was my right arm on the program and quickly proved herself to be witty, smart and hard-worker. On top of that, we became really good friends. She was leading the seamstress team and coordinating everything on her field.

 

We started paying for her work and she was able to rent a small apartment just around the corner from the institution’s headquarters. She said she wanted to be close in case someone needed her, but I had my doubts that the true was actually the opposite. Her ex-boyfriend has been after her and for two times the police was called to get him out of there. She was being harassed and I begged her to come back to the shelter, at least until we make sure she was safe, especially now that she was in the middle of her last trimester. But Selina said she needed her freedom and her independence.

 

I cared a lot about her, because she reminded me of my young self, struggling to make her own path after an abusive relationship. I thought that being closer to her while she was pregnant and I was having fertility issues was going to be difficult, but it was quite the other way around. I got to help her with my past experiences and be there for her as kind of a mother figure, since she didn’t have any family. She had already asked me and Blake to be the baby’s Godparents.

 

We arrived and Blake went to prepare his class, because the kids would arrive soon. I went to my desk, looking for some papers we needed to send until the end of the day. Shortly after I sat down, Selina bursted into the room, out of breath but with a triumphant grin on her face.

 

“Hey, slow it down! You’re gonna trip and fall!” I scolded her, but with a caring tone.

 

“I’m sorry, I just had to find you! My little sunshine finally let me see it!” She called her baby _sunshine_ because it was always more active, kicking and moving inside her belly when she was standing in the sun. I widened my eyes and jumped out of my chair.

 

“So… boy or girl?” I reached her belly, looking at her with expectant eyes.

 

“It’s a boy! My sunshine is a boy!”

 

We both jumped and screamed at the same time, hugging each other.

 

“Oh my God, Sel!! Congratulations, honey!”

 

“I cannot believe this, I‘ve always wanted a little boy!”

 

“You’re gonna have a heart attack on a daily basis, but it will be so fun!” She laughed out loud and stroked her belly. I did the same. “Now we can shop for little blue jumpsuits!”

 

Selina stared at me, her eyes filling with tears, suddenly emotional. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. “I don’t say this enough, but thank you, Gwen. I don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t for you and Blake.”

 

I pulled her for a hug, trying to hold back my own tears. “It’s been my pleasure, Sel. I didn’t know that I would get such a dear friend from all of this.”

 

She simply nodded, swallowing her emotions, and we split our embrace. “What about you? Still no luck with your treatment?”

 

I sighed. “No… My time has ran out. Now we will try adopting. Blake got a little disappointed, but didn’t mind as much as I did.”

 

“I’m sorry, G…” She fondled my arm, showing support.

 

“It’s okay. We knew this could happen, right? We gave it our best shot.”

 

“What in God’s name is happening here? I can hear your screams all the way from my classroom!” Blake’s head popped on the door. We both turned around to face him.

 

“I’m having a boy, Blake!” Selina chimed, unable to stop smiling. Blake clapped his hands with joy and came forward to hug her.

 

“A-ha, I knew it! I told you there was a little cowboy inside ya! Congratulations, sweetie.”

 

“Thank you. Now you can start preparing the horseback riding lessons.” She said, smiling.

 

“I’m right on it. This little buddy will be the best horseman you’ve ever seen!” He reached me to place a soft peck on my lips. “Now I’ll go back to my class. See you girls later.”

 

He left, leaving us alone again. We looked at each other for a second and screamed and jumped again, like schoolgirls.

  


 

On that night, something woke me up. I wasn’t sure what, but it was a desperate feeling. My heart was racing and I immediately stood up, sitting in the bed. The movement woke Blake too. With foggy eyes, he tried to reach me.

 

“Something wrong, darlin?” He asked, in a low voice, his country twang a lot thicker.

 

I put my hand over my chest, trying to calm down. It has been a while since I had a nightmare. “I…. I don’t know, I think I must have had a nightmare. I just have this weird sensation.”

 

Blake also stood up, worried by my frightened tone. “What are you feeling? Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine… I just…” Suddenly, Selina popped into my head. Maybe my nightmare was about her. “I’m just gonna check up on Sel, can you handle me my phone?” He did and I tried calling her three times with no answer. Each time I was getting more and more nervous.

 

On the fourth time, I got out of the bed and went to the closet, turning on the lights. I was going to her apartment.

 

“Baby, it’s 4h15 in the morning, maybe she is heavy sleeping and didn’t hear the phone.” Blake tried to reason me out but I wasn’t having it. Something was wrong, I could feel it.

 

“Better be safe than sorry. She’s eight months pregnant and alone, maybe she had something and can’t reach her phone.” I said, changing my pajamas into pants and a shirt.

 

“Are you sure you want to go out at this time at night?” Blake sighed, but his voice had a hint of worry too.

 

I came back to the bedroom and “Please, Blake, I just…” I didn’t even had to finish the sentence. He saw the terrified look on my face and nodded, getting up too.

 

“Okay, I’ll go with you.”

 

The first sign something was wrong were police cars in front of her building. My heart practically got out of my chest and I jolted forward, opening the car door without waiting for Blake to park it. As soon as I got out, officer McDaniel, one of the policemen that usually were at Little Angels, came to my encounter.

 

“Gwen, I was about to call you…”

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” My voice came out high and strangled with panic.

 

He lowered his head, unable to face me. “It’s Selina.”

 

_No, no, no…._

 

I bolted and got inside her apartment, which was on the first floor, with Blake right behind me. When I reached the door, I saw it.

 

 _Blood._  On the floor, next to the kitchen, it was a group of paramedics together working frantically. I screamed when I saw the reason for all the chaos. Selina’s body completely still, with no color on her skin.

 

Blake tried to stop me, putting a hand on my shoulder, but I got rid of it and approached my friend, sobbing. As I got closer, I could see her face, with all kinds of shades of red and purple. Behind her hair, on the floor, a giant puddle of blood.

 

I screamed her name and freaked out.

 

I didn’t even realize that Blake was holding me until he gently started pulling me out of the door.

 

“Shh.. Gwen, let the medics do their thing, c’mon…”

 

“No, no.. Sel.. Oh my God, Blake… I have to…” I didn’t know what to do.

 

He hugged me and tried to calm me down, kissing the top of my head over and over. “Let’s wait here and see what happens, there’s nothing we could do now.”

 

I cried and cried until I had no more tears left. The rescue team was able to stabilize her and take her to the nearest hospital, and we went with them. There, they immediately took her to surgery and we had no option but to wait. I sat down, got up, started walking back and forth, drank some tea Blake brought me… And nothing. From time to time, he softly pleaded me to sit down, but I just couldn’t.

 

Officer McDaniel came by some time later, to fill us in on what happened. Sel’s ex-boyfriend went to her house that night, drunk and high on cocaine, demanding her to let him in. She opened the door to try calming him down, but it was the worst thing she could have done. He attacked her with punches on her face and stomach, aiming for her baby, and when she tried to defend herself, he pushed her against the corner of the table, causing her head injury. He tried to run away, but the neighbors held him and called the cops.

 

I was in a constant state of prayer. I simply could not believe that God would put her in my life just to take her away in such a brutal way, just like my babies. Selina deserved the world, she was just getting out of a horrible life… She didn’t have the chance to live yet.

 

She was so happy just yesterday… This wasn’t fair.

 

“I’m going to the chapel pray a little… Can you come find me if she gets out of surgery?”

 

“Absolutely, baby girl. Don’t worry.”

  


Thankfully, it was quiet and peaceful there. I sat on the bench, looking at the cross in front of me. I wanted so bad to understand all of this, to make a logic reason behind all this pain. Losing my kids, then finding Blake, then starting this foundation and meeting Selina, and now this. What’s the point? Is it worth even trying?

 

I prayed and pleaded with everything I got for God to take her out of this, she didn’t deserve the horrible things that were happening to her.

 

“God, if you are really there, if you are really listening…. I’d really like to know why. I don’t see a reason and this is killing me. Makes me feel like… no matter what we do… it’s useless. I can’t bare this pain in my chest, I can’t lose anyone else. So please, if you’re there… Send me a sign, show me that it all has a reason.”

 

I stayed there, in silence, for a couple more minutes, until I felt Blake’s hand on my shoulder.

 

“C’mon, sweetie. Her doctor wants to talk to us.”

  
  


\------------------------------

  


**Part 2 - Blake**

 

2 YEARS LATER

 

_I wasn’t prepared for the sight of a Gwen in a wedding dress._

 

We’ve been planning this day for six months now, I was fully aware that she was going to wear white and that she would look completely stunning, but still… She turned the corner to walk my way down the aisle and I felt completely out of breath. Tears prickled my eyes and I felt myself crying and smiling like a damn fool.

 

We chose to get married at our ranch in Oklahoma, with only the closest friends and family. It was a beautiful summer afternoon, one hour before sunset, and the golden light let everything kinda magical. Adam, of course, was my best man, and Behati was Gwen’s maid of honor.

 

Our wedding was long overdue, but you know life, it likes to play tricks with us. Not that we would change anything, but we certainly also didn’t see it coming.

 

Our life turned upside down with Selina’s death. That day, she didn’t make it out of the surgery. The doctors performed an emergency c-section and the baby was able to live. Selina had already listed us as godparents and legal guardians of her child in case something happened to her, probably anticipating that her ex-boyfriend would try to do something against her.

 

We suddenly found ourselves mourning a dear friend’s loss, especially Gwen, who had become close with Selina on the past months, and with a newborn in our hands. We cried and laughed and felt desperate, we felt guilty by enjoying having a child at the cost of losing Selina, we were still trying to make our peace with the way things turned out, but now, we were kinda getting the hang of it. We obviously had preferred that she was alive and raising her son with us, but it is not our choice to make. At least we can be there for Apollo and honor her memory in every way we can. If this was the way that everything had to happen, so be it. Being a father was the best feeling in the world.

 

The baby received the name Apollo, greek god of the Sun, because Selina used to call him her “sunshine”, so Gwen thought it was appropriate. He was indeed the light in our life, making everything better and lifting the mood with only the power of his baby laughter.

 

He was now taking wobbling steps walking in front of his mom, on a little tuxedo we had made especially for this occasion, exactly like mine. He was holding a Bible with his little hands that contained our wedding rings tied with a bow. Everyone laughed and swooned over him, but all our breaths got caught up on our throats the minute my stunning bride stepped in.

 

Gwen designed her dress herself, so it was completely heart-stopping. It was vintage and elegant, with a lace pattern so beautiful I never knew something like that could be so simple and so intricate at the same time. But, of course, I only noticed those little details later, at the party, because now, my tears only let me focus on her smile.

 

She was crying too, holding her father’s arm tight with one hand and a bouquet with wild flowers with the other.

 

Apollo arrived first, I picked him up on my lap and we waited Gwen to finish her walk up to us. Dennis greeted me, placed a kiss on Apollo’s forehead and then on Gwen’s, whispering a sweet “I love you, honey” to her. She nodded at him and turned to us, smiling even bigger. Apollo threw his tiny arms at her and she kissed both his hands before changing her focus to me.

 

Our eyes met and shared a thousand unspoken words. A thousand promises and a thousand more hopes for the future to come. After all the twists and turns, little shortcuts and long detours, our paths were forever bound to be side to side. We’ve come a long way and it was exactly how it was supposed to be.

 

It was hard to remember that I used to have a life before her. I certainly didn’t remember. It was all gray and out of focus, like an old tv stuck on a lame chanel. After her, it all became clear, full of life and in bright technicolor.

 

I put Apollo on the floor and he went to sit next to Stella. Gwen intertwined our hands and looked right into my eyes again.

 

“Ready, baby girl?”

 

She took a deep breath before answering. “Just say you won’t let go.”


End file.
